A Life in the day

Lana Baker

--

She is a 16-years-old, turning 17 in June, and has just got married to 31 year old Jamal due to a semi-arranged marriage in the end of last year. She’s in her first year of college and is coping with being a dutiful wife while society judges her unusual marriage.

I find it hard to believe that I have my own house after sharing one with a family of 9 including me

‘I wake with a shock to the presence next to me on the bed, then a wave of reality hits me and I remember “I’m married”. I’m still not used to the idea that I, a student in their first year of college has married so early. I go about doing everything as usual on a study day except that instead of making breakfast by and for myself, my husband helps. Sometimes when I’m alone in the house I look back at my simple but complicated life and I find it surreal that just a few weeks ago I used to wake up to the noise of my four brothers and two sisters.

I leave the house between 7:30 and 8am depending whether my husband goes to work early or not. I like spending time with him as he is an experienced person in a business department working as a marketing director in some sort of Technology Company. I like business and take it as one of my subjects in college, and having an older husband whose work is linked with business gives me an extra boost compared to the other students in the class.

The bus ride to college is the best time to contemplate what to cook after I get home, as there are no girls that I know on the bus who will pester me about trivial things in my new life. Forty five minutes is more than enough time for me to decide on a dish that we haven’t eaten in a while or to think up something special for a change.

I used to enjoy going to college as it’s more of a challenge then staying at home bored, but as I got married a few months into my first year of studies, my feeling’s towards studying has changed and it’s not as much of a challenge as keeping up a sophisticated conversation with a business man.

In college everything is normal apart from the odd look and pointing every now and then from the people who have just heard the latest news. My friends always look at me with not-so-subtly hidden curiosity as to how I really feel towards the whole marriage thing, not to mention he is twice my age. Gossip about my marriage to a man so senior to me varies from the sublime (e.g. he is as old as my dad) to the ridiculous (e.g. he’s got a son my age).

My first class always starts at 8:45, my three subjects which consist of business studies, maths and I.C.T, are mainly course work which limits my classes to the maximum of 5 hours a day and the rest has to be done at home in my own time. I like it that way, my husband and I like to compromise, I do some of his paper work because I find it a good way to practice and he has less work to do that way, while he helps with primary information for my coursework.

The short hours in college are very helpful in my new life as a married woman. Many people including teachers always ask me if I find it hard to act like a responsible wife and at the same time a hard working student. My answer is always the same- I don’t regret being married, my husband understands that I’m still a teenage girl growing up and he doesn’t pressure me to act in any way but my age.

I eat my lunch in school then take a bus back home. I find it hard to believe that I have my very own house after sharing one with a family of nine including me. I usually get home at 1pm.

Growing up in a boy free zone – except for family members’ of course- I didn’t have any relationship with anyone before, and when my parents thought I was grown enough to meet some of the suitors, I was terrified. I dismissed quite a few of them after I got the courage to tell them I didn’t like them. After I met Jamal, I found him suitable in so many ways and liked him despite the age difference. Many people didn’t believe me and thought that I went for his looks or was trying to be controversial and attention seeking. I try to ignore them and console my self by the idea that at least now I can distinguish who my true friends are.

The kitchen to me is a friend that I go to, to sooth and calm me when I feel distressed. I feel secure in it from all the stares and backbiting of all the people that I used to know as friends. I never had problems making friends, and although many people who claim to be my friends approach me, I have learned to not trust anyone because the only conversation they seem to want to have is about my husband.

I live in a very warm and cosy bungalow which fits to the mat sitting on the door step stating: Home Sweet Home. Because I still count as a newly wed I have to dress up for my husband everyday, so when I first get home I go to my bedroom and choose the outfit I’m going to wear that day but don’t wear it yet- I don’t want to smell like garlic and spices when he gets home. Cooking is something as natural to me as talking, I learnt from a very young age so that I could help my mother with the big family we have. I still find it hard to remember that I have to cook a small meal instead of a large family meal of 9 people!

I like my home to always be tidy, Jamal isn’t used to a house being so clean, and having rented houses with other guys for years he comments that I’m “a neat freak”. He knows what it feels like to have conversations with people older than you because of his job, so he always tries to lighten our chats with jokes, at times I don’t even feel like I’m speaking to a 31-year-old.

After I make sure everything is in place I set the table, put a suitable channel that I would watch if I had the time or if he comes in he will think I was watching then go and wear the chosen outfit for the day. He’s usually back at around 4pm and that’s just the right time for me to get everything ready including the bit of house work. When we finish eating we do all the “school work” for my college and his job that is needed so that we can enjoy the rest of the day without worrying about anything.

I like taking walks at dusk and if the weather allows it we go walking at nigh as well. In the weekends we take it in turns to choose what to do in the afternoons. I like going for long drives in the countryside, the fresh and cool night air there makes me feel carefree and every time it’s my turn to choose he knows where to go without me mentioning it.

At 10:30pm we sit and watch a business program that gives tips from other people’s mistakes on how to keep a business running. After that we flick it on anything else that is interesting or start debating on what we have already watched. Sometimes it leads us to talk about the future, and that leads to us arguing.

I want to be a business woman when I grow up, he doesn’t mind as long as I care for any children we might have. I know where he’s coming from but I believe that it’s hard to balance a job, especially if its business, with children. He thinks that if that’s the case, I should pursue another career. We settle it by saying “we’ll deal with it when it comes”.

I go to sleep at midnight on most nights and even if it’s late for a school night I have gotten used to it and bask in the freedom of being responsible for my own home.’