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Candy Countin’
Vyvian had decided to take inventory. Why, Chase couldn’t quite understand. They’d stocked up at port two days before, and they couldn’t possibly be running out of anything just yet. None of the crew had seemed particularly excited about the stock-take, so Vyvian had let them be, choosing to haul the food crates around herself.
“You know…” Chase addressed his sugary companion, chewing slowly before swallowing. “I think Dom may have a little thing for the captain.”
“Why’s that?” Felix actually managed to sound snide, but it was hard to take seriously when the boy had a lollypop between his teeth and a smile from ear to ear. “Is it ‘cause he’s always around Mummy, or, or, or ‘cause he’s always carrying her things, or the whippy-whippy sounds that we make that make him all funny and red in the face?” No child should be able to grin that evilly.
“Mm…could be that.” Chase’s grin was lazy, as he watched Dominic stack the last of the boxes. The red-head had dropped his jacket for the work, and for anyone looking it was rather obvious his under-shirt was sticking to his skin. Mana was certainly taking an eyeful, and she claimed hotly that she’d never consider touching Dominic, if only because of his attitude. Even as Dominic leant on the railing close by, his task done, Vyvian glanced up only long enough to grace him with a thankful smile before returning to her catalogue. Sadly, this seemed enough for him.
“She’s either not noticing or not interested.”
"If mummy wasn't interested, she'd totally let Dom know. Andandand since she's not all 'OMG I don't like you, Dom!' she might have sorta kinda maybe not noticed yet. She's super special awesome, but she's so super special busy, too!"
“Too busy, if you ask me. Does she ever sit still?” Chase began licking his fingers of chocolate goop as Vyvian, across the deck, began prying off the lids of various crates and barrels. “You know, it’d probably be a good thing if they got together. The Captain might calm down and Dom might actually lighten up once in a while.”Felix snorted in disbelief. “Totally’d never happen, Cha.”
“Well love’s meant to do funny things, and all that.” The dark-haired man said sagely, plucking the rare, un-eaten bun from Felix’s grasp. He continued before the child could protest. “’Sides, don’t you want the captain to be happy?”
“Course I do!” Felix had scrambled down from the railing now, and beat his hand weakly against his chest in what was meant to mimic a soldier’s move. “Mummy’s totally meant to be happy, because she’s the most awesomest, coolest mummy ever. And, and, and she’s got all us and we’re awesome too! And if Mummy’s happy, we’re happy, so we gotta make sure Mummy’s happy all the time!”
“Exactly!” While anyone else would take a few moments to have understood all of that, Chase was right on the money. “And she’s got to get lonely at some time, even with us around.”“Lonely?” Felix appeared appalled.
“Well yeah. When she’s doing important stuff she doesn’t let us touch. She lets Dominic help.”
“Oh! With, with, like, the stocktaking and, and, and the super secret missions that you need to be really, really, quiet on?” The auburn-haired child looked a tad embarrassed. “I’m not so great at those.”
“Yeah, all that stuff.” Chase had to admit, he wasn’t the sneakiest of men either. “She needs someone more boring and serious to keep her company. Similar, you know?”
“Mummy’s totally more awesome than Dom-Dom.” Baggy sleeves hid Felix’s crossed arms as he seemed to think about this statement. “Though she does kinda, sorta complain that we’re too hyper all the time.”
“Exactly. You know what we need though, Felix?”
The child looked up at him with large, trusting eyes. Chase let out a low chuckle.
“We need a plan.”
- - - -
“Super secret book stealing mission go!” Felix murmured to himself as Chase moved into position across deck. The plan was simple; sneak into Vyvian’s study and locate one of those romance novels she read once a month (always accompanied by multiple mugs of hot chocolate). Felix knew where she kept them – stashed behind a set of dictionaries – but Vyvian always locked her cabin when she wasn’t this a problem? Of course not!
It was an icky, sticky day when they finally struck. Everyone who was able was out on deck, loitering lazily in whatever shade was available. Even Vyvian seemed resigned to not working and sat comfortably sprawled under the stairs with a book, while Dominic whittled wood into splinters nearby. Chase looked uncomfortable as he sidled over. From this distance, Felix couldn’t hear what he said but, from the animated response Vyvian made, it had to be about what she was reading. Poor, poor Chase.
