Finding Myself

Winter. It's always cold in this season in countries where it exists. Footprints marred the surface of the snow that covered the ground and headed in many different directions in the city. Some of the footprints retreated into the towering buildings, others to cars, probably so the people the feet were attached to could go into the warmth. Maybe there were other reasons.

She was making her own boot-size ten footprints, sometimes only to have them mingle with the others that already existed. She wasn't putting any thought into this action, rather just doing it, like everyone else did.

The nineteen-year-old pulled her coat to closer herself so she could block out the cold. She hadn't worn her scarf, her mittens or her hat, which was foolish on her part, considering the temperature. Her pace was quick because of this, but she was still a ways from her destination. She felt like she'd been walking for days, but she knew that wasn't the case.

Surprisingly, there wasn't anyone else in the streets, despite the evidence of footprints and there wasn't anyone around her, at all. She was alone on the sidewalk, which allowed her to walk quickly, but because she walked so quickly, sometimes she stumbled. It wasn't anything serious. She simply lost her footing before continuing.

With no one else around her, it was really quiet; there weren't even any birds or other animals. There were cars everywhere, without drivers and they were all lifeless. She'd even tried her own car earlier, but it wasn't working, either. It was like the battery had died, but the gauge said it was fine. There was gas in the car, so she didn't know why the car wouldn't start and thus why she was walking. She didn't really have another choice.

She had phoned someone to come give her a ride, but her cell was dead and the rest of the telephones didn't work. It was strange and she couldn't explain it. She decided she just needed to get to where she was going. Maybe there someone could tell her what was going on.

The girl stopped for a few minutes to catch her breath, standing on the sidewalk and glancing around. She looked at the buildings and the roads, but there still wasn't anyone there. Her brow furrowed with worry and also because the snow was reflecting from the brightness of the sky, even if it was a grey sky.

The wind blew around her, disturbing her coat and her longer, blond hair. This blond wasn't natural for her hair. She'd actually just dyed it the other day; it was naturally brown. But, as always, people aren't happy with what they have, so they change it. It was the same for her eyes. Naturally, they were a dark blue, but colour contacts made them green.

Without warning, the wind picked up and she braced herself against it, but the wind was too strong for her. It was pushing her through the snow and she was having trouble standing. She strayed from her route to escape and practically ran to the alcove and door of one of the buildings nearest to her and tried to get inside. Unfortunately, the door was locked. She pushed and pulled it, but the door was definitely locked. When she looked through the glass of the door to see if anyone was there, she didn't see anyone.

She stayed with her back to the door and looked out into the street. The snow blew all around to the point that she couldn't see across to the other side. The wind howled loudly before simply stopping. Her fear fell to confusion. The snow, having stopped too, fell to the ground. With caution, she approached the sidewalk again and the wind didn't come back as strong. At little strong, but not as strong.

The first thing she noticed when she got closer was that the footprints were still there, even after all the wind. She crouched to get a better look. Curiousity caused her to touch the snow around the footprints, the snow cold beneath her fingers. The snow moved, which was a relief because she was starting to think everything around her had gone crazy. The snow had moved, but when she looked again, she saw that the prints still hadn't disappeared.

She stood abruptly, as if to get away from it, looking around again. Still, there was no one around her. What was happening?

She started en route for her house again. She wanted to go there now more than ever. There, things would be normal. Well, that was what she thought as she was walking quickly. More quickly than before. The ice made her stumble a few times.

The girl pretty much ran down the streets to get home, her breath coming out in large puffs and hanging in the air before her. One time that she slipped, she went down, falling into the road and landing in a pile of snow.

She let a sigh escape her. As she sat there, uninjured, she looked up at the grey sky; the snow was starting to fall again, little flakes landing on her face. She was breathing heavily since she'd been running and she relaxed there for a few moments, but when the wind started to get stronger again, she stood and started immediately on her way.

When she finally made it home, she shivered with excitement at the prospect of heat once inside. She could turn up the heat as high as she wanted and she wouldn't be cold anymore. If anyone complained, she'd deal with them. Not only that, but she could ask the others what was going on.

She pulled her key out of her pocket. For a second, she had thought that she'd lost it because she couldn't find it, but, it was just in a different pocket and once found she put it in the lock, or rather, she tried. The key barely seemed to fit and then it wouldn't turn. Panicked, she tried again, but she couldn't get in her own home.

She decided to try the other doors of the house; maybe the lock was just frozen, but the others wouldn't open either. She went back to the front door to try again, but she got the same results. The door stayed locked and when she knocked on the door, no one came to open it.

