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Four Years Is Not Enough to Rid the Pain

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I coughed, and my manager, Tanaka-san, looked at me worriedly. “Are you feeling alright?” she said in perfect Japanese. I nodded. “I’m just a tad bit tired, that’s all. No need to fret over a little cough,” I told her reassuringly. She looked skeptical, as always when it came to matters of my health. “Maybe we should cancel the interview.”

I shook my head. “No way. We have canceled three in the past month. If we keep doing it, no one will buy my music. I don’t want to be known as the girl with two albums in four years.” She walked away after nodding to do whatever it was she did before interviews. I sat in a foldable chair and sipped my water, leaning back against the wall and thinking. Lately ratings had been going down. People were buying less and less f my music. It was all because some big shot male model named Junpei Hirotake decided to forcibly ask me out. I turned him down and ended up punching him for trying to feel me up. They got it on camera, unfortunately. Now I’m known as a man-hater. Just because I don’t date doesn’t make me a man-hater, does it? But after what I did, I deserve it.

I haven’t gone out with anyone since Zander, and that was four years ago. I just could not bring myself to say yes to any guy. My hands are tied, what with LJS Corp n the midst of taking over yet another company, my singing career taking flight, and family matters.

Zander may have left me, but he gave me something special in the form of two wonderful children. Naturally, they are twins, almost four years old, and are the sweetest things since chocolate. Their names are Haruhi and Tamaki. I know, I know, highly unoriginal, but I absolutely adore those names. My kids are so nice, bilingual and biracial. I’m not trying to perfect the human race or anything, but it just happened when I began to ramble off in different languages.

Sorry. Bad habit. But anyway, although neither of the two inherited their father’s attitude problems, Haruhi has her father’s sparkling blue eyes and raven locks, while Tamaki looks like me when I had blonde hair and brown eyes. They have what I call Pandora Tonks Syndrome, since their hair and eye color keeps changing. When they were born, Tamaki had red hair and yellow eyes, and Haruhi had purple hair and green eyes. The nurse thought they were demons and quit her job. It’s not their fault she couldn’t handle it.

“Mitsuki-chan!” called Tanaka-san. I looked up. “You’re on in five minutes. Are you ready?” Was I? Was I ready for her to start talking about how sales were going down and how my agency was talking about dumping me like a week old rancid tuna melt that had been stowed underneath a bed?

“As ready as I’ll ever be!” I called out, standing up to stretch. “You sure I don’t look like a hooker?” I gestured to my purple halter and denim miniskirt. I felt like a hooker, especially with the makeup. I tapped my boots, pulled out a compact and checked my face. Yup, I was definitely a hooker. And what’s worse was that I looked like a hooker who catered to clowns that liked little boys a little too much. I hasted to wipe off the makeup. I was definitely going to kill whoever put this on me.

The interview with Madoka Yue started out fine. We laughed and talked about my life and my new CD, which was in English. But then she had to dredge up the Junpei incident. She even showed pictures of me giving him a shiner. Why was it that everywhere I went, someone nagged me about it? Even some of my college classmates went on about how handsome and smart the guy was, and how stupid I was to have turned him down. Well, he was an arrogant ignoramus with a pig’ behind for a head. Unfortunately, no one but I could see that the dick was above the horse, not under it.

“So, do you have a secret love,” Madoka-san was saying, “or are you truly a man-hater as they say?”

I fidgeted with my water, unsure of a reply that would not cost me my career. “Um, well, you see,” I started, glancing around at the audience nervously. They were all eying me for a response. “I got out of a very bad relationship a while back, and I’m just not ready for another guy. My ex and I loved each other.” I still do, I thought sadly. Then I perked up, saying, “Who knows? I may find a guy. I mean, I’m only nineteen.”

“Well, are you excited about touring with the American band, Jaided Fury?” she asked. A picture of the four bandmates was shown on the screen. I swallowed, instantly recognizing them. “Do you like their music?”

“Of course. I listen to them all the time. They play really well.” It was the truth, which surprised me. I expected myself to scream and freak out about going on tour with my brother’s band like a groupie looking for a lay, but I remained as cool as ice.