His hands crammed into his pockets in an awkward attempt to appear casual, Felix tried to whistle as he approached the captain’s cabin. He always had difficulty with the rolling tongue part and usually gave up after almost spitting out his lolly-pop by mistake. Vyvian said it was the lolly-pop’s fault. Felix knew better. Today the sweet was conspicuously missing so Felix was having slightly more luck (though the mints crammed into his cheeks made things awkward, he’d have to admit).
The weak, off-tune noise seemed to work though, as no-one paid him so much as a glance as he walked along. As it was so horribly, nastily hot, Vyvian was not in her study as mentioned earlier. This was all part of the super-secret plan because since it was so hot, Vyvian had left her windows open, optimistic that a cool change would move in at dusk. Felix did think of himself as rather cool – so cool, in fact, that he didn’t need sunglasses to prove it – so it was obvious that he could get through the window too. It lay invitingly at eye level and, provided no-one looked up towards the helm, he should be able to get in easily.
His hands grasped the window frame, his whistling continuing in his quest not to be noticed, and he hauled himself through the slender gap. Only to get stuck.
As he squirmed, caught between the frame and Vyvian’s excessively nice curtains, Chase happened to glance up. He winced and, before Vyvian could turn to look, quickly delved back in. “So, why is this group wrong in calling the rulers a…ah… socialist tyranny when they also want…ah…the same thing?”
Vyvian sighed and began again.
After a terrible battle with the curtains that lasted several minutes, Felix finally fell into Vyvian’s study, triumphant. Thankfully, the rest of the captain’s cabin was relatively amicable, though the dictionaries made an almost audible protest as the child hauled them down and spread them about the floor. It was hard work but finally, lying there before him, was his prize. A perfect row of weakly coloured covers – in alphabetical order, of course, Vyvian would have nothing less – sporting titles such as ‘Twin Hearts’, ‘New Beginnings’ and ‘His runaway bride’. They all sounded rather boring and girly to Felix, but the beginnings one sounded kinda sorta what they were after. He grabbed it, pushed the others together and replaced the dictionaries.
Later that night, Vyvian would blame the mess under her window on the storm that had blown in that night.
-
“I got it, Cha-cha!” Felix announced from behind a large, pink bubble. The bubble popped pleasingly and he gobbled it back into his mouth, jaw working eagerly. Chase didn’t reply for a moment, mumbling about misguided socialists and their impossible ideals, his eyes glazed, so Felix tossed the thin, paper-back at him. The man caught it easily, though he eyed it a moment in confusion. “It’s the romance novel, Cha-cha.”
“Explains the half-naked people on the front, then.” Chase muttered, now looking even more wary and holding the book with two fingers.
“Why are they – “
“Don’t worry about it.” Chase’s response was hurried, and Felix pouted. Just because these people couldn’t put their clothes on properly…
“Anyway, this should help.” Felix noted that Chase methodically avoided the back of the book, “Let’s see…gifts seem to be a big in this story.”
“Big gifts?”
“No, no, but lots of them.”
“But what does Mummy want? She’s totally the bestest pirate ever so she can just steal anything she wants!”
Chase appeared to think, tapping the novel against his thigh. “Perhaps something small, like a favour?”
“Like taking her hot chocolate?” Felix’s eyes lit up. “Mummy totally loves hot chocolate! And, and, and she always makes me go get it but I’m not so good at that and I always seem to spill it, and then Mielle’s all ‘Rah! You ‘as speelt ze Capt’n’s drink again, Fleex?’ and I hate it when she calls me – “
“You know, Felix, that might just work.”
-
Precariously wobbling up the stairs, a large mug between his hot little hands, Felix cast a surreptitious glance around for the red-head in question. Chase totally checked things out, and Dominic always, always, came out to the deck around now to do…something…so he should be…aha!
“Dom-dooooooom!”
Dominic had been quietly minding his own business and heading up to the deck when he suddenly tensed up. Trotting as fast as he dared with his precious mug of chocolatey goop, Felix couldn’t begin to think of a reason why Dominic wouldn’t want to talk to him. The red-head always seemed so cranky.
