Help Yourself

The guys showed up to grab their things Saturday and I was happily the only one in the house. I think it had something to do with the fact that Josh hadn’t expected them to come over.

I opened the door for them and then went back to my room. I wasn’t in any mood to act like I wanted to talk so I didn’t. I sprawled out on my bed sheets and stared at the ceiling. What else was there to do?

I still hadn’t gotten over the look on my mom’s face, or the fact that she’d still not mentioned it to me, Sarah, or Josh.

Something large landed on my bed. I glanced over to see Luke lying next to me.

“What is with you guys and thinking that my bed or my room for that matter has an open invitation?” I asked. I was too distracted to get too hysterical about it.

He just shrugged, and leaned his head against my other pillow. I turned and faced away from him.

The weight on the bed ceased for a moment as I heard him pad across the carpet to the door, then the audible click of the lock and he was back again. That made me a little nervous.

“What did you do that for?”

“No reason.” He found his way back to my bed and lounged out on it again.

“Whatever.”

“So what’s up? You seem like something’s bothering you.”

“Maybe it’s you.” I suggested.

He just laughed.

“Doubt it.” His arrogance was starting to annoy me. Then he leaned in. I could feel his breath on my hair and I temporarily forgot how to form coherent thoughts. “So what is it?”

“Nothing.” I Muttered. Did he really think he was going to get it out of me that easily?

“Hmm.” His arm wrapped around my waist as he pulled me to him, my back meeting his front. “Really?”

This is the closest I’d ever gotten to the male race, and of course when it happened it had to be with someone who considered it child’s play while my heart was speeding up to amazing heights.

“Yes.” I could feel the smile that grazed his lips as he put his nose to my hair.

“You wouldn’t be lying to me would you?”

I didn’t say anything to that, I couldn’t. So this was how girls got themselves in stupid situations. They lost their minds to hormones… yeah hormones and nothing more.

“Come on Chrissie, I thought we were friends?” He sounded more amused than offended. I think I hate him.

“We are I guess.” I shrugged. It took everything I had not to retch myself away from him.

His hand glided itself down my shoulder, then arm, to my hand. His fingers intertwining with mine.

“Then tell…” He said casually.

“Fine… but could you actually keep it too yourself?”

“Yes.” His answer was immediate. “Are you pregnant?” I thrust my elbow into his gut, and even though it hurt a little he laughed it off.

“No… my parents… they’re… divorcing.” I got out.

He was quiet for a minute or two, finally getting the fact that this wasn’t one of those dramatic girl moments and there really was something to be upset about.

“Oh… that sucks.” He finally said.

“Yeah… and she hasn’t told me and my brother and sister yet and I don’t think she plans too.”

“What happened with your dad anyway?” He asked curiously. “You and your brother never mention him or anything.”

“He wanted to move to Florida and work with some band but mom refused to go. He ditched us pretty much.” I told him neutrally. I was not going to get all whiny over this.

“So he left you guys?”

I’d never thought about it like that. I hadn’t realized that I had technically just gotten one of those dads that walk out on his family.

“Yeah I guess.” I whispered.

I could see him staring at our hands as he moved his around and mine followed effortlessly.

“He’s an ass. No use being upset about it. Guys like him are a waste of place; they’re dickheads.” He said.

I turned to face him and pulled my hand from his, he merely took hold of the other one when I was done.

“You have room to talk. You treat girls like crap all the time.” I demanded. I was too irritated to realize how close we were.

“But I would never leave my children behind because I was selfish.” He said casually, still not looking up from our hands. “Your dad was only thinking about himself and once kids come into the picture that’s not an option.”

“So you’re saying you would be with some random girl you knocked up if you had to be?” I asked sarcastically.

“Hell no, but I wouldn’t abandon my kid. It’s not right.” He looked at me then. Right into my eyes and I almost got the urge to kiss him but I shunned it before it could even become a suggestion. “My dad left my mom before I was born. She said he was pretty harsh on her anyway. He always put her down and called her things and stuff. I’m glad he left but… it still gets to me sometimes that he didn’t even care about me enough to stick around till I was born. At least he could call once in a while or write, but whatever.” He admitted. I think that was the most genuine thing I’d ever heard him say.