I was calm, until I reached home and invited Tanaka-san in. Then I blew a fuse. “Are you insane? I can’t tour with my brother’s band! It’s my brother’s band! I mean-it’s like-what am I supposed to say to Zander when I see him? ‘Hey Addy, what’s up? Do you have a girlfriend because if you do I’m gonna kill her. When’s your next album coming out? By the way, I’d like you to meet your kids Haruhi and Tamaki, whom you already know about yet have neglected?!’ Is that what I’m supposed to say?” I was on the verge of a serious mental breakdown.

“You could start with ‘hello’,” came a deep voice from behind me. I turned at the sound and grinned sheepishly. “Hey, Pearce.”

“Kiki,” he said. I groaned. “Don’t call me that,” I pointed out.

“It’s either that or Miki,” he said, talking about the personal nickname Zander had given me. I frowned. No one but him was allowed to call me that. “Fine.” I gave him a hug. “How have you been? Your tattoo heal yet?”

He shook his head. “Not yet. It’s a pretty big dragon.” He had gotten a bigger tattoo for his twentieth birthday, like I had gotten my belly button, nose, and ears pierced for my eighteenth. We were starting a family tradition. Of course, I was not going to tell him that I had gotten a tattoo of a dolphin family on lower back, right above the hem of my miniskirt last January. He would flip for sure, just like he did when he found out that I had gotten married and impregnated by his best friend and fellow bandmate. His reaction was better than I knew Parker’s would be, which is why Pearce was sworn to secrecy. Only he and my girls knew. Not even my family (other than my sisters, Beth, Seona, and Laine, and Peter, of course) knew. And that was how it was going to stay.

“So,” I said, regarding him carefully, “who planned this whole escapade? I know Zander wouldn’t.”

“Parker, Patton, and I did, that’s who. And everyone else. You and Z need to let go of the past. It’s been four years; you both need to grown up like mature adults, get married again with family present, and stop beating around the goddamn fucking bush!”

I slapped him on the arm with his tattoo, making him wince. “No swearing.” Even now, I did not condone it. “When do I leave?”

“Don’t you mean, when do you three leave? Tama and Haru are going with us. We leave tomorrow.” He dodged a kick to his side as I growled. “We leave tomorrow? Are you insane?” (Insane is my new favorite word, by the way.) “I can’t just go back. Give me formal notice before you extradite me, dipwad.”

“If I did,” said Pearce calmly, “you would refuse. This is the only way. Besides, don’t you want to ride your baby?”

Get your mind out of the gutter, you perverted howler monkeys and go back to your harems and fornicate like mad.

I tossed my raven locks. He was talking about my 1960 Chevy Impala Convertible. It was a dark sky blue beauty with whitewall tires. It also has accessory fender skirts, bumper guards, dual rear radio antennas, and a continental kit for the spare tire. It was so awesome. And it had four seats, too. That way I could haul around my kids.

“Ugh. Fine. I’ll go, but I will not make any promises that I will be civil towards Zander in any way. Now, I have t go pack.”

“It’s already been done. Suki packed everything you guys will need. I asked them if they wanted to go, but they said they want to stay with your grandmother,” said Pearce. “She doesn’t want to leave, either, so I guess that means you’re stuck with me and the kids on the private jet.”

“When did you guys get a private jet?”

“When we became big, now c’mon, we have work to do. Peter and Mojo are here and we are going to make sure you don’t kill yourself before we get there.” He dragged me off. “Mojo says she’s going to fix your look because your stylist is a man-stealer jealous that you get guys asking you out by being yourself while she wears a truckload of gunky makeup and gives ganguro girls a bad name.”

I rolled my eyes. “Mojo and I are ganguro girls-well, I was until my hair turned brown and hers turned bubblegum pink. She’s still one at heart, though. Or better yet, she’s her own species of Mojo.”

We entered my bedroom where Peter and Mojo were sitting with the kids. Like Pearce, Peter still looked the same as he did the last time we had seen each other. “Hey guys.”

They both stood up at the same time, but Mojo reached me first. “Kiki! What’s shakin’ bacon?”

