ANGELIC VOICE

No. 21:

BREAK DOWN

Ace is gone and my car is outside. This is my chance to spend time with Amy. Maybe I can come up with some story about going on a trip or something. Some sort of an excuse, since I highly doubt I’ll be going back to school any time soon. I really want to get some clothes too, but if Eric’s there . . . well, I’ll just haul ass.

Ace will be upset with me if he finds out, which he probably will. I can sense a long night ahead of me when he returns. But again, that’s only if I get caught. I have no idea when he’ll be back but hopefully I get back before he returns.

It’s night out already, the sun has set and there’s almost no one in the road. I take as many short cuts as I can possibly think of to get there faster. After about twenty minutes of driving, Amy’s house comes into sight. Her parents’ car isn’t there and the light in the front room is on.

She’s home alone.

What if Stephen does come? Should I wait for her parents to come back before leaving? Maybe she has one of her other friends over? Well, I can hope.

I pull into the driveway and get out after locking my car. I hesitate before pressing the button for the door bell. When I gather my nerve, convincing myself that Stephen wouldn’t come here, I press on it once and wait for Amy to answer. I wrap my arms around myself, feeling oddly chilled.

My heart thumps harshly in my chest and when Amy opens the door her happy expression is quickly replaced with confusion and concern. I can’t find my voice, so instead I fall forward, unwrapping my arms so that they can wrap around her instead. After a moment of hesitation, she returns my hug, rubbing my back soothingly.

Something’s wrong. I can feel it in my bones, but I can’t identify it.

I’m afraid though.

Why should I be afraid? Is Rose in there? Is Stephen in there?

“Erin? What is it? Is something wrong?”

No more hiding.

I can’t hold it in and keep it from her anymore.

I don’t want to.

“Yes, something’s wrong,” I whisper against her shoulder.

“What is it?”

She lets me go and moves to the side, letting me in the house. I go to sit on the soft cushions of her sofa, dragging one of the pillows in my lap and holding it to my chest. The door shuts and locks and by the time Amy comes back I’m trembling. My head is pounding as the words I can’t say race through my mind rapidly.

Eric’s gone, my brother’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone and I don’t know how to get him back.

“Erin?” Amy sits down in front of me, on the floor, her hands resting on my knees, her thumbs rubbing softly, a comforting gesture. Her eyes are swirling with worry and concern. “Your eyes are red,” she points out softly.

“Sorry,” I laugh a breathless laugh with no feeling. I can’t get the feeling that something’s wrong here, in this place, out of my head. But there’s no one but Amy here with me, I can’t hear any sounds from anyone else and all the other lights are off. It’s just us. I’m safe then. Maybe I’m just afraid to tell her the truth, not the whole truth of course, but enough to where I can get this weight that’s threatening to crush me off my shoulders.

“What it is Erin? Talk to me.” Her eyes look pleading and helpless.

I look down, averting my eyes. I can’t look at her. How can I explain it without involving demons and reincarnation? If I told her all of that she’d put me in a mental hospital.

No.

I don’t believe that she would really do that. I know she won’t. I’m just afraid to let her in, afraid to involve her in this mess.

“My brother . . .” I stop.

How do I go on?

“Eric? What about him? Is he okay? Is he hurt? Or . . . did he hurt you?” She sounds honestly surprised, which I can’t fault her for. The thought of Eric hurting me himself is ridiculous.

Nevertheless, I say, “Yes. He did.”

Amy moves from the floor to sit next to me on the sofa, her hand rubbing my back.

I feel terrible. Eric didn’t hurt me. He’d never do that. He didn’t do anything, but there’s no other way to explain it to her. Not in a way to make her understand. I can’t just say a boy named Stephen took over his body and kissed me so hard it hurt.

“What did he do?”

“He . . .” I bite my lip, wondering what to say, “hit me.” My shoulders sag and I can’t help but think I’ve made a mistake. But I can’t tell her that I got kissed by my brother, she’d be disgusted by us both. Well, no, she wouldn’t be disgusted by me, but I don’t want to see her reaction. Two siblings kissing isn’t exactly accepted and I don’t want to face anything that comes with that.