“Dom-dom!” A vein near Dominic’s mouth twitched subtly as Felix whined. “Dom-dom, I totally need to go pee-pee but I need to take this to Mummy but she doesn’t like soggy books! Can you take it?”“She…what?”
“Thanks, Dom-dom!” The mug of hot chocolate was thrust into Dominic’s clutches as Felix dashed back along the corridors towards the bathroom. To say he was confused would be an exaggeration, Felix was usually this annoying and perplexing. Even so…Dominic was beginning to wonder what Vyvian fed the boy.
-
“Captain?”
Vyvian’s legs were pulled up onto the chair, her knees resting against her desk, when Dominic knocked. She certainly hadn’t been expecting him. “Come in, Dominic.”
Dominic hardly glanced at the room as he entered, looking a little uncomfortable with a mug of hot chocolate in his hands. “Ah, Felix said this was for you. He was muttering something about soggy books…”
“I wouldn’t ask.” As Dominic set the cup down, Vyvian had to shake her head. “Felix’s mind is beyond anyone. Thank you for bringing that up, Dominic, you didn’t have to.”
“No trouble at all, Captain.”
Felix was agape as the duo peeked through the window. “No kissing?”
“None.” Tugging out the stick they’d been using to part the curtains, Chase dropped to his haunches next to the child.
“Well…”Felix said slowly. “Mummy never kisses me when I bring her hot chocolate, and we know Mummy loves me. Maybe hot-chocolate isn’t kiss-earny enough?”
Chase had to agree; one hot chocolate seemed a little small to bring two stubborn people together. “But what else does Vyvian like?”
This had them both stumped for several minutes. In Chase’s opinion, Vyvian didn’t seem to like very much at all, especially if it was dirty, noisy or inconvenient (Felix being an exception to all three of these)
“Mummy’s always ultra happy when the ship’s clean…”
“I don’t think Dominic covered in dirty water from cleaning will help.” Chase paused. “Then again…”
“It was totally just a suggestion!” Felix took a few minutes to pout at Chase for his silly, silly suggestion before they both lapsed into silence. This was rather difficult, now that they thought about it. Vyvian worked, read and had things cleaned. As far as Chase knew, she didn’t do very much else.
“Mummy likes to read.”
“She has half a cabin full of books!” And she’d read them all too. Twice. Chase really didn’t understand it. Felix, on the other hand, has blown his cheeks out to epic proportions as he crammed more and more red liquorice between his lips.
“Totally didn’t let me finish, Cha-Cha.” He replied through the red goo. It was a wonder that his teeth hadn’t stuck together. “Mummy totally loves to read, but the really, really loves to read learning stuff. We could so buy her a super-special, ultra rare book!”“Why would Dominic give the Captain a book, though?”
“Oh yeah…” He hadn’t thought of that. Feeding himself another liquorice strap, black this time, Felix chewed thoughtfully for a few moments. “He could give it to her for her birthday.”
You could have heard a pin drop. Chase stared at Felix for a few moments, jaw slack and blue eyes wide. “Captain Vyvian has a birthday?”
“Course Mummy has a birthday! Everyone does!” The look on Felix’s face was incredulous. “You…you mean you totally didn’t know?”
There was an awkward pause. “I…can’t say I ever really thought about it.” It was a slow, slightly embarrassed admission. “When is it?”
Felix huffed. “Shows how much you know about Mummy. You should so buy her twice as many presents now to make up for it.” The way the boy was acting, anyone would have thought it was his own birthday that had been forgotten.
“Well it’s not as if she talks about it.” And she didn’t. At least, not to Chase. “I don’t even know how old she is, let alone her birthday.”
“You ever ask?”
There were a few moments of silence.
“Well…I didn’t…it’s not polite…”
“Bet you Dom-Dom knows.” Felix obviously wasn’t about to let this slide, and the boy’s pout had Chase wondering how many sherbet lemons he was going to need to get back in the boy’s favour. “I’ma go ask him.”
“You can’t just – “
“Mummy’s hard to buy for!” Felix teeth were a rather ghastly mix of red and black sugar now, as he gave Chase a wide smile. “Dom-dom’s so totally going to need my help!”