I wasn’t going to mention the fact that my dad had in fact called. Once to tell me to have a good first day of school and well… didn’t that count for something?

“So in conclusion my dad’s a prick and not worth crying about?”

“You got the gist of it.” He smiled. “And now you have something to throw at me if I ever tell anyone what you said. I only tell secrets about my insecurities to people who will hold my hand.” He said to me in a very dorky girly voice. “But don’t tell anybody.” Then he batted his eyelashes at me and I rolled mine.

So the notorious bad boy had more going for him than his voice and his looks did he? Deep deep down he had personality. Great… I kept reminding myself of the hate.

“I should go.” He commented, not getting up off the bed. “The guys will start to wonder where I ran off too. They get pretty bitchy when we’re late to gigs.”

“Okay.” I begin to pull my hand slowly from his but he jerked me up with him. Our feet moved towards the door but as he went to open it I grabbed his other hand.

“Thanks.” I said shyly and leaned in to kiss his cheek. He stood stock still for a moment and just stared at me with an amused look on his face.

“Anytime.” He returned.

Someone started beating on the door.

“Why the hell is your door locked Chrissie? Are you ignoring me? Hey!” Tad yelled on the other side.

Luke rolled his eyes and mouthed, told you. I dropped his hand and took a step back when he went to open the door and it seemed he… reluctantly did the same with the other.

“I’ll see you Chrissie.” He said. I nodded my head and turned to dive onto my bed.

My head went under a pillow and I hid the blush that was forming on my cheeks… did that really just happen?

“What the hell!” I heard Tad screech as Luke opened my door. “You better not have tried anything with her? Can’t you be around one single girl without hitting on them Luke, dammit?”
He sighed. I could tell it really didn’t bother him.

“Shut up.” Luke said just as casually. “Sorry my abilities drawl in even the most unwilling. I can’t help it it’s these deep blue eyes and chiseled rock hard abs.” He said back. There was no hint of doubt in his voice and the real Luke had returned.

“Whatever.” Tad told him. “You notice that more than any girl does.”

“That’s not what your sister told me last night.” Luke remarked.

“I don’t have a sister.” Tad retorted.

“Then who was that…” Luke ran off as he tried to think of the girl.

“Don’t try too hard, we all know your brain is the most unexercised muscle of your entire body.”

“And we all know the most worked is-”

“Oh shut up!” Tad cut him off.

My weekend sucked and on Monday I didn’t bother to hide it. My mother worked late, Josh invited his friends over and then trusted them millions of times more than he trusted the guys with me. Tom hit on me again and when he grabbed for my hand I may or may not have reflexively hauled off and slapped him across the face so hard there’s a mark there even now as I dropped down into the seat I now occupy. I can see the red all the way over here. Oh and Sarah… didn’t come home at all Friday or Saturday and then stayed in her room all Sunday. Something was seriously wrong with her; my sister was just not the hermit type.

“So.” Luke said sarcastically. “Wonder what happened to Tommy boys face?”

“I slapped him.” I mumbled under my breath and then proceeded to change the topic. “So how was the party Saturday?”

“What did you say?” Asked Rob.

“I said how was the party? Did you guys have fun?”

“Before that.”

“Oh… well…” I bit my lip and tried to laugh. It came out a little hysterically. “It’s actually a funny story.” Tad raised an eyebrow. “You see um… I was kind of in my room and all, finishing Dragons Bait which is a really good book by the way but I doubt any of you would like it because it’s kind of girly and stuff, but maybe I’m wrong and you wou-”

“Chrissie?” Tad hissed.

“Oh yeah right, I was in my room reading and Tom kind of came in and…” I cringed. “Well he started talking to me and he said something about us going on a date so I got up and tried to politely leave but he grabbed my wrist and I kind of just slapped him before I thought about it then ran off to my sisters room before my brother found out.” I closed my eyes and then opened one, staring at Tad.

“So he…” He couldn’t find the words to describe what exactly occurred between me and Tom that made him mad. “Was crossing a line you didn’t want crossed?” He tried.

I can’t blame him for being confused. Really Tom hadn’t done anything to me but… I really don’t like him and I don’t think its right that he keeps trying to go for me.

