Abyss

She grabs my wrist. “Stop lying to yourself, you can’t just give up.”

I don’t bother turning to face her, knowing I will see nothing, feel nothing, hear nothing if I don’t reply. “I don’t care.”

The slight breeze brushing against my figure as I stroll through the endless void holds a sigh. Once again, I don’t have to look to know it’s her exasperation voiced. Her grip tightens, firm but not strong enough to wound.

“It doesn’t matter whether or not if you care. You’ll fail, no matter how much you try, you always do. Please just turn back now.”

Ignoring her, I look ahead, then behind and around me. Everywhere appeared alike, shades of obsidian and indigo smudged in an abstract way. The same in any direction, in any place.

“I can and will succeed.”

“You’re arrogant.”

“I know.” My answers to her are always this way now, succinct and to the point.

“Even you know what arrogance truly is.”

“Yes.” This time my voice sounds terse and too abrupt, even by my standards.

Melancholy ruefulness shapes her tone as she tells me, “A mask for cowards, and the perfect disguise for many. Arrogance, simply a word to describe those many having their way of speaking when they can’t deal with themselves let alone others. Once you looked upon those with rightful scorn, knowing you had something to hold on to and hold yourself up to. What happened to that?”

I run, ceaselessly, heedlessly bolting off in any direction but behind, anywhere to avoid her. Each step seems to echo, holding her pleas, her attempts to coax me back. After a while, signs of her disappeared.

No time to relax, I tell myself, still running with an almost feral ferocity. However, I know the more I run, the deeper I reach, she’ll be there more and more, always ready to save me even when I don’t need any angel. Soon, I slow down, reducing my pace to a swift walk, too many questions and too much doubt. Why can’t I face her? Turn around just once, to even see her for the first time. Speak back to her with a valid answer for every excuse she provides.

No, I’m the only one making excuses. It’s unnecessary for me to look back for I know who I’ll see. My past, present, and future; everything that defines me.Only one person possible, myself.

--

This was actually written two years ago, and I deemed it slightly better than the rest, hence why it's even up here.