Amy’s hand freezes.

“Wha—I can’t believe—Eric hit you? Eric?!”

Yeah, if someone told me that I’d be shocked too.

Well no, if someone told me my brother hit them I simply wouldn’t believe them.

I’m about to say something more when the phone rings. I sigh and lean back against the sofa, expecting Amy to answer it. But when she doesn’t move from my side I shoot her a questioning look.

“Er, I’ll . . . be right back?”

Is she looking for permission?

I nod.

I need time to breathe anyway.

She gets up from my side and goes to answer the phone. She doesn’t say anything at first. She looks at the ID before answering, as she always does. Her silence kind of freaks me out though. Finally, she turns away from me and starts mumbling something. It’s so quiet though that I can’t make out what she’s saying.

Giving up on eavesdropping, I close my eyes and tune everything out. When I do, a sudden desire to disappear fills me. My legs are itching to move, to run, but I stay seated.

“Erin?”

“Hmm?” I look back at Amy who is once again sitting at my side. “Who was that on the phone?”

She waves her head dismissively. “It’s just this girl I hang out with sometimes. I was supposed to go to the movies with her but I decided to cancel.” Her eyes become more serious. “So what exactly did Eric do to you? I mean, do you . . . do you have any marks? Any bruises or cuts?”

“I have some marks on my back,” I say, remembering how the fence felt when he kissed me. I’m sure I have some scratches there.

“Your . . . back?” she quirks a questioning eyebrow at me. “Did he hit you with a whip or something?”

“No, not a whip.” I shudder at the thought. “Amy?”

“Yes?”

“Eric’s gone,” my voice breaks at the end.

“Gone? How is he gone? Isn’t he at home? Or did he . . . run away? Is he gone because he hit you?”

I just shake my head.

“No, but he’s not here anymore. Like . . . mentally, you know? He’s not the same Eric. And I don’t want him to be different. I want my Eric. The Eric that I grew up with and gave me hugs when I was sad and laughed when I tripped over my own feet.”

Good times.

Ace had said that it’s up to Stephen. So what, does Eric not get a say in what’s done with his body? Asking Stephen is out of the question, I don’t even want to see him right now, I’m not ready. But I can’t help but hope Eric somehow takes his body back, even if it costs Stephen his soul.

I feel Amy shift next to me. I look over at her only to see her eyes narrowed and her body straight, stiff. It worries me. I push down all the feelings that have to do with Eric and Stephen and turn my body so that I’m facing her, giving her my attention.

“Amy?”

I go to touch her shoulder but the second I do she shifts away from me. I pull back, confused. She was fine just a minute ago. Maybe she can tell I’m not telling her the whole story with Eric or maybe she’s getting that chilly feeling too.

Abruptly, she gets up from the sofa and stands in front of the spot she had been sitting. Her body looks like a statue it’s so still.

“Amy? Are you okay?”

“Do you remember when Jeff died,” she asks suddenly, catching me off guard.

Jeff. Her dead boyfriend.

I can’t answer at first, can’t even find my voice. It’s hard for me to believe she’s said his name out loud like that. She’s never talked about him before. It was always labeled a forbidden topic.

“Shifting uncomfortable, I manage a weak, “Yes. I do.”

“Well I . . . I may have done something very stupid. But I was desperate. I wanted to see him again.” She turns around to face me with tears gathering in her eyes. “I wanted so badly to tell you but I was told not to! But . . .” she whimpers and falls to her feet, crawling towards me and clutching onto my leg. “But you understand, don’t you? It was done for you so you should understand!”

My mouth opens and closes repeatedly.

I understand, but I don’t want to.

“What,” I swallow, trying to will this bad feeling away, “What are you talking about Amy?”

She doesn’t answer and I start when someone starts pounding on the door. My heart starts racing, fear prickling at my skin, turning my blood cold. Already I’m regretting leaving the safety of Ace’s house—I’m still having issues thinking of it as mine.

“Amy,” I squeak when she gets up to answer it. I grab her arm and hold it close to my chest but she just shakes me off.

