The Ballad of a Simple Sample

Some people are so boring,

To the extent that I start snoring,

Poor old me,

To have the company,

Of those too tedious,

To do anything arduous.

Let me tell you of an example,

It is merely a simple sample,

There was a tallish lass,

She only cared for looks and mass,

All day, all night,

With all her might,

She’d exercise without excuse,

Even if she’d drank only orange juice,

Then she’d put on a million chemicals,

This together could burn strong metals,

Subsequently, she’d peer into her apparel,

And pick some clothes out of her barrel.

Then,

A time would come when the moon was blue,

Infrequently, that much I can say is true,

She would realise the existence of others,

And notice her sisters and brothers.

Alas, this would not last that long,

And the lass would think this deed as wrong,

Unfortunate family to have such a member,

It had been occurring as long as they’d remember,

Many decades they say had past,

And a girl in purple they see at last,

The family stand and blink in wonder,

Who is this most unwanted stranger?

Can it be?

Oh can it be?

Is it possible that she has returned?

Rather than burned,

As we had thought,

Or was it merely a story bought?

Though joy did not strike as answers dawned,

For it was for she who they had for years mourned!

To cause so much grief and pain,

She had left a permanent stain,

Look what you did you monster!

Then they pointed at her elder sister,

She lay in a coffin,

The lass was laughing,

What a joke,

Where’s the coke?

The mother got angry beyond wrath,

And sent her on the Dead Men’s Path!

So with this I conclude,

That I warn you not to be rude,

You will find yourself killing,

The people who are unwilling,

Dying from boredom isn’t pretty,

I just hope it doesn’t happen to your kitty!

What a lame ending, I know,

But I don’t have more words to throw,

And my hand is hurting,

And this pen has started incisive jerking!

Damn, I’m bored…