chapter three: Dear Collin,

I got out of Petsha’s safely, but Jeremy ... I waited three hours outside of the place before deciding to give up. Coinsidentally as I walked away giggling and shouting from the opening door of the restraunt. Jeremy was there, stumbling out fixing his hair and zipping his pants. His shirt had multiple rips, and any exposed skin had lipstick and bite marks only inches apart from one another as well as some blood.

I grabbed Jeremy and pulled him along smacking him upside his head and yelled “What the hell were you doing in there? I was waiting three hours out here worrying and you come out like this!”

Jeremy didn’t argue, but he grinned as wide as he could. I scoffed at his abnormal reaction and hoped he wasn’t on any drug at this moment. As we made our way down the streets we got common stares from pedestrians and drivers alike (some cars even slowed down to gape their mouths). At the time, also, I couldn’t imagine why they were staring besides Jeremy’s unholy attire and ... well, I didn’t think it looked awkward that I was holding his ear and dragging him about. I was bearly half his height and a person would think I did that to him?

I felt better after leaving Petsha’s but still curious about the place. There was an Opium room, and a whatever-happened-to-Jeremy-room. For this, I was slightly pissy and went to the one place where there was absolutely nothing to worry about: Collin’s house. Okay, so it wasn’t a house, more like ... a run down appartment near a part that was said to be haunted in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s. Overall, it was a two bed-roomed place, really small and maybe four pieces of furniture (bed, couch, table, beanie-lounge chair), but that didn’t bug me. The reason we went over there was ...

“So you want me to interrogate Jerry-boy?” Collin flipped his short golden-blond hair behind his ear and leered. “What about? Why? Who? ... Oh, silly me, that’s the stuff I’m going to be asking Jerry-boy.” He set his hand on his hip and leaned his bony thigh forward in an exterme attempt to look gay. And it worked. Really well.

Jeremy seemed to be in a funny dreamy state ... or high, so coming to Collin who was “honorably discharged” (an army term that Collin suited his situation) from his college and was studying Law, he’d always been good at things related to that. He had an especially infamous reputation for getting information from anyone at anytime he wanted.

Jeremy sat down on the two piece couch and stared around indifferntly, his eyes fluttery. Collin sat down in front of him, his first move.

“So, Jerry-boy ... what the fuck have you been up to, huh? Punk? Mother fucker think you’re so hot all trippy-hippy ignoring me and poor Jade over here. Have some respect, you faggot! Do I have to take out my knife or are we gonna have to play dirty?” Collin screamed putting both his hands on Jeremy’s knees ... some sort of homosexual intimidation? The knife was Collin’s nice way of saying “Please tell us everything you know!”

“Uhh ...” Jeremy drooled, literally.

Collin quickly pulled out a switchblade from his pocket and held it to Jeremy’s neck and pressed it slightly still holding one hand on Jeremy’s knee. “Tell me now or I swear to every fucking god I’ll slice you open like a morgue’s bitch.”

Jeremy blinked several times before looking serious. He looked nervously down at Collin. “Umm...”

“You’re going to have to do better than that, fucker!” Collin screamed louder now, like a maniac about to pounce! his voice was on edge of a squeak.

“Dude, I’m gonna piss myself if you don’t put that --” Jeremy finally snapped out of it, but Collin didn’t take it as enough.

“That’s not my answer, Jerry-boy. The question is what were you doing while Jade was waiting for you outside the place and why hadn’t you come out after she did? Why’d you leave her? Why did she wait three whole hours for your faggot-ass?”

You’d never think he’d cuss so much by glancing at him, I thought. But when he gets going ...

Jeremy flinched and then I noticed small beads of sweat accumulating in his face.

“Answer,” was all Collin said, his head low, probably giving that scary look to Jeremy.

“There were a bunch of hot animal chicks, and we had awesome sex. Now, dude, put the knife --”

Collin moved his slender hand quickly pointing the sharp end directly at Jeremy’s crotch. He wouldn’t! ... Would he?

“And -- and, we, I -- we split up because the place was so bigandIdidn’tknowwhichwastogoand...” Jeremy’s words were so rushed I could almost not understand him. “And-- I ended up in this room with these really hot chicks and they gave me free drinks and the -- you know, were like ‘hey, wanna fuck?’ and I was like ‘yes, please’ -- And then we did and -- Come on! Put the knife away, man!!”

I think Jeremy was about to actually wiz himself. I took my seat on the floor and watched patiently wishing I had some Swedish Fish for the show.

“Jaaade!” He moaned moving to the back of the seat trying to avoid the blade. “Make him stop!”

“Nah,” I sighed. “There’s always Collin-ic-consequences for orgies, jerk.” I waved innocently and glad we were here and appreciative that Collin was actually home, he was a busy guy (to say the least).

He whined out in an extremely failing wail.

“Don’t complain. Your fault for leaving my poor Jade in the dust. Got anything else to say, punk?”

Jeremy gulped loud enough so that I could hear it, his lips quivered as he said ... “I have to piss.”

Collin took the knife away from Jeremy’s crotch and pointed to the right. “Go,” is all he said.

Jeremy took this opurtunity and made a quick sprint to the bathroom slamming the door and then there was a click noise.

Collin stood up and folded his blade and stuck it back in his pocket. “Anything else I can do for you, kiddle?”

I shook my head and stood up, “No, but thanks. You don’t have anything to do today?” I asked referring to any of his many jobs.

“Nope. I told everyone I’m taking today off -- heh, lucky you! I’m glad you guys came over today, I didn’t wanna play the anti-social.” And he smiled.

I smiled in return, hearing the bathroom door slam and then silence ... and then “What the hell!?”

Both Collin and I looked at the bathroom door, Jeremy rushed out, tripping over himself pulling down his pants and yelling “Look what they did, man!”

My eyes bulged. I think. He was wearing Hello Kitty breifs -- Oh, that wasn't the point. But the pink and white contrasted so ... so femininely. I felt jealous until I looked at the acutal problem.

Collin remained interested.

“Having a zombonic special I see...” was all Collin whispered, making up a new word. I'd have to ask what that meant later.

“Dude, my thigh is turning blue and black and all weird and peel-y, and it looks like something from The Mummy,” Jeresy said pointing at it not daring to touch it.

“We should probably get you to the hos--” Jeremy fell over unconscious as Collin spoke, “--pital. I’m driving, aren’t I?”

I nodded.

“Grab some gloves, I don’t know what that is, but you’d better not touch it.”

Collin stood up promptly and attentitively looked down at Jeremy. He nodded his head as saying “Grab him and let's go.”