I am a stranger in this place, is all that I can conclude. After so much thought about my place in life and the direction I might, or must follow, what have I gained? Merely the assumed thought that I am a stranger in this place; because I do not know who I am, I am a stranger.

Quite how I came to this conclusion is unknown I feel. I am not sure why I thought this, or what path brought me to this. Was it desperation, or hopelessness? I do not know. But I know I do not know myself well enough to draw conclusions, and yet I have done just that in declaring myself a stranger to myself. Thought is so confusing I find, so I wish I could stop it. It is like a bad habit that has too strong a hold on you to give up, and you cannot escape it.

The seeds of thought have been planted in my head since my first few precious years on this earth. They have been implanted so deeply that it is no wonder they have established such a good hold over me. I cannot give this up, it is too hard to.

Too hard to not think? I was so sure that I would never find that to be the answer. Always too hard to think instead, but now, it seems, it is too hard to not think, and I am mystified. No further clarity has come from this, simply more confusion.

I am a stranger, and I am confused. An altogether blank discovery, entirely vacant and without much depth and contemplation laid in its foundations, which are weak. And following that concept, that the foundations of this discovery are weak; will I then find that they collapse, and realize a new theory, a new ideology?

Each line of thought brings me to many new doors opened, and still many closed behind it. So many possibilities of where my head will take me, with no knowing which direction I will go in.

Alas, I digress from the initial purpose of my preposterous ramblings. I always digress, always find myself lost and straying from the person I once thought I was. I do not know who I am. I do not even know that I am, as I stated before, confused and a stranger. Am I?

So much uncertainty, so much mystery

I find myself now, in a relentless and continuous circle of uncertainty, confusion, questions; so many questions.

Perhaps then, I am no stranger to myself, yet I still find myself to be ceaselessly strange. Perhaps I am merely confused and uncertain.

I do not yet know the path that my life must trace, nor do I know what changes there may be in the path that I suppose I must follow. I am still doubtful of the path that I have taken to get here, for it has been a long and arduous one already, and it is still only just beginning.

These opinions and judgements on life will do me no good if I merely sit here, contemplating and considering, theorising what my life means, and what I, myself, mean. It is a nuisance to find myself going round and round in my head, always thinking too much, as I do. But sometimes, it can be a joy.

Yet, I still have no ultimately wise conclusion, and I still do not know what caused me to set out on this string of thoughts. I baffle myself sometimes, too often I think.