- - - -
The splinter between Dominic’s teeth swayed to the left. Good, he was listening. “The Captain’s birthday’s a month away.”
“Yeah, but we’re totally not at port much.” Aha, Chase owed him five coppers now; Dominic had known. Felix flipped an orange jelly jube into his mouth. “A month’s so not enough to find Mummy the most awesomest gift ever. If you’re getting her something.”
“Of course I am!” There was a pause, a rather awkward one, before Dominic coughed quietly. He began again, most slowly this time. “I mean…no-one else ever gets here anything.”
“’Cept me!” Felix chirped. “And Mummy’s really, really, reeeeeeally quiet about it, so we’re the only ones that know!”
“Well, yes…” Sensing he was walking straight into a trap of some sort, Dominic changed the subject. “You have an idea?”
“Mummy is super-special awesome.” Felix said solemnly, pushing his bandanna up and out of his eyes. “The more awesome you are, the more hard you are to buy for. Making Captain Mummy the hardest ever!”
“That doesn’t help.”
“Shh!” Felix placed a finger against his own lips, before scrambling onto the crate he’d placed nearby for this very purpose. It didn’t matter that Dominic was giving him a very dubious, very wary look. His hands set firmly on his waist, Felix let the breeze ruffle his clothes and hair dramatically.
“I shall help you!” This didn’t quite have the desired effect on his not-so-captive audience. Dominic simply raised a brow at the hyperactive child.
“That’s…nice, Felix, but I’m sure I could just – “
“No! Say no more!” Felix lept from the box, stumbling a little on his landing. He straightened, grinning manically. “Leave everything to me!”
Now Dominic was really worried.
- - - -
He knew which book store Vyvian usually went to, and finding a book was relatively easy. The storekeeper, who reminded Felix of a sweating pig in a skirt, assured them that it was a new import from Argonia and, considering that the pirates were going anywhere but the capitol, it was bound to be one she hadn’t read. That and the title, ‘Surviving political upheavals and how to take advantage of them’, sounded somewhat intelligent.
“The Captain has to have been given books before though.” Chase commented, eyeing he book suspiciously. He obviously hadn’t forgotten the politics lecture Vyvian had given him earlier that month.
“Well duh she has.” Felix had magically procured a toffee apple from…somewhere. That ‘No eating’ sign in the store had been giving him the itches. “ Mummy’s a book-bug, everyone knows that. S’why we’re going to do something special! Something so special, so cunning, that we’re going to need crackers to go with it!”
“Crackers?”
“’Course. I got hungry thinking it up. Now, Dom-dom, think of something so icky, yucky and sissy that only girls could like.”
“Aah…” He had to think a moment. Girly? “Babies?”
“Ewwww! We’re not getting Mummy a baby! They’re all messy!” Felix had a point there. Chase couldn’t imagine Vyvian with a squalling child.
“…flowers?” For some reason, Chase felt that this wasn’t going to work. Unfortunately, the look on Felix’s face told him he’d just picked the correct door. “There’s no way Dominic will give the captain flowers.”
“Ah, but that’s the cunning part,” A smug grin had found its way onto Felix’s face. “We’re going to put the flowers in the book!”
Chase glanced dubiously at the book in his hand. “In the book? Wouldn’t it be easier to just forge a note or something?”
“Nuh-uh! Totally gotta be flowers, Cha-Cha!” Felix appeared distracted by his toffee apple, which was now completely devoid of toffee, and tossed it into the drain in disgust. “Dom-Dom always does girly stuff like that.”
“He does?” That cranky red-head?
“Sure!” Felix glanced around a moment to see if anyone was watching, before pilfering a handful of petunias from a nearby window box. Flashing Chase a grin, he crammed the purple blooms into the book at various intervals, stems and all. By the time the child was done it looked as if ‘Surviving political upheavals and how to take advantage of them’ had decided that someone’s garden would make a nice snack.
“Ah…I think you did it wrong.” Chase hazarded, prodding at a broken stem that was pointing in his direction.
“Nah, it’s meant to be quick and easy. See, see, see! Because DomDom's supposed to be trying to contain his super deep love and passion and mushy-gushy stuff on the inside that he doesn't have 'nuff time to make it all super neat! Andandand Mommy'll totally like it! Psh. Like we’d ever manage to mess it up.” Felix waved it off, shoving the book beneath his arm. “Now we go and find paper and ribbony stuff. Make it pretty!”