“I’ll be right back,” she whispers.

“Amyyyy!”

Something in my gut is telling me I’m in danger. I look at the doorway when I hear the door slam and see Amy looking down at me with a sad expression. Who’s at the door?

Rose?

Who?

My eyebrows furrow together when I see that Amy isn’t looking down at me, but rather she’s looking behind me. I freeze when I realize this. I can feel two hands grip my shoulders and my whole body turns to ice. Amy’s leaning against the wall with her arms crossed and her eyes closed.

It’s what she does when she wants to block everything out.

She—I—I can’t believe she’s . . . no. Just no! She’s the one person in my life that’s supposed to remain normal. But her eyes, before she closed them, they were red.

She’s a demon!

“Amy?!”

How did she become a demon?

How long?

She mentioned Jeff . . .

Did she, then did she sell her soul like Ace did?

“Erin,” I feel Stephen’s breath on the nape of my neck as he leans down behind me.

“Amy,” I shout again.

I want answers, but I can’t find the words. All I can do is shout her name, begging her to look at me with my eyes even though I know it’s useless. When she turns her head away from me, I know she won’t help me.

Anger fills me and I rip myself from Stephen’s grasp and run for the door, wanting to get out of here. But before I can make it there, Amy blocks my path, stretching her arms out and looking at me apologetically.

I stop in front of her, resisting the urge to claw her red, demon eyes out, and shoot her the coldest glare I can muster.

Traitor, traitor, traitor!

She’s supposed to be my best friend. She’s supposed to look out for me and have my back.

TRAITOR.

“I’m sorry Erin, but I can’t let you go.”

That’s it? That’s all I get?

I feel the sudden urge to tackle her against the wall and scream at her until my throat becomes raw. But that feeling disappears quickly enough when Stephen wraps his arms around my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder and all I can feel is fear again, and the desperate urge to get away.

His body’s wet and I can hear that it’s raining outside. I look back at him only to have my lips captured, his mouth covering mine and kissing me harshly, right in front of Amy, the person who I was afraid to tell. The irony is enough to leave a bitter taste in my mouth.

Stephen starts dragging me backwards, towards the sofa, easily overpowering my attempts to escape his arms.

No one’s going to save me.

Ace isn’t going to come to save me like he did those other times. Even if he did come back, he doesn’t even know where I am.

I’m thrown back on the sofa and my eyes immediately go back to the door, though first spotting Amy. She’s not standing anymore; she’s on her knees, on the floor, but still in front of the door. That exit’s out. I have to get out of here. I have to go back to where Ace will come back to.

Stephan knocks me out of my thoughts by kissing me and when I pull back he glares at me, though I see pain in his eyes.

But what is he expecting?

When I try to get up from the sofa he pushes me back down. But then he gives me an opening. He starts to take off his shirt and I reach to the table beside us and smash the lamp against the side of his head, knocking him off the sofa.

“Argh!”

Once he’s off me I dash towards the stairs, making my escape.

“Eriiiiiin!” I hear him scream, but nothing in the world can stop me from leaving here. I refuse to get molested by a man who’s taken up residence in my brother’s body.

I can hear him scrambling up the stairs after me and I run into Amy’s room, slamming the door behind me and locking it. I jump back with a shriek when Stephen starts pounding on the door, the knob jingling as he tries to open it. It’s a good thing he’s not a demon too or I’d be totally screwed.

“Erin! Open the door!”

I dig my fingers in my hair and shake my head, backing away from the door. He’ll break it down soon, I know. Sniffing, I turn around to Amy’s window and quickly unlock it, opening it. It sticks a bit halfway but I manage to get it up all the way.

Too jittery to be careful, I clumsily climb out the window and it’s all I can do not to slip and fall. It’s slippery from the rain, it’s pouring outside, the sheets of rain drenching me quickly. I slide down as far as I can without falling off completely, my feet touching the rain gutters, which is full of leaves and water. I manage to shift to my left, where the driveway is and where my car is parked. The pounding of Amy’s door is a distant noise that I block out of my head as I make my way over. I can jump and land on the roof of my car, it isn’t that far a jump from here.