“He shouldn’t be cornering you like that.” Aiden said. I glanced up at that, he was really strange. One moment he was indifferent and the next he was saying what the rest of us couldn’t put into words.

Luke was surprisingly quiet through this entire conversation. I found out later why that was when he was waiting in his car after school with busted knuckles and chain smoking.

I was supposed to be going home with my brother but I took off towards his car anyway.

“Hey.” I said, breathless. “What’s up?” I wouldn’t have even come over if it wasn’t for the fog wafting out of the open window.

He gave me a glance.

“I’m fucking suspended that’s what’s up.” He said sarcastically and grabbed for another cigarette.

“Why?” I slid into the passenger seat and took the cigarette out of his hand. “Did something happen?”

“Yeah I broke someone’s nose that’s what happened.”

“Okay… why?” I said once again. He sighed and handed over the entire carton before continuing.

“I simply told your brothers little friend that he should pick better girls to hit on. He told me to go to hell and my fist accidently connected with his face. It was very satisfying.”

I stared at him.

“What if I had been lying?” I got out.

“Huh?”

“What if really I’d been… uh…” I thought up the word. “One of those teases and had been totally leading him on and then I just shut off, then like acted like he’d started it and totally slapped him. Or I really didn’t know anything about the mark but just thought it would be-”

“Chrissie shut up.” He sighed. “I trust you, and I’ve seen him hitting on you. Plus I haven’t hit anyone for so long… it was bound to happen sooner or later. Then there’s that little thing… you know the fact that you couldn’t tease someone if your life depended on it.”

“I could so.” I said indignantly. He raised an eyebrow. “Okay so I couldn’t but… whatever!” I got up out of his car and slammed the door. I think that was the most childish I’ve been since first grade.

I stopped halfway to my brother’s car and went back.

“Thanks.” I said through his window. “That was really nice of you.”

“I know.”

“But don’t think I’ll become one of your drooling bimbos because I won’t.”

He shook his like he didn’t believe me.

“In due time.” He read out like a fortune cookie.

I rolled my eyes and went back to Josh. I had to wonder if maybe that was why he was being so nice to me… just to see if he could succeed in getting me to turn into one of his fans. I hope not because I was starting to trust him too, and I didn’t do that easily these days.

Zach was still there when I got home so I bounced my way into the house and went straight to the kitchen. I guess in a way I already knew how the guys were. If left on their own Tad would end up in front of the PS2, Rob would follow with his guitar, Zach would be in the kitchen, Aiden would be outside smoking, and Luke would… find a way to be alone. I’d noticed that a while back. All the guys seemed to hang out with each other all the time. But Luke seemed like he liked having time to himself.

“Hi.” I said as I sat down on the counter I had told Luke and Aiden not to do less than a week ago. “What are you up too?”

“Nothing… just got bored.”

“You won’t be bored for long.” I told him. “Luke got suspended too so you guys can hang out together.” I suggested.

“I wonder how he managed that. The last time he got into a fight the principal told him he’d expel him if he did it again.” He smirked. “So what did he do?”

“He beat up Tom for hitting on me.”

“He did what?” My brother asked just coming in.

“Uh…” I laughed. “Nothing.”

“She said Luke had to take up for her because you didn’t notice your asshole of a friend was bothering her.” Zach informed him.

“Who?” He asked.

“Tom.” I supplied nervously.

Josh’s face turns into a look of anger as he shoves his hands into his pockets and disappears out of the room muttering, I’m assuming, profanities.

“So how do you feel about what went on?” Zach turned to me.

“I… like the fact that he stood up for me and everything but… I don’t think he should have gotten into the fight.” That was true. “There could have been better ways to handle it.”

“Not with Luke there isn’t. That’s how he deals with everything.”

“Oh… I don’t know.” I trailed off.

“Anything else?” He prodded.

“Maybe he just helped to get on my good side you know. I mean he is the type. I don’t want to start trusting him and then see it blow up in my face.”

“I don’t think it’s like that Chris.” I let that one go. “He isn’t used to having someone like you as his friend, one he hasn’t slept with at least once I mean. He may just underestimate you. He thinks girls are needy and can’t take care of themselves and stuff.”

