“Lily, you have to do this. If it doesn’t work, then, just tell my parents that I love them, and stay strong Lily. I have faith in you.” His hand quivered in mine and I saw the blood slowly oozing from his chest.

“Neilan, I can’t do this. What if you die? No, we’ll just wait for the paramedics to arrive.” I held his hand, his cold shaking hand. He stared deeply with his amber eyes into mine and gasped for a breath. I could feel him fading.

“Lily, you’re my best friend. You have to know they won’t make it in time. If you do this, I may have a chance. Just pull the barbed fence post out quickly.” Neilan licked his lips and took a deep breath,” Lily, you’re ready.” With his other hand he pushed my raven black hair behind my ear and then placed my hand upon the barbed wire post. I felt nauseous when I saw him wince in pain just by the gentle way I touched the post. I inhaled quick and nodded. The skeletal trees surrounding us filled me with disdain. I felt my heart soften under his gaze.

“Ok, Neilan, ok…I’m going to do it.” I whispered. He smiled weakly.

“That’s my girl,” Neilan said. He clenched my hand tight and I could feel the coldness and fear in how he did so.

“One,” His voice cracked. I wrapped my fingers around the metal post.

“Two,” he gasped cringing. I felt my tears splashing onto my lap and gripped the barbed wire so tightly I felt the barbs digging into my hand. I had a bad feeling, but as I stared into Neilan’s eyes and saw the incessant trust sparkling up at me, I gulped and exhaled.

“Three.”

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“I present to you, class, our new student: Lillian-Danae Stevens.” I stood at the head of the class, looking at the faces of my new classmates. They seemed uninterested and criminally scornful of my presence. The teacher, a blonde jubilant woman wearing a pink skirt and a yellow blouse, smiled happily. She was apparently a young teacher, and not quite used to the high school teenagers here.

“Do you have a nick name?” She asked with a bubbly tone.

“No.” My reply was brief and despondent. My dark hair hung long and straight, like a black frame around an old black and white photo. The result of my appearance was a classroom full of judgmental people who wanted nothing to do with someone who looked like me. But I could care less. I didn’t like them either.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Well, let’s call you Lily then for short. That’s a pretty nickname, I do believe.” I shot the smiling teacher a look so wicked it could have evoked her own death.

“My name is Lillian-Danae.” Without looking at the students or the teacher, I walked directly towards the empty seat in the back of the room, next to the window. I plopped my gray-blue bag under the desk and sat down. I glared forward at the chalkboard. I felt the dozens of eyes watching me and it seemed to only fuel my detestation for everything. Finally, the teacher recomposed herself and began to lecture the class about quadratic equations and algebra. Eventually, the students left me alone and paid acute attention to the lecture. Amongst the sound of scribbling pens on paper, I heard my heart racing. Amongst the papers reluctantly ripping from their notebooks, I felt my heart tearing from my body. I laid my head down on the desk and let the tears fall down.

I ate lunch alone that day. By myself, I sat at a gray green table on a seat like concrete and munched on a green apple. I finished it in seven minutes and I used the rest of my time to think and to ignore the continuous stream of staring students. Of course, the only thing I could think about was Neilan. It was all I could ever think of. The crash, the barbed-wire fence and the abrupt death of my best friend surrounded by the screaming sirens of the paramedic vehicles that were too late…

“Just tell my parents I love them…. You’re ready, Lily…Three.” I shook my head, I felt the tears coming again. I remembered it all as if it were yesterday instead of three months and four days ago.

I gripped the barbed-wire post and on three, I pulled it out. Just like Neilan asked me to. Blood suddenly gushed everywhere and Neilan’s smile turned into a silent scream as his body convulsed and shook violently. I was screaming and crying I was trying to stop the bleeding. I grabbed his hands, his cold hands. But he was going…

“Hey, are you all right? You look really pale,” asked a young boy. He was a tall boy with brown hair and blue eyes. He carried a book in one hand and his small rectangular glasses in the other. He had a very concerned expression on his face. I looked up at him, realized I was breathing hard and answered in a frosty tone.

“I’m fine. Why?” I snapped. This boy was too concerned for his own good. He was wearing a black shirt and navy jeans, which reminded me of Neilan. The boy looked surprised but he had himself a witty response.

“Because you looked pale and you were alone. And you were mumbling to yourself. Do you do that often?”

“I was not mumbling to myself and I’m not pale. Why do you even care anyway?”

He shrugged, “No reason. See you in class.” With that he put his glasses on and began to walk away. Then he turned and said, “I’m Allen.” I watched him go in a curious sort of way. Stupid boy, I thought. He was probably class president or something and wanted to boost his reputation by helping a new kid fit in to the school. It wasn’t going to work with me. I hated this school. I hated that boy. I hated myself.