“Erin!”

I look back at the window to see Stephen’s head peeking out. The second he sees me he runs back, no doubt to go out the front door and catch me.

My heart starts pounding against my chest painfully as I become panicked. I’m scared, but I can’t afford to freeze up again. He’s human, I can make it to my car before him, he won’t magically appear and beat me there.

The second I get to the edge of the roof I leap towards the roof of my car. When I land on the car I fall to my knees, my legs sting a bit but it’s bearable. I slip off my car as quickly as I can, almost falling on the cement, and dig in my pocket, getting out my key and jamming it in, twisting it and unlocking the door. At this time, Stephen’s out of the house and coming at me. He startles me by pounding on the window, screaming for me to unlock the passenger’s door.

Instead, I lock my door and quickly start the car. I slam on the gas and my tires squeak loudly as I back up and pull into the road.

I’m safe now.

Even as the thought passes through me, I can’t stop my body from shaking, can’t calm my breathing.

Four blocks later I manage to slow the car down, not wanting to get pulled over. The streets are almost eerily empty but the roads aren’t that busy in these neighborhoods, what with no stores and only homes. Swallowing, I make a turn to go to my house, my hands trembling as I do.

I’ll go home, get some clothes and then go back to the house where Ace will be. When I get there, I won’t leave again.

-

-

I don't waste any time when I get to my house. I don’t park in the driveway but along the curve, half on the grass, I’m not planning on staying long. If my parents decide to suddenly start caring I’ll ignore them and push past them if I have to. I run up the wooden stairs to the porch of my house and go for the knob.

Locked.

Well isn't that just perfect?

Frustrated, I dig into my pocket for my house key and when I find it, I fumble with the lock. I’m about to open the door when I hear a scream that makes me freeze and my blood turn to ice.

Is that mom?

Did Stephen beat me here somehow?

Or is Rose?

Am I really so noble that I’ll risk my life for my parents who I don't even really like?

“Oh my God!”

The voice screams again. It isn't my mother’s voice. I know that voice but in my current state, I can't recognize it. I can't just leave though, this is my home. What if the voice is someone who came looking for me and died because of it? I can't let someone die because of me. I don't want anyone to die because of me.

Not again.

I twist the door knob and slam the door open. I hurry into the living room and stop when I see Camellia, my brother’s girlfriend, on the floor, her face buried in her hands, her whole body seeming to be vibrating.

“Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god,” she keeps screaming over and over again.

Did Stephen call her here?

But why?

I walk up to her and place a hand on her shoulder. She flinches and screams—loudly—at the contact. She turns her head to me so fast I’m surprised it didn’t snap, though she does fall back on her butt from the sudden change of position. She looks terrified. I want so badly to reach out to her and hug her but the second the thought passes I notice what's on her, the reason why she’s so terrified and freaked out.

There as blood all over her.

It’s smeared on her hands, her face, and her clothes.

“Th-the-they w-were li-like that when I ca-came in,” she stuttered. “I-I tr-tri-ed to he-help the-them b-but—but—”

She has it bad.

If I weren’t so shocked myself I would pat her back and offer some form of comfort. But my eyes are already moving. I look over and gag when I see my parents’ bodies, torn apart right in front of me. Their limbs are severed and their heads are gone, hanging from the ceiling like some sort of sick decoration, dried up blood chunks in their knotty hair that’s looped around a hook someone jammed up there, the blood dripping down onto the already stained carpet.

That’s when the smell reaches me, the smell of blood. It makes me feel sick and dizzy and I soon find myself on my knees gasping for air as I vomit. I feel even more nauseous than when Jared kissed me. Tears form in my eyes as I suck in greedy amounts of air between vomiting, which isn’t helping since the air is thick with the stench of my parents’ corpses.

My stomach feels tight and I’m sure there’s nothing left for me to give, all I can hear other than myself are Camellia’s sobs and the rain pounding against the windows from outside.

Then, my eyes roll to the back of my head and I fall to the side, narrowly avoiding my vomit as I black out.