- - - -
He had to admit, it was a good idea until the flowers. Felix insisted that there was no way he could have known that those flowers would stain the pages, though Chase could have hazarded a guess. The two of them had crowded the captain’s window, much like they had with their first plan, to watch a hesitant looking Dominic present Vyvian with her birthday gift. Vyvian looked surprised – “She totally wasn’t expecting anything, I asked her” Felix whispered – and made short work of the wrapping paper. Somehow managing to not rip the paper, Vyvian even folded the pretty wrapping into neat eighths before actually looking at her gift. There was a pause.“A book on flowers?” She flipped the volume over, prodding gingerly at one of the browning stems.“Aha…no.” Dominic looked rather embarrassed by the whole affair, gently taking the book away from his Captain and flipping through the pages. You could almost see a vein twitching next to his right eye. “Felix…”
Vyvian chuckled. “You know, I’m not surprised.” She took the book back and, opening the window just above Felix and Chase’s heads, emptied the rotting flowers outside. A rain of motley petals fell upon the plotters, and both had to resist the urge to brush them off until Vyvian closed both the windows and curtains.
- - - -
“It’s not working, Cha-cha!” Felix whined, cramming three caramels into this mouth at once. “Mummy loves cocoa, Mummy loves books, but Mummy totally doesn’t love Dom-Dom! It’s so, totally Dom-Dom’s fault!”
Chase was as frustrated as Felix, but had to reach out and ruffle the kid’s hair. Felix’s pout was a mile long, but the rock candy he’d eaten earlier had stained his lips leaving them a plethora of colour. It spoiled the effect. “Maybe we’re trying the wrong things…” He said eventually, dropping his hand – Felix’s hair was officially a mess now - and pulling out Vyvian’s romance novel. “The gifts aren’t working so we’ll have to try something a little stronger.”
He leafed through the flimsy pages for a few moments (it wasn’t a very thick book, after all), before raising aa dark brow at his partner in crime. “Pain and comfort?”
Felix squawked, falling off the barrel he’d been perched on. Scrambling out of the potato sacks he’d fallen into, his expression was one of pure horror. It was almost as bad as when Chase had pointed out to him that Vyvian was a girl and, therefore, had cooties. Vyvian had given him the cold shoulder for weeks afterwards.
“We’re not hurting Mummy, Cha-Cha!” The child all but wailed, looking like he was about to cry. “We just totally – “
“Not the Captain!” Chase said hurriedly, before Felix could get too worked up. The boy sniffled, looking curious now that Vyvian was out of imminent danger.
“So…we get Dom-Dom hurt somehow…”
“And then fetch the Captain to come help him.” Chase finished, proud of himself. Felix smirked, a quite unsettling expression on his childish face.
- - - - -
It was around midday that Felix near flew towards Vyvian, helped along by the rolling deck. It was a stormy day, and waves lapped at the ship’s railings as she made her way towards Termina. It couldn’t have been a better day for them to carry out their not-so-evil plans. Vyvian was talking to the helmswoman when Felix barrelled into her, eyes bright and not looking as panicky as they should in this fabricated situation.
“Mummy! Muuuummy!”
To Vyvian’s credit, she managed to ignore Felix for a full five minutes to finish giving instructions before finally turning to the child. “Felix, I was in the middle of a conversation. Haven’t I told you that it’s rude – “
“’To interrupt people while they’re talking’, I totally know Mummy, but this was so more important!” Felix hopped up and down impatiently, much like he would when really needing the bathroom, to distract himself from the candy-bracelets that were wiggling on his wrists. It would be so easy to just slip one off and bring it to his mouth…but he had a job to do. “Dom-Dom slipped down stairs, and, and, and he got the pointy-fixy-thingy stuck in his tummy! And it’s bleeding and he was all ‘Oh, it’s not too bad’ but it’s bleeding Mummy! And, and, and that pointy-fixy-thingy totally couldn’t have been clean!”
With practised ease, Vyvian had little difficulty understanding the child. Still, she wasn’t looking worried which, in turn, worried Felix. “Why hasn’t he just gone to the sick-bay?”
