Love Therapy: Sometimes, love is pain, love is hurt, and therapy is all one needs for a broken heart. Meet Mandi Ann Li, Miss Hormones.

Chapter One: Adonis and Some Other Greek Hunk

Ever had choices you had to make? Like choosing between two pieces of cake when your fat-encased heart can only take one? Or like when you want to buy a pet-- the cute cocker spaniel or the loyal golden retriever? Sometimes you just want to screw choices and take it all.

Now why can’t life always be like that? Why can’t I just skip choosing and be stuck in a perfect win-win situation? There are these two eye candies in the hospital I’m finishing my clinical internship at-- they are like Adonis and some other hunky Greek God. And I love them both.

I just need to choose which one is going to be my boyfriend.

Yes the boyfriend of Mandi Ann Li.

Unfortunately for me, neither of the boys (or men, I should call them men because they’re both hot doctors, forget Doctor McSteamyCreamyDreamy on that show, Dull Colored Anatomy) know of my existence. After all, I’m just a mere student stuck in a sea of hot nurses in kimono-like uniforms with their perky butts in the air. Seriously why are all these nurses so darn hot? The male nurses here are hot too and they are definitely not into other male nurses if you know what I mean. Which only leaves me with more choices when I step out of my shy shell and wave my arms in the air and shout, Hey hotties, I exist, I’m gonna be called Doctor Li soon, so freak I’m hot too and just one of you marry me and we’ll have cute babies and a nice apartment in uptown NYC. Because with our combined salaries, we can afford to live like Posh Spice.

Alright so maybe not because after taxes, really how much can a physical therapist make? If I marry a surgeon, now that’ll make all the difference. A knee surgery can cost anywhere from like what, five thousand to ten thousand dollars? And it’s so overrated I’ll have to say because I’ve seen knee surgeries. If you can hold a saw and saw off a person’s bone-- alright so you have to cut through skin and fat first and make sure you don’t infect the person and have a slamming lawsuit in your hands the day after because the knee surgery is like death surgery-- then voila, you’ve just replaced a person’s knee! As long as you have a steady hand, some brains, and aren’t squeamish, I’m pretty sure you can pull if off.

I can’t stand blood. I almost fainted during that surgery and had to stand next to my friend who had eyes wide like saucers every time blood squirted upward like a fountain. She had to stand closer and closer to the patient and fill the OR with her oohs and aahs. This girl must be a vampire in disguise I swear or some sick freak-- her favorite movies as I recall are Saw I through IV and five and six because we all know those movies are in production.

So back to boy one and two. Oh excuse me, man one and man two because they‘re in their late twenties. I feel like such a high school student, a silly schoolgirl. Hey I just turned twenty-two, so I’m still young, still hip, right? Right? sniff Doctor Hot Stuff and Doctor Oh So Gorgeous. With their powers combined, they are Captain Sexy! Seriously. The two of them walked in front of me discussing a surgery they were about to perform together on a lady with a brain tumor the size of a peach-- she’s lucky, well not to have the tumor but to have them put their sexy hands on her-- and I think I drooled. I foamed in the mouth like a poodle with rabies. Okay maybe not but I know the capillaries had exploded across my face and my head had turned into a tomato. It was seriously unattractive and so classically Ugly-Betty-esque moment, ish.

Of course, I had to act like an idiot and smile like a goof at the doctors, who gave each other a weird-who the heck is she- glance. Sad. So Sad. But still so in love.

Doctor Hot Stuff has a name. He’