And So The Foundation Begins to Crack

It’s sad, it really is, when you mark the moment that something inside of you dies. You know exactly how it happened, and all the events that led up to it, but you’re not willing to actually acknowledge that part. These things happen “for a reason”, you remind yourself.

Yeah, and being teased for so long by classmates was supposed to happen for a reason, too. Get real; that’s just a way for teachers and “mentors” to boost your pathetic self-esteem. Bill Gates would be nowhere if he hadn’t been stuffed inside lockers, right?

Wrong. Chances are he still would have made it big.

Say for example you’ve got a best friend. Well, you had a best friend. But for the past few years things have been drifting. Maybe you’re moving, maybe they’re moving, maybe you both are moving.

Neither of you can bear to acknowledge that moment in time when the move will actually occur, so you both ignore it. In turn, you end up ignoring each other, and that’s when a part of you chokes and dies.

You don’t mean to do it. It just happens. Things change, right? That’s what the world is all about-change. You know how all the songs go, how we’re always “waiting on the world to change”.

Then there’s the whole part where you both try not to ignore each other anymore. When you know that you should be savoring the last moments you’ll get to be friends before you both move on.

That’s the worst time in any relationship, whether it be friendly, romantic, or familial. It’s the time where you have both already moved on, but now you’re both trying so vainly to stick together. That can’t happen, however, when you both have already moved on. It’s a slow, painful stage in every single relationship you will have that ends at some point, unless you cut it off savagely and quickly.

Things like that won’t happen to me, you tell yourself. You and your best friend are better than that. More mature and refined. Well you’re a cruel and heartless monster if you think you can end a relationship without even trying to salvage it.

You promise yourself you won’t cry when your friend finds a new best friend. But you cry anyway when you’re alone and it’s been a bad day and you want to call your best friend up, but you can’t because they’re off having a grand old time with new people. Likewise, you will have a couple of missed calls from your old best friend when you’re off with your own constants.

You promise you’ll be happy just like they are, because if they’re happy then clearly the relationship you both shared wasn’t important enough to affect the other one for life. You’ll get over it, just like they did.

And somewhere on the other side of the town, the state, the country, the continent, or the world…somewhere over there, your friend is telling themselves the same exact thing. The communication between you two died the second the realization happened, the notion that you would have to separate.

So now you know. It’s truly sad when you know the exact moment when something inside of you dies. It’s like a brick to the head, or a bullet to the heart; so fast and effective that you conclude it’s totally incomprehensible. It’s a lost cause, you and your friend. You’ve both already acknowledged the death of your ties, so why try saving it?

Oh, you’ll try. You will try for a few months, perhaps a few years. But…unless both of you are especially determined, you will both be lost to each other forevermore.