A/N- These used to be on my profile, but it was starting to get clogged up. New chapters will be added routinely. Reviews are great!

"Who needs Armegeddon when the world has your mother?" - Emily

"CHEESE FRIES, CHEESE CAKE, CHEESE BALLS, ANYTHING WITH CHEESE!?" - Arisa

"Vanessa Carlton OWNS YOU!" Arisa

"Complicated, Complicated, Complicated, EMO!" Emily

"Is there anything I can do for Extra Credit? Questions out of the book? a Poster? Make you a box?" Kendall.

Emily: "You dont love me anymore. (pouts)"
Me: (Laughing Hysterically) "Thats Bullshit and you know it"
Emily: "Your pushing me away"
Me: "Oh suck it up you big baby, You dont have to know everything."

"Stupid bitch was blowin' on her ice cream" Emily

"Did you just die a little bit or what?" Kendall

"hmmm.. struck a nerve there didn't I bitch?"

Me: She told me I was going to hell
Kendall: Id'a been like "see ya there babe!"

"Coach, why are you Cripple?"Emily

"I don't believe in global warming, its cold outside."Stupid girl in Chem.

"we. us you and me, together, the way its supposed to work. we." Emily

"Japan is an Island?" Emily

"You did what and almpost got a pp8?"
"Fucked in class."

Ashley(about crippled girl): She needs to grow legs!
Jess: She HAS Legs!

"First It was Ed, and then Hawkeye, and now the Lesbian from Pokemon" Kris, on her hair.

Emily: Yeah, Cause you stay on your knees a lot Nikyshia.
Kris: (at emily) Yeah, you should know.
OO

Dad: How wide is a plate?
Me: Oo
Mom: wtf, does it matter?
Me: How in the hell is that relevant?
Dad: IM building Cabnets, bitch.

"I had to go to the IV to get a hospital in my foot" Hannah

"Yeeeeahhhhh" Lindsey

"Think about Heath Class Nik, the big 'M' word."Arisa

"It looks like it smells like Christmas, and I cant find it."Stupid Chem Girl.

Mr Pruitt: (at Emily) My God, Id hate to see you at 40, you'll eaither be in a nunnery or have four or five kids and be strung out on crack.
Emily: Does it have to be crack?
Mr P: Oh yeah, I forgot, Conservative White chicks dont use crack. You'll be strung out on Alcohol and Pot.

Daniel: Id tear that ass up
Jess: Litteraly
Me: spits her coke out.

Lee: (in singsong voice): Daddy, daddy, daddy, what color is the skittle daddy?

Marisa: (quoting her dad) Marisa! Marisa! We gotta go Tubing, MARISA! you wont have any friends if you dont go tubing!

"I ripped off my furry balls yesterday" Girl at break.

Josh: I killed a wabbit, I killed a wabbit (pulls on my jacket)
Me: Christ, Josh. What the hell are you doing?
Josh: No, I killed a wabbit, a wabbit not Christ.
Me: Well, Id SAY that its a good thing you didnt kill Christ.
Josh: That would be some shit. I killed a wabbit, I killed a wabbbit, It went hopity hopity, hop, and I went BANG! I killed a wabbit.
Me: Oo
Josh: I stole his carrots..

Emily: We would carve pumpkins, and hold hands, I dunno why, random.
Me, Kris, Rachel: Oo
Emily: Imma stab you in the eye, but ill hold your hand.

Emily: Imma come outta my bra!
Me: (sputters)
Emily: Just shuddup and put it on Fictionpress.

Emily: jhkjh hgjhgHSAGKHG GJHTGSKJh ASHGH gakjhs aHGKJHSagakjsgh k Chelsea, fjhgkhgkhgkjhgkuytgljkh do you know how long its been? jhkgtiuhiuhoiuh jhuyjkh CHELSEA! hjkhkjh jhlkjh k (spazzout)

Emily: He told everyone not to hold my hand because I suck my thumb.
Me, and Chelsea: Awe, id hold your hand.
Emily: I DIDNT suck my thumb! pout

Jess: (to me) hey you got fifty-five cents?
Me: no
Jess: (skipping up the hall) Anyone got fifty-five cents, if you give it to me ill give you a quickie!
Me:(slams herself against the wall, screaming) Wait! Jess Come back!
xD xD xD

"I cant hear you, I have a hearing aid" Bet you cant guess who that was. (chem idiot strikes again)

Ms. Phoenix: What are some examples of Epics in modern English?
Emily: The Night Before Christmas?

Em: Woah, he's Ugly.
Me: He talks like a girl too.
Em: He's also a girl? What?
Kris: Did you guys say something about being against Panties?
xD xD xD xD xDDDD

Jess: Oww shit, I have a button in my ass.

"Korey likes Camels."Kenny and CJ

Teacher: He was disembowled.
Idiot: What. he had his arms ripped off?

"Im God, and god Says.. OW!"Jess

"Fuck your family and hang out with yout friends" Jess

Emily: Its Just a Kidney, At least its not your Heart.
Me: No, you have that indefinately.

Ally: Emily why is your book bag staring at me? Make it stop... I’m not going to ask it nicely again!

Nicole: Fuck me in the ass with a broomstick

Em: (in a false drunken slur) I..im..imma..a.a..rep..pub…ah fuck it..REPUBLICAN!

Em: Gay people can have sex too.
Kris: aaand they DO!

Emily (2-7-08) I love you.
Me: (shocked look) I love you too.

Me: That damn song would make Ronald McDonald Emo.

Kris: (about my raindrop smileys) how.. generic
Me: its rain motha fucka.. what the hell you dissin atmospheric conditional smileys for?

