I Was Never Late for This Class

I can do this.

I repeated hat line to myself approximately every 2 point 4 seconds as I drove myself to my first day of college. I nervously fiddled with the radio knobs, but I have no recollection of any song that I heard.

I had been dreaming of going to college ever since I was in primary school. Yes, I am a freak of nature, I know. But there was something about it that always fascinated me. So why was I sweating like a pig at 7:45 on the morning of August 27th as I did nothing but sit in my car? Well, it was around 100 degrees outside already; maybe that had something to do with it. Nope, I’m pretty sure it was because I was ridiculously nervous beyond reason.

But I felt that I had reason to be. I was a commuter student. All throughout the torturous two days of orientation, we had been brainwashed into believing that living on campus was the only way to be a successful college student. I didn’t realize until later that they were just trying to fill up their empty rooms so that they could collect more fees.

Anyway, back to the story at hand. My first experience as a college student. Not one I am likely to forget easily.

My mom had sprung for a priority parking pass, meaning I could park in a gated lot closer to the campus instead of in the huge lot that may or may not have had availabilities and would guarantee an added ten minutes to the commute time, just considering extra walking distance. So I pulled into my priority parking lot and pulled my car into a space just feet away from the building where my first class was held. No lie. It was amazing.

So I was 15 minutes early for my 8 o’clock class. Great. That’s 15 more minutes to have an anxiety attack. Sitting in my car was out of the question; too hot. So I trudged into the building and found my classroom.

Room 307. Easy. Third floor, right? Well, you’d think so. I found the stair and attempted to walk up a couple of flights to the third floor. Except that there was only one flight of stairs. Oh snap! Was I in the wrong building?

Oh wait. I turned, and what did I see? Room 309. Aha! There’s 307 right next door! No one told me that you enter the building onto the second floor! Jeez! Am I supposed to magically know that this building sits on a hill? It was way too early in the day to be giving myself heart attacks already.

I stepped into a mostly empty classroom. There were a few girls sitting in the back of the room and an old guy in the front and center.

Huh? An old guy? Okay, so he wasn’t that old. But well, he kind of was. Compared to me anyway. I was seventeen – practically eighteen as my birthday was the very next day (that’s why I remember the exact date, der) – but this guy had to be in his forties, at least. I wasn’t expecting to see an old guy first thing when I walked into my classroom. But then I thought about it for a second. That was awesome! This guy was going back to college after so many years! Imagine! I could be a college student until I’m old like him!

What the heck? I smiled and said hello to him as I walked by, choosing the seat directly behind him. He smiled and said hello back. My nerves calmed a bit.

This would be easy. I can handle classrooms, teachers, and classmates. Piece of cake.

More students filed into the room around me. I casually checked them out, sizing up those I would be spending a semester with. What can I say about them? They were all pretty normal looking. No one was quite as old as that guy sitting in front of me, but these weren’t babyish high-schoolers either. That thought calmed my nerves even more.

And then he walked in the room.

Time slowed down and I forgot how to breathe as I took in his radiance.

He was average build, average height. But that was all that was average about him. He had gorgeous shiny black hair that was beautifully unkempt, like he’d just rolled out of bed but still somehow managed to look super hot. He wore a black T-shirt, baggy jeans with a chain hanging off of them, and skater shoes. He carried a camouflage messenger bag that was decorated with a ton of patches of random things – band names, cartoon characters, flags, and so forth. To top it all off, he had two cartilage piercings in each ear and an eyebrow ring. Oh, how I am a sucker for eyebrow rings. And skater boys. And this was a skater boy with an eyebrow ring if I ever saw one.

Was I drooling? Quite possibly.

He stopped just a few feet inside the door and looked around the classroom. Please let him be in the right room, I begged to the goddesses of the universe.

Then the most amazing thing happened. He turned and looked directly at me with the most amazing blue-gray eyes I have ever seen.

So much for not being nervous anymore. But it gets better.

He nodded – you know, that typically guy head nod thing they always do – and said, “Hey.”

I’m not kidding. The cutest guy to ever grace my presence actually said that to me.

Well, he may have been talking to that old guy in front of me, but I can pretend like he actually said it to me.

I quietly said, “Hey,” back to him, just in case. If he didn’t hear me, that’s okay. If he did, that’s okay too. Either way I would feel like a complete goofus.

“This is English eleven hundred, right?” he asked. Old guy and I both nodded.

He continued walking across the front of the room, checking out the rest of the class. I wondered where he would sit. Hopefully next to me. No! Not next to me! I didn’t need to become an idiot in my first college class just because some unearthly gorgeous hottie sat down next to me.

But then he stopped at the font of the room.

And set his bag down on the teacher’s desk.

WHAT?

Okay, that had to be a joke. Maybe he needed to get something out of his bag before he chose a seat in the room. Yeah, that’s it. He was currently reaching into his bag for something – probably his MP3 player so that he could slack off during class.

Nope. He pulled out a stack of papers and placed them on the desk.

What the heck is going on? Hunky skater boy just put a stack of papers on the teacher’s desk! Is he passing out fliers or something? Do people normally do that in college classrooms? I was so confused.

Skater boy stood at the front of the room at the teacher’s desk for a few more minutes, glancing around at the last few students slipping into the classroom. He hoisted himself up onto the desk and sat there. Yes, he just sat on the teacher’s desk like he owned the place.

Old guy in front of me turned around in his desk and gave me a questioning look, which I returned. Obviously, he thought this situation was as odd as I did, but for different reasons, I’m sure.

I sat perfectly still in my own desk, waiting for the real teacher to come into the room and tell this smartass to get off the desk and sit somewhere with the rest of the lowly students.

But it never happened. A few minutes after eight, Skater boy picked up his stack of papers and addressed the class. “Well, this is English eleven hundred. Writing composition. Is everyone in the right place?”

No one said anything or got up to leave, so we assumed everyone was where they were supposed to be.

“Okay, then,” Skater boy said, pleased that no one would be embarrassed that hour. “My name’s Kyle. I’m an English grad student, and I’ll be teaching this class this semester.” He stood up with his stack of papers and began dispersing them around the room. “Here’s your syllabus for this class.”

There was some general murmuring around the classroom as Skater boy – I mean, Kyle – passed out the syllabus packets. I wasn’t the only one who thought this guy was way too young – and way too hot – to be teaching us.

The guy in front of me turned around again and whispered, “I knew I was going to feel old, but this is ridiculous.”

I giggled and took a syllabus.

My nerves were completely gone at this point. And they remained calm until Kyle dismissed the class forty-five minutes later. I left the classroom contentedly, smiling widely to myself. A young hottie for a teacher. With an eyebrow ring.

And that was just my first class!

College was going to be awesome!

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Author’s Note: Stupid story I thought I would write up and share. Completely based on an autobiographical true story. Sadly, this is the most interesting college story I have.

Thanks for reading!