Who’s ever heard of a mandatory talent show? That’s got to be against some sort of right I have, doesn’t it? The right to not be totally embarrassed in front of the whole class?

I have no talent. I’m serious. What am I suppose to do up there? Breathe well? I can’t sing, can’t dance, baton twirl, eat fire, pull a freaken rabbit out of my hat- Nothing!

I’m completely talentless. If that’s even a word! See, I don’t even know if words are really or not! How can I be forced to preform- for a grade- when I don’t have anything I can do? So think, girl , think, what lame thing can I do well?

Well, I read well. I could bore the class by reading a chapter of a book or something. Now that would go over well, wouldn’t it. “Once upon a time a boy and a girl started to put bread crumbs on the ground so they could remember if they went that way. One down, two down, three down, four down. . .”Oo, intense.

How long do you think it will take me to put the class to sleep. Do you think I’ll get extra credit for that. What if, while everyone is asleep I vanish off the stage. That would go over well now wouldn’t it? Though I might fall asleep myself. I bet no one accomplished that yet! Do you think if I keep reading I could read the whole school day away? Then I wouldn’t have to turn in science homework, yeah right.

Well my teacher thinks that we’ve all got a hidden talent or something, yeah right, he is so wrong. If I’ve got a one it’s hidden so far down it’s never coming up, and it’s certainly not going to sprout up in front of the class. You know, like a pretty little flower, they don’t even grow that fast. A type of bamboo can apparently grow so fast, you can see it. If you sit and stare at it for a few hours. But that is beyond the point. . .

Maybe I’ll just be sick tomorrow . . . and the rest of the week. By the time I get back he’ll have moved on to some other lame assignment! That’s it! I’ll be off the hook. Better yet, I’ll tell him my great aunt or somebody died. I’ll even cry. He’ll have to feel sorry for me then! Though I need to have someone die, to make it more convincing, you see?

Sorry pal, but your going to meet doggy. Wonder how you will get destroyed? Head or butt first? I never saw what you where made on in the inside. Miss Stuffy, you are my new Great Aunt Strutal!

Wait! Maybe you don’t have to go, I think I had a sudden stroke of genius! I can rant! I’ll sit up on the stage, and just rant! It is absolutely brilliant! Maybe bamboo does grow faster than I think. Do you think ranting about bamboo is a good idea?