Me: Do you know when SON is supposed to return to me?
Kris: I don't know. I thought you didn't get the n
Me: its still on half the time like it was before the "switch"
Kris: You sure, 'cause Little Bill's on right now. xP
Me: not for mee..
Me: its About a Girl.
Kris:Well,
Kris: I just checked
Kris: And that's definantly Little Bill
Kris: xP
Me: I swear to god its soo not.
Kristehgeek: xD
Me: unless Little Bill went white, and had a surgery or two.

Dursley: (to em) Its a good thing you decided to do that, I wouldnt wanna but you through option B
Emily: and that is?
Dursley: we take your virginity.

Dursley: (to me) This is getting scary, Nikyshia hold me.

Matt: owww kimberly dont pinch me, thats a hate crime! your a racist!

Me: "OF COURSE... THE RAIN... it comes from THE SKY!!!!!!"

Kris: Were you thinking about the stripping?
Me: (blush) mayyybe..

Me: (to Em) Its Probably a bad thing when you make the retards point and laugh..

Me: sorry my muse is a total bitch/whore.. you cant talk to her, cant smile her way, cant touch her, but Daaaamn is she hot. (Ari's a total slutbag)

Me: (at self) staring at the chatbox picture on myspace is NOT going to make her get on.. your not telepathic, or even remotely magnetic for that matter..
you are however, pathetic..
Kris: xD
Me: Kris, why am I yelling at me?

Me: wanna know my theme song right now?
Kris: What?
Me: Shoot my cupid out of the sky
Break off his wings, and gouge out his eyes
And thank him for nothing, 'cause that's all that he gave to me
Your love is my heart disease
Me: Valentines Day disgusts me. Seriously.. WalMarts entrance is the fucking tunnel of love.. its like the energizer bunny threw up, its so pink and blehhh
Kris: xDD
Kris: (quotes Transformers) "Like the itty-bitty energizer bunny from hell, aye?"
Me: yeah, that pukes pink balls up on anybody who even THINKS about getting a smiley face sticker at Wally World.. oh no little boyy, not to day, it'll anger fluffykins.
Kris: xDDD
Me: I hateee you February 14, die, and take Satabunnie with you.

Pheonix: Yeah, well back in the old days, the Romans would make the prostitutes bleach their hair so they would know who they were. I say this with Blonde hair.
Logan: What does California have to say about that?
Pheonix: How much?

Me: Hello, im woods see me, I do woodsy things..

Logan: Nikyshia, girl, im sorry, but your gonna have to be still (hits with fly swatter)

Kidd: (to Zetta, whos shaking her bottled watter to anger the "people" that reside there) you'll hurt them!
Zetta: They made me mad. (shakes harder) ooh look, BIG storm!

Josh: Squeeeeeeeeeak
The rest of class: What the hell/fuck was that?
Phoenix: the battle cry of the rare rondonian loon.
Josh: Im from state road squeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.

Me/Em: Ewwwww OH MY GOD EWWWWW THE KETCHUP!

Guy: Oh git, the gits locked, I cant get my GIT!

Brett: Only on Thursdays..

Brett: Your as straight as the Nile River..

Woman: BUS 109 BUS!!!!! (screeches on in "song")
Me/Em: Kill me now, for the love of GOD.
(2 minutes later)
Woman: BUS 109 BUS!!!
Me/Em: (beats heads againt our hands) God, PLEASE kill me!
(a minute later)
Woman: BUS 109 BUS!!!
Me/Em: Im offically an athiest.
(meanwhile, across the gym)
Chase: What the fuck is she saying? & what the Fuck does it have anything to do with Black History month?
Jess: I Think shes talking about 409...

Jess: Ewwww, the ketchup, it smells like ketchup. The mustard smells like mustard, and the relish smells like relish. Whats going on here, I dont understand. Fucking wonkaian shit.

Jess: Her eyebrows look like the McDonalds arches. Can I get a bigmac? When do you guys open? Do you serve brekfast after ten? What the fuck, TALK TO ME!

Jess: (to josh) Cutter.
Josh: (mumbling) Cunt..
Jess: What did you say to to me?
Jess: (eyebrow girl looks back at us) Nikyshia, McDonalds is looking at me.

Logan: Jewish hotdogs, fresh since 1944!
(PLEASE no one take offense to that.)

"Im serious as a fucking heart attack, ill run that bitch over. Just tie her to a tree first. FLOOR IT! Then kick it into reverse and FLOOR IT into your mother whos tied to the opposite tree!!"Deja.

"im 75 years old, ill do whatever I Goddn please." Ems Grandma. (I wanna meet her now)

Justin: (in foods, during a tornado drill) Im going to eat my goddn biscuit, the fucking tornado can WAIT!
(after the drill)
Justin: Ive just got one fucking question.. why in the hell do we have to be quiet during those things? Im pretttty postive that if a tornadoes here, ITS not going to be quiet!
Mrs P: Its just so we can here if we get further instructions over the intercom.
Justin: Its a fucking tornado, what the hell else can they say? Im on my knees, my heads against a damn brick wall, so incase there going to come on and tell us to kiss our asses goodbye, I dont REALLY see that being neccesary.
Will: Maybe their going to tell us to leave.
Justin: You dumb fuck. Yeah, we're all just just going to get up and RUN in the opposite direction...

Emily P: he said twos company, but threes a party. What do you think I got offered?
Kiddo: seventy-five cents?
xD xD xD

Chrissy: (on tornado drills) I specifically remember in middle school, being hunkered down in the cafeteria, in my floor length choir dress, and the teachers being all like SHUT THE FUCK UP WE'RE DYING!!!