“So you telling me what exactly, that he thinks I’m a wimp and need his protection?”

“Pretty much.”

This was not going well it was just making me mad. Not that it wasn’t far from the truth.

“So either way he doesn’t care about me.”

“Listen Chrissie.” He finally stopped stirring the sauce he had on the table and walked over to me. “Luke’s complicated okay. Like he cares about you but… he can never care about you, you know? See if he cares, that’s just one more person he lets in and… people disappoint you. He cares; he wouldn’t have run those laps for you and then not told you he did it if it wasn’t solely for your benefit would he?”

“He did that?” I asked shocked.

“Yeah.” He told me. “But I didn’t tell you.”

“Oh.” I nodded. “I understand.”

“Good.” He smiled an actually sweet smile and went back to cooking.

“What kind of girl does Luke like?” I said randomly.

“The kind that won’t call in the morning.” He remarked.

“What about you?” I said suggestively. “Am I your type?” I wiggled my eyebrows flirtatiously.

He just laughed.

“How far from the truth you are.” He was still laughing when I left the room. I sure didn’t see what was funny about that.

Pretty much there were two highlights to my day; one, study hall which implied lunch and two, gym because I was in fear of it.

Luke ended up in there more than you’d expect. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he seemed to miss both of his swim practices along with half of his basketball and volleyball which took place Monday and Wednesday and Wednesday and Friday. I have no clue how he managed this but he did.

He actually waved as he jogged past me. How could anyone be fine with running laps for an entire class period with no breaks? It seemed he was really starting to tick off his coaches because they were showing no mercy.

Why would Luke wave at me either? I wasn’t the only thinking that because when I turned around I saw almost everyone staring me with confusion, anger, shock, or something in between.

Nicky smiled her evil I-hate-your-guts smile at me and I knew I was in trouble.

The rest of class I spent trying to dodge the ‘accidental’ balls that came flying at me.

One came close. I was surprised to see Luke block it and throw it so hard back to the guy it made him stumble a little. What was with him anyway?

One minute he was threatening my life and the next he was sticking up for me; him and Zach both. Well at least Zach had ceased with the glares when he started being decent. Luke just switched back and forth like some bipolar moron.

For the last ten minutes I stopped trying to not get hit and watched Luke circle the gym. I would say that I was just that bored or that my eyes had accidently landed on him but… that would have been lies. I was blatantly staring.

He suddenly turned towards me and caught my eye. He half smirked and winked as I turned quickly the other way and bumped into someone.

I almost fell backwards but the grip on my arm kept me standing.

“Wow… sorry about that.” He said. “Didn’t mean to run into you.”

He was the type who went to gym and reacted to it like it was the super bowl or something. I hadn’t seen him do anything the entire time we’ve been in here but play a perfect game.

“No it was my fault… sorry.” I said meekly.

He smiled this really sweet smile and I saw his teeth were perfectly white.

“Your okay.” He told me. “We’ll just forget whose fault it is, cool?”

“Uh, sure.” I smiled.

“Good.” He looked at me for a moment, his shaggy black hair dancing as he moved. What is with me and hot guys I do not know… but I was very okay with it. I mean… uh… anyway. “I’m Travis.” He greeted extending his hand for me to shake.

“I’m Christina.” I returned, quickly taking his hand before I lost my nerve.

He just smiled again. He had a very nice smile, and it helped that Travis was sporting a tight athlete type shirt. It hugged his upper body in all the right places… not that I was staring or anything. To prove my point my face started to take on a very subtle shade of pink as his smile turned into more of a smirk.

“I’ll see you around Christina.” His amber eyes locked with mine and all I could do was nod my head weakly and hurry to the supply room.

The bell had already rung.

I wasn't too sure about this chapter when my brain connected all the pieces of this but I'm was too lazy to rewrite a new one. I don't know if I should have put this in so soon... or even at all. So just so you know none of this means anything. Luke doesn't have a thing for Christina and Christina was just being herself. The reaction would have been the same with anyone.

Tell me if you think I could have done this differently? Give me some ideas... I feel my story ran away with me again, I hate getting cornered.