By now, it was all too strange to handle. She didn't understand what going on at all except that she was alone, she was locked out of buildings all together, it was quiet and there were footprints in the snow that didn't go away. She looked again now, just to see if they were still there even with the falling snow. She noticed not only that they were still there, but that there was one set that was deeper than the rest.

At first, she though that they were the ones she'd made on her way to the house, but she soon realized that these prints were leading away from the house, not toward it. The snow landed in the deeper prints, but instead of filling them, the prints were becoming deeper, yet not so deep that she could see the sidewalk.

Impulsively, she decided to follow them. She didn't know why exactly, but she did anyway. Maybe it was because she was frustrated, cold and also a little scared. She didn't want to stay in one place, either, unless it was inside, and she couldn't get there.

Walking quickly yet again, the girl followed the deeper footprints. She wasn't aware where she was going, but they didn't lead her to harm or anything that would endanger her, so she continued to follow.

The footprints brought her to the hospital. She saw them disappear under the doors after she went around an emergency vehicle that was outside. She looked at the ambulance for a moment before making her way to the doors. She looked through the glass of these sliding doors and she sighed since she didn't expect these doors would open, but, just as she was turning away, the doors did slide open.

Stunned, she walked into the hospital, but with worry, too. Why could she go in the hospital, but nowhere else? After she was actually within the building, the doors closed and she could feel the heat of the building around her. Not only that, but she could also hear other people.

Relieved, she wasted no time in running to ask for an explanation of what was happening, but, when she got to the lobby, no one was there. She could still hear the voices, but they sounded far away.

Confused, she looked around the lobby, and there was only the reception desk and chairs for people would wait. These chairs and the desk were empty. There was also a gift shop with flowers and other things for the sick, but there wasn't anyone there. But, she would have sworn that she could hear others.

She started walking down the halls, taking her coat off and hanging it over her arm as she did since she was warming up. She looked for the voices she could hear, but for a long while, the voices continued to be far away.

On the second floor (she'd had to take the stairs), the voices became stronger and she followed them to a room where the door was open. The doors of the other rooms were locked, and even though she heard noise within them, she didn't see anyone. This was the only door that stood open.

Slowly, she pushed open the door, which didn't make a sound and she went in the room. There wasn't a lot of light in the room, like it was almost dark, even though the light from the sky poured in. Shadows seemed to shroud the room.

The shadowed walls were white, like usual for an establishment like that and there were curtains hanging from the ceiling as dividers. The beds were empty and it seemed like no one else was in the room, but she could hear the voices stronger here. They weren't so strong that she could understand them, it was like they were speaking gibberish, really, but she could hear them better.

She approached the bed that was closest to the wall opposite of the door. Her shoes squeaked on the tiled floor as they hadn't been doing elsewhere, but she tried to ignore it and pass it off as nothing significant.

When she saw the last bed, she was shocked to find that it wasn't empty like the others, though she'd initially though it had been. Her coat fell out of her arms and her jaw hung agape. In the bed was someone she knew very well… herself.

Her dyed blonde hair was dishevelled, her skin pale and her eyes were closed. She looked sick with that pale skin and for a moment, she wasn't sure if she was looking at herself or someone else, but there was another sign that would tell her for sure.

Her heart beat quickly and her hands trembled. She pulled back the covers on the person and she saw on her left arm a tattoo of a tabby cat, the same as on her own arm and in the same place. She couldn't pass it off as coincidence. She knew this other person was her, but she didn't know how she'd ended up here in the hospital. And she didn't understand why there were two of her.

She touched the tattoo on the arm of her other self, to see if the other was a real being, and at that moment the world seemed heavier around her and more real. She hadn't realized it, but before the world wasn't as heavy. But, she wasn't cold anymore, so she could ignore the heavy feeling. She also realized that her eyes were closed and that she was exhausted. She was lying down, too, which made her realize that she was in bed and that the voices were strong to the point that they weren't speaking gibberish anymore. She could also hear machines beeping every couple seconds or so.

Slowly, so that the lights wouldn't hurt them, she opened her eyes. The others in the room, there were definitely others in the room, stopped talking when they noticed her and turned their attention to her.

She looked at them with blurred eyes, but she could make out two males and three females. Her boyfriend, her father, her mother, her sister and her best friend; all sitting in chairs at the side of the bed. When they began talking to her, she tried to concentrate on what they were saying and it was very difficult to do so. She heard parts that said she was sick and that she'd collapsed two days ago, which she didn't remember at this point. No matter, she could hear the concern in their voices, but she heard one phrase clearly.

"We're glad to have you back."

She smiled and glanced out the window high up on the wall beside here. Snow fell against a grey sky.

END