“Nothin’ much, Hutch!” I replied. I stepped back to get a good look at her. Gone was the pink hair. Now her mid-back length locks were blue with gold streaks. Her eyes had pastel makeup around them, and her lips were white. She wore black mini shorts with black and white checkered suspenders over a green and orange tie-dyed top that showed her flat and semi-muscled stomach and the tattoo of a flaming green bunny she had gotten just above her hip for her nineteen birthday. Her socks were knee-highs with two black strips at the top. She held up a pair of platform sneakers. I grinned. “Nice outfit,” I complimented her.

She grinned. “You like? Pearce thinks it’s a little over the top.” Yeah, they are together now, and have been for a year, three months, five days, and seventeen hours. Amazing how they aren’t sick of each other, with him being a killjoy and her being as wild as Pluto on a sugar high.

“Pearce is an idiot. You look fabulous,” I said. I knelt down and plucked my kids from the ground. “So we leave tomorrow, huh? How long will we be staying?”

“Well, there’s this party for Zander’s birthday, and then there’s your birthday and the twins’ birthday, as well as Lalaine, so you’ll be back in Salt Lake until February but by then it’s Beth’s birthday, so you’ll leave around late February,” said Peter. “And don’t forget the concert.”

I nodded. “I guess that would be nice.” To Mojo, I said, “How’s your second year of college?” Since I had gotten pregnant at fifteen during the school year, I had to drop out and get homeschooled using Keystone, so I was finished by the time Tamaki and Haruhi were born. Then it was off to Tokyo University, so now I’m a junior, like my brothers.

“It’s so S and C. I mean, who cares about this stuff anyway? It’s pointless. You only use it when you’re a big business entrepreneur,” Mojo complained. She looked ticked off for a second, and then she gave me an evil look. Oh…crap.

Before I could run, she had jumped on me and successfully pinned me to the hardwood floor, grinning devilishly from above me. “Now, just where do you think you are going, hmm?” she asked me.

I swallowed. “Um, nowhere?” It came out more of a question than a statement.

“Well, Pete and I are going to fix you up. Zander won’t even recognize you when you see him.” She led me away kicking and screaming.

“Just a bit more blush,” Mojo said happily, smearing on some light pink powder. “And…fini,” she said. I rolled my eyes skyward. “All right then. Today is the big day. Are you ready to go home?” I stood up from the chair and brushed myself off. “No, I’m nit ready, but I have to be. I can no longer run away from this. I have to go home and face the music.” I turned to her. “Do you think I’m ready, Mojo?”

She stared at me for a moment before nodding. “Yes, I know you are more than ready.”

At the front door, she said she would wait for us in the car so we could have time to say goodbye. For the longest time, while Tamaki and Haruhi were saying their farewells to Saki and Yuri, I stood silently in front of my grandmother. Neither of us wanted to say goodbye now that we had found each other. “It’ll only be for a couple of months, and then we’ll come right back,” I said, feeling the horrible clot in my throat. She nodded curtly, almost harshly, her hands in the sleeves of her blue kimono.

Suddenly, my arms were wrapped around her in a tight embrace. “I’m going to miss you, Grandma,” I whispered. “And I, too, will miss you, child. Stay safe for me, and behave yourself.” She hugged me back just as hard.

“I will. We all will. I promise.” We released each other, and I bent down to retrieve our bags. I nodded at my family, turned around, and walked out the door and left them behind. I held my head high for some unknown reason.

Around three hours later we were all on the private jet for the band Jaided Fury and flying over Asia. Even though they could only see clouds, Tamaki and Haruhi were excitedly peering out of the windows and clapping. At least they were having fun. I, on the other hand, sat stock still in my leather chair, my nails digging crescent-shaped marks into the armrests. I had felt bad about leaving everyone behind four years ago, but now I was feeling even worse because I would have to explain myself to my parents and my brothers, who knew nothing about how I have been except for the letters I sent to them. They knew nothing about Tama and Haru, and I felt bad.

I felt even worse about my confrontation-to-be with Zander.