“He’s hurt Mummy!” The candy-clad child was horrified. Their plan wasn’t working! “You gotta come look!”
In a heartbeat, Felix’s hand had shot out and clasped Vyvian’s and he almost dragged her down the stairs, intent on making their plans work himself, even if Vyvian and Dominic wouldn’t. Ignoring Vyvian’s protests for him to slow down, she didn’t want to trip, he dragged the captain down two flights of stairs and into the hold, where Chase has made sure Dominic would be…impaired.
Only to stop short, Vyvian almost tripping over him. Dominic was there alright, his shirt discarded close by, working on fixing a number of broken crates. At Vyvian and Felix cluttered down the stairs he glanced up, raising a brow, the splinter between his teeth veering to the right.
“Can I help you, Captain?” He looked anything but mortally wounded. This, and the fact that he’d completely ignored Felix, made the boy pout. Before he could complain about this, he felt the tell-tale grip of Vyvian’s fingers in his hair. Uh-oh…
“Felix mentioned you were injured, Dominic. No problems here, I assume?”
“Eh, just a slip up.” Dominic shrugged nonchalantly, pointing down at a small bandaid that decorated his stomach. “The screwdriver got a little slippery, that’s all.”
“Good to hear. Make sure you get that cleaned, though.” And that was it. As Vyvian turned to go, Felix did his best to wiggle out of her vice-like grip on his hair but to no avail. Disheartened, he fell into step and made ready to receive his longest lecture for the month yet.
- - - - -
“That’s it, I so, totally quit, Cha-Cha.” The boy complained later, still rubbing his ear from where Vyvian had tweaked it earlier. “They’re never, ever, ever going to get together!”
“It just doesn’t make sense.” Chase agreed dismally. He’d gone through the entire book now, even the scary rear-end pages, and they’d tried almost everything. With a sigh, he tossed the book onto a nearby bench and ventured to steal one of the muffins Mielle had made earlier that morning. The crazy chef was no-where in sight, so he tossed one to Felix also. “We tried everything in the book, and in here they get together in less than a month. We must be doing something wrong…”
“But if we tried anything and they’re still not making kissy-kissy, perhaps it’s just not…yanno…the totally most awesome match ever?”
“Nah. The Captain and Dominic were made for each other. We’ll get them yet!”
- - - - -
The muffins were half gone by the time the door to the Captain’s cabin creaked open. Vyvian was a private person by nature and always drew her curtains at sunset, and the closed drapes always made the room feel cosier, if you were to ask him. Pressing the door shut behind him and pressing down the lock, green eyes took in the array of lit lamps and paperwork and the bowed, brunette head that met him. She’d obviously been working over the charts for a while.
“You’re late, Dominic.” The captain chided, not even looking up from the map in front of her. Dominic shrugged.
“Couldn’t slip out any earlier. I think the brats may be on to me.”
“Unlikely.” Dominic wasn’t sure just when Vyvian had walked over, he hadn’t even noticed her stand. He wasn’t about to protest though when his captain wrapped her arms around him, her head resting against his chest. “If they knew they wouldn’t have set up that crate this afternoon. How is your stomach, by the way?”
The look in her eyes said that he couldn’t just shrug this one off, so he grimaced theatrically. “It cut me deep, Captain, but I think I’ll make it.”
A soft laugh and a fleeting kiss were his reward, and it was contagious. “You’d better.”
“As you order, Captain.” It was his turn to laugh as she playfully hit his shoulder. “Really, though, should we just tell them? I’d rather not take another screwdriver to the gut.”
“Mm…no.” Vyvian grinned at the red-head’s mortified look. “Not because of that, but I am curious to see what they’ll think of next. We’ll let them have their fun, alright?”
Dominic sighed quietly, pressing his lips to Vyvian’s forehead and knowing he hadn’t the will to argue. “Alright, but if I see any saws coming, I am so ‘fessing up.”
Dominic and Chase are property of Chelsea Rose. No using them without asking her.
Felix is property of Tsukiyohei. No using him without asking him.
Vyvian is, well, mine. You ask me if you really want to use her.
In other news, there are ten different sweet things mentioned in the story. Can you find them all:o
