Once Upon a Time On a Midsummer’s Day

It was a beautiful midsummer’s day in Macchu Picchu in 1864. Iganacio Suarez took his llamas out to the overlook for their morning session of yoga and enchiladas. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, appeared a CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This particular genus of cheese was widely feared, not only for its stinky aroma but also for its fangs. Luckily, they had a drunken master kickboxing llama on their side. Leaping into the air, with its shiny red boots made out of recycled fire hydrants, the kickboxing llama let go a blood-curdling imitation of Pee Wee Herman sneezing into an accordion, which frightened the fanged cheese. Unfortunately, the llama was carried away by the Loch Ness monster and the cheese lurched forward to attack. Right at that moment, a squadron of epileptic mice singing the Namibian national anthem and doing erratic backflips marched onto the plain of Machu Picchu, vowing revenge not only on the fanged cheese but on all dairy products requiring an aging process. In all of the commotion, the Evangelist Christian Church members showed up and darned them all to heck, but its NOT THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For at that moment, the Archangel Dudley Fitzwater descended from a cloud made out of half-melted marshmallows, playing “Duke of Earl” on a harpsichord with frightening and righteous intensity. But then Chuck Norris showed up and challenged them all to a Pokemon duel. Things looked as though they were about to turn ugly, when Hans Christian Pokeypants popped out from behind an imported cactus, gleefully crying out “It’s halftime! Ice cream sundaes for everyone, except those whose last names begin with the letter Q.” All of a sudden everyone stopped and noticed that the llamas had been eating danishes made out of King Arthur’s earwax the entire time and they were watching the battle with great enjoyment. The shepherd reflected sadly that tonight, back in the stables, this would be a night of great flatulence and groaning, and he lamented that he had left his mother’s old World War II gas mask back in her attic in Piscator, New Jersey. They all salsa danced for the rest of eternity while the llamas continued eating disgusting pastries in contentment.

THE END