Oh…crap. I was so dead when he found out I was back. What was I going to do? How would he really react to seeing me? Would he hate me or forgive me? My money was on him hating me, because I really could not see him forgiving me.

Fishing around in my pocket, I pulled out a bottle of sleeping pills given to me by my doctor for my insomnia. Lately I have had trouble sleeping, like something is bothering me but I have no idea what it is. I would probably be knocked out for a while, but if it got me to finally sleep since yesterday I would take it.

When I awoke, I was in the backseat of my car, you know, my baby, with my children on either side of me. I groaned, and Peter looked back at me from the rearview mirror. “Hey, Sleeping Beauty, you’ve been unconscious since Japan. How are you feeling?”

I let out a gurgling grumble and tried to get my eyes to open. Wearily, I stretched my stiff limbs. “Am I home? Are we home?” I mumbled, not caring if he could understand me or not. He grinned. “We’re almost there. Don’t worry. Relax.” I nodded and rolled to the side, resting my head on Haruhi’s carseat.

I looked up as we passed through the gates of Blackfield Manor. I smiled and sat up fully. The grass around us was green and freshly cut, the tennis courts were cleaned, and so was the pool; we even had a garden just like the one my mother had before she died. We parked at the garage beside his car and I stepped over my kids to get out. My smile widened as I took in the fresh air. It was almost Zander’s birthday; I could always tell by the smell of the air. It always smelled like apple pie on his birthday. I picked up Haruhi while Peter grabbed Tamaki and set him down on his feet.

“Your sisters knew you were coming, so they hired some help to make this place look nice,” Peter was explaining as I pulled our bags out from the trunk and walked around to the front of the house. He fished out the key from a potted plant and opened the door and led us inside. Inside the manor was a dream. The electricity was working, lighting up the foyer. Everything was in place. “Uh, they wanted me to tell you that everything is where it was. There’s food in the fridge, and call if you need anything. I’ll see you tonight,” said Peter, backing out the door with a slight wave and a kiss on the cheek.

I was too busy reminiscing with the house that I didn’t register what he had said until I heard his car roar to life. I bolted out the door and down the steps, watching as he sped down the path to the gate. “Wait! Peter! What’s happening tonight?!” I screamed.

“You’ll see,” was all he called out as he turned and the gate snapped closed behind him. You’ll see. You’ll see. You’ll see. What the flippin’ pizza did he mean? What was I going to see?

No more than five minutes later, Tanaka-san, who was going to stay in a hotel even though she was invited to stay at my house, called to tell me that I would be meeting the band Jaided Fury for dinner, so I should dress in, well, a dress. Then she hung up on me.

I stared at the phone, numb. I was going to dinner with my ex-husband’s band.

Tonight.

In a dress and heels.

Dinner.

Tonight with my ex.

Why was I only registering ‘dinner with my ex tonight’?

That’s when I realized: I was going to dinner with Jaided Fury, made up of Parker Tomley, Pearce Tomley, Patton Tomley, and Zander Addy, my ex.

I’ve said a million times that I don’t condone swearing, but now was an appropriate time to say this:

Oh…shit.

I needed a bubble bath.

Now.

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LovelyxXxDreams: Well, here’s chapter one. Enjoy.

Hazelnut-Romance: If I can think of a decent ending, there will be.

Deenu12: I’ll do my best.

Hppppp: I’m glad you enjoyed Asunaro Ginga.

Hpppp: No, I’ll probably start a new one. It all depends. I think it would be easier to keep track that way.

Ladalada: Yeah, that’s true.

RunFree: It seems like everyone is saying this.

Lady R: I hope you enjoy the chapters to come.

Alsynn: loltz, I know. They weren’t even married for a full day.

Simplyerickah: Well, if you liked that, you won’t believe what’ll happen in the sequel.

Silly-girl13: In my mind, I had already thought and decided on making a sequel, but I just didn’t know if I would put it up.

Xchocolatemintx: Yay! That makes over ten people who want a sequel.

Xenn: Thank you for reading.

SO-iiN-LOVE: I tend to like tragic romances, as long as there is a god ending.

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