Ok Sarah- Here is your story as promised. Please enjoy. Next chapter will be up soon for all my stories. Yays. Anyway-REVIEW! Thank you.

Sometime in the 1700’s (Before the American Revolution)

Xavier Lordy sat in his private Jacuzzi overlooking the oceanfront of his private island resort and spa of Canadia. It was a nice island, and people would pay thousands to stay on it. Life was amazing for him. He had fortune, peace, and countless friends. He had no idea how it could possibly get better. Yay for him.

Yawning, he got out of the Jacuzzi and headed back to his private mansion. Once he got inside, he put on his most prized possession- a Tutu he had received from Santa Clause for Christmas. He only took it off when he went into his Jacuzzi, and was seen wearing it everywhere else. He was skinny, and an amazing dancer. It, surprisingly, flattered him very nicely. Plus- it was pink and puffy. The sun was setting, and he gave it one last look before shutting the curtains. Checking the time, he realized he only had two minutes before the karaoke bar opened. Wanting to belt out a few, he ran as fast as he could out of his house and to the resort.

Little did he know that his whole life was about to change. Nothing would ever be the same again.

Captain Josiah Torchwood was famished. He had been traveling all over the world for years in search of the Magical Tutu of Nakajima. You see, many years before he took up his life as a really awesome Sea Captain, he had been an archaeologist. On one of his many Indiana Jones like adventures (because every archaeologist travels all over the world, carries a whip, nearly gets flattened by a large rolling rock, discovers the holy grail, fights Nazis, and gets the sexy sidekick), he had stumbled upon the enchanted wand of Machu Pichu. Being a good archaeologist, he went to his local library to find out more about it.

Apparently, it was part of a set created by King Norrington of Frillyland. The wand, combined with the awesome power of the Tutu, gave the owner an amazing fairy costume and eternal youth. Seeing the trouble it may cause, Norrington had them separated and placed on different sides of the earth. The problem was, even separated they had powers. The wand was like any wand- it did all sorts of magic spells. The Tutu made you an amazing, Broadway worthy dancer and also gave you the ability to fly. (This story isn’t far fetched, is it?) Wanting all the power, Torchwood joined the Navy and learned all that nautical stuff. Once his term was up, he bought a ship and has been traveling ever since.

He finally ran out of supplies, and had not figured out how to conjure more on the wand. Desperate, he searched for any island he could possibly find. The one he stumbles upon is Canadia. After tying the boat to the dock, he began to climb the stairs to the resort.

“Wow,” he said, mesmerized. “This place is gorgeous.” He started walking to the main lobby, when someone crashed into him from behind. They both toppled over and landed on the hard concrete pathway.
Once the pain from the impact had worn off, he looked at his ‘attacker’. It was a young man with a fancy powdered wig (1700’s people!), a nice tan, beautiful eyes, and…A Pink Puffy Tutu. But it was not just any Pink Puffy Tutu. Gasping in amazement, he realized that it was the Magical Tutu of Nakajima! Obsessing for something for many years can make someone a little loopy, and seeing it before him really made him snap.

Before Lordy could do anything, Torchwood jumped on top him and tried to pull the Tutu off. Any passer by would find this very awkward- especially in the 1700’s. Lordy pushed him off and managed to stand up.

“What the bloody hell is wrong with you?” he screamed.

“Give me the Tutu,” Torchwood replied harshly.

“No. It is my most prized possession. Even if I was to give it away, I would not give it to a psycho like you. Now get off my island!”

Suddenly, Torchwood reached inside his naval coat and pulled out his magic wand. Pointing it right between the eyes like Lord Voldemort did at some point in his life, Torchwood shouted, “I am not kidding! I have searched years for that Tutu. Give it to me. Please? Or I will have to kill you.”

“NO!”

“YES!”

“NO!”

“YES!”

This went on for many minutes, until Lordy grabbed Torchwood’s arm and knocked the wand right out of his hand. They both dived for it, and Torchwood got to it first. Lordy dove on top of him and began punching him in the face. In defense, Torchwood began banging the wand on top of Lordy’s head. Sparks sprang out, and every time the wand collided with his head, he changed into a different animal. Monkey, Tiger, Turtle, Llama, ect. Realizing that every hit made him worse for wear, he stopped and just began punching him(who at the moment was an orangutan).

Suddenly a huge flash of light appeared out of nowhere and a mysterious figure began to materialize right in front of them. Once the light died down, Torchwood could see that it was none other than the Easter Bunny. Shocked, he pushed the primate in a Tutu off of him and stood up. The Bunny held up his paw and transformed Lordy back to normal. He then created a force field between the two of them.

“What is going on here?” he asked them.

“This crazy sailor is trying to steal my Tutu!” Lordy shouted angrily.

“This Tutu is the Magical Tutu of Nakajima!!! I have been searching for it for years! I need it. Make him give it to me! Please?” Torchwood retorted.

“Silence!” The Bunny commanded. The two shut up and bowed their heads. “I will take the Tutu and the wand now if you don’t mind.” Obviously they did, but the Bunny waved his arms a little and the wand and Tutu both flew to him. Lordy was on the verge of tears. Torchwood was just pissed.

“Now, you two are the most annoying people I have ever met. All this stupid fighting over a wooden stick and a dance costume is insane! You two must learn how to get along. I am going to send you both on a wacky, crack fiction worthy adventure through time across the world. You two will travel together, learn to be best friends, and save the world in the far future. Once you do this, you can return back here and regain you possessions. That is all. Have a nice trip, and remember- learn to get along. Now, Be Gone!!!”

With a wave of his paws, the two were suddenly caught in a time warp. After flying at rapid speed through it, they made a sudden turn at some point and began falling. The last thing they remembered before crashing was seeing a giant volcano and hearing a loud roar.

This was the start of one seriously horrible, stupid adventure. God help us all. Or the FSM. Whatever you believe in.

Shalom dudes.