Arrivals and Departures…always with rain. Always with Pain.

By oh y'know.that girl

Rain, it beat down hard on my back, soaking my clothes instantly. I looked up at the deep gray sky and thought about him. He always visited on my birthday. I never had the strength to tell him to stop; to say that his constant arrivals and departures hurt…especially when I knew he would leave and that my loneliness would return. Then, just ad I would heal, he’d appear and the poor sap who I’d been sharing a bed with would surrender and walk away leaving me to rest against him in my bed with him, the undefeated visitor.

Today was my birthday. I frowned as I thought of his warm, hard body protecting me from the rain, from any and every pain except the one he inflicted on his with each visit. One thought saddened me the most and it was the simple fact that I loved him.

“Hey,” a voice said.

The guy was handsome, sandy hair, bright eyes and a great smile…too happy…to put together for someone like me. He wasn’t my visitor and I decided I didn’t care, for tonight, he’d simply have to be enough to hold me together.

“Hey,” I smiled coolly, my charm, my charisma sliding easily into my voice. He smiled wider and I stepped under his umbrella.

“What’re you doing out here getting wet?” Umbrella guy asked. I was going to answer when…

“She’s waiting for me,” a smooth voice answered. I shivered at how cold it was. Without a word, Umbrella dude was gone and my visitor was the one holding an umbrella up over us both. He tilted my head up for the familiar greeting but I couldn’t even bear to look at him. I turned my head and he stopped. He was quiet, confused by my refusal.

“I can’t. It hurts. You hurt,” I murmured.

“I won’t leave you. This is only temporary,” he replied.

I nodded and then tentatively, he hugged me. I knew he was lying but I couldn’t deny him anything…or maybe I couldn’t deny myself the feeling of warmth, of safety, of the smallest bit of happiness when I was with him.