Fall to Pieces

Chapter One - I Looked Away

I woke up lying on top of Derek. My head rested on his bare chest and his arms wrapped securely around me. I got up to pee and brush my teeth. His hold on me tightened and he whispered, "Don't."

"Let go. I need to pee. I'll be back, I promise." This has been a daily routine for both of us. Before we go to work, we would stay in bed and just cuddle. I could tell Derek liked this very much. Much more than sex.

But let's be realistic here, I need to pee and brush my teeth. He'd probably done this before me when I was still sleeping. You know that time in the morning when you wake up and you needed badly to pee? That's where each of us take the time to brush our teeth before doing anything with our mouth - er, change mouth to lips. That's more socially acceptable.

When I came back, Derek was waiting for me. "Come here." His arms were opened and spread awide, ready for me.

I happily obliged and scurried towards him. My head was on top his heart and I could hear its steady beating. He, on the other hand, stroked my hair and pressed soft kisses.

"You know, I can stay like this forever." He said and he lifted my head up so he could look at me. Before I could reply, he turned us over, so he was on top of me. I grinned. Things were about to get hot in here.

And that was what actually happened. He hovered over me for a while. His lips softly touching mine. But that was it, he was teasing me. Before I could even pout, he captured my lips with his. It was the sweetest thing in the world, literally. It was soft and sensual at first. Until I felt his tongue move against mine. He tasted like peppermint. It made me weak and wanting for more. Each of his kisses were different. Each had its own feel and effect. He moved down to my neck, savoring every part of me.

It was my turn. When he stopped to reposition himself comfortably, I took this opportunity to push him back down and straddled him. I stared at him and he stared straight back. A small grin playing on his lips. His hands moving up and down on my arms. His eyes were filled with affection mixed with lust.

I looked at the clock to see how much time we had left. "Crap. It's 7:30. We're gonna be late." I immediately got up and went to the shower. I heard him groan as I closed the door. After an incredibly short shower, I saw Derek already showered and was in front of the bathroom mirror fixing his hair. He was wearing a low ride jeans that was irresistibly sexy. I fought the urge to pounce on him. I needed to get dressed.

I chose a dusty rose colored jacket with a puff sleeves and satin belt which I paired with a cropped tweed pants. Derek looked disapprovingly at me when I emerged from the closet. Lately, he'd been complaining on my sense of fashion.

"Sam, do you have to wear that at work?" He said. Eyeing my outfit with complete distaste.

"What? Don't you like it? Is it horrible?" I asked. Like most girls, I wanted to look good.

He came up to me and hugged me. He was about six inches taller than me. I felt really small without wearing high heels. He sighed and said, "You look good but I don't like it. Men are gonna drool over you and I don't want that."

Touched by his honesty, I tip toed and grabbed his head lower. "You don't have to worry, Derek. I'm yours. Always remember that." I said and kissed him.

He seemed happy with that but there were still traces of uncertainty and worry in his eyes.

After some soft touch of make up, I was ready to go. "Hey, there's a party tonight at Sophie's. You know how she got a new apartment? I think she's having some sort of a celebration or something. Do you want to come?"

"Oh yeah. Rob told me about it." He replied while putting on some shoes. Working as an architect in a company, Derek had to look good. Or at least presentable. Not that he needed to. He was already good looking.

-

Later that night, Derek and I had arrived at the party together. We headed back to the apartment after work to get some rest and change.

"Sam, could you at least wear something less -um, revealing?" I was wearing a black dress that goes up to my knee. It wasn't that slutty. But like I said, Derek had been having issues on what I wear.

"What? Come on, Derek. We've already talked about this." I asked, getting irritated by the moment. This was the way I dressed. He always knew that.

"Yeah. But it's a party. Drunk guys are running around and they'll be hitting on you." He said with a pained expression on his face.

I walked up to him and flung my arms around his neck. "Derek, what's up with you?" I looked straight into his eyes. He hated it. Because whenever I do this, he was under my spell.

"I'm jealous." He said simply but those two words weighed so much. "I hate it when guys stare at you like you are some food to eat." He continued. "I know I'm your boyfriend but I couldn't help but be jealous. It's like.. I want you for myself. I know it may sound selfish but I'm scared that one day another guy might take you away from me."

His eyes were casted down now but my arms were still rounded in his neck. I knew it was hard for him to tell me all of this. Especially because of the fact that he's a guy.

"Derek.." I whispered softly. He didn't look up. So instead I hugged him. We stayed there standing and cuddling - enjoying each other's warmth. He was immobile at first. And then he loosened up and hugged me back.

I heard him sigh. I couldn't tell if it was a sigh of content or a sigh of exasperation. After a couple of minutes, we broke away. I kissed him softly and whispered in his lips, "I'll just go change. Wait for me."

He flashed me a smile as I headed to the closet. I chose a modest looking skirt that goes just above my knee and a halter top. I didn't know if the halter was good for him but that was the best I've got.

He was waiting for me in the living room watching TV. When he noticed my presence, he turned the TV off and stood up to look at me. He stared for like three seconds. And then I saw disapproval flicker in his eyes.

"Don't you have any other dress?" The tone of his voice reflected aggravation and was that disgust? I was expecting him to at least give me credit for changing.

"Derek, you're jealousy is flattering but it gets irritating." I already changed for him. Couldn't he at least appreciate my effort? Or at least pretend?

"Fine." He huffed and grabbed his keys. I followed him out to the elevator. He was in a bad mood and I could feel it radiating off him. But so was I, I was pissed off.

We came across, Jake, who was Derek's roommate. But Jake was dating my supposed to be roommate, Deanne. So Deanne sort of moved to their apartment. And since my apartment was next door to theirs, Derek kind of moved too when we started dating.

Jake smiled brightly at us and we both ignored him. When he got past us, I heard him mutter, "Oops. Trouble in paradise."

-

At the party, Derek stayed behind me as we entered Sophie's brand new apartment. As we walked down towards the living room, I became conscious of the guys staring at me. Derek must have noticed too because he moved closer. He wasn't touching me but I could feel his presence and that was enough to make me feel safe.

I could now see what he was going at. I haven't noticed other guys because I already have Derek. Why would I want to find another one when I had him?

While him on the other hand must had seen guys ogle at me. I understood him now.

"Sam! Derek!" Sophie shrieked when she spotted us.

"Hey, Sophie. Nice apartment you got here." Derek said.

"Thanks. Rob liked it too. Oh crap, I need to go. I am so sorry. The food is running out so I have to make some calls. Just feel comfortable and have fun. See you guys later." When Sophie left, I tried talking to Derek.

"Derek." I called him. I wanted peace. This party would be no fun if we were to continue being like this.

"I get it, Sam. You don't have to tell me." He said coldly and left.

What? What did he mean by that?

I haven't seen Derek since that. I walked around the party talking to some people I know. But I felt unsafe without Derek beside me. It was like I could practically see guys undressing me with their eyes. It felt sick.

I tried looking for him. I wanted to go home. I wasn't feeling well anymore. I needed Derek.

When I finally found him, he was leaning on the kitchen counter with a plastic cup in hand. Standing next to him was a girl, properly dressed or as dressed as a preppy looked. From where I stood, I could see them having fun. I stood there and just watched them enjoy each other's company.

I felt a small tinge of hurt. Derek saw me and I looked away.

-