Why does it have to sound horrid?

Am I taking everything she says wrong,

Or does she mean every word?

xxx

I don't know, there's

No perspective, no outside view.

I'm a little too gone to think all this

Through, and get something from it.

xxx

Retreat into myself, ignore everyone

Don't listen, cursed with my hearing.

Each side is wrong, and so very mean.

xxx

They are disappointed,

With each other, themselves...

Us, them...me?

xxx

Am I not learning from my mistakes?

Did I momentarily slip back into

The me I'm with when dad's around?

xxx

Did I not jump back soon enough?

Does my mom know that me?

Does she ignore it?

I can't bury it!

xxx

Overflowing with all of this.

I need something else, to get

Out and away, to somewhere far.

xxx

I would love a place to go, to be...alone.

A time for myself, not sharing or even caring.

xxx

I know that is what I need and want,

Hopefully it will wash away by tomorrow.

When I slip on the school me, and trade this

Worn and used attitude for a new, fun, not stressed one.

xxx

I can hug, and lean on a shoulder, and

Be with them, just forget it all.

Know it's all real, not just me, never alone with them.

A wonderful day, is so common with them.

xxx

In that hall, and now outside.

It brings so much joy and relaxation.

It's so ironic how bad it can be.