My head turns to just the right angle showing off my glowing beard. I know all my classmates are jealous, they all wish they were me. I stroke my beard just to give off that effect. People stare at me I know what they’re looking at. I’ve seen people imitate me just to annoy me pretending they have a beard as cool as mine. Humph! You all KNOW how cool mine is and feel inferior. Don’t show your peach fuzz to me, I’ll just show you REAL facial hair; don’t pretend you have what I have because you don’t. My friends, you may dislike my ego, but you know it’s true. I am so much better than you. Hey, that rhymed! My beard is so cool I have to make a poem for it.

I my amazing beard,

I love you more than tuff that’s weird,

You are so cool,

I like pool,

In the light you look orange,

I need a new upper door-hinge.

Oh yeah that was so cool. Almost as cool as my beard, but still nowhere close. I stroke my beard as I strut to my locker. And pick up my books. I know all you eyes are on me and my handsome looks with my amazing beard. Oh yeah. I waltz into class and take my seat stroking my beard a few more times just for good measure. My best friend turns around a puzzled look on her face.

“What are you doing?” she asks. How could she NOT know?! I mean just LOOK at my face! I sigh.

“Rachel, Rachel, Rachel…” I say exasperated, “I’m stroking my AMAZING beard.”

”Ugh, stop that would you! You don’t have one! You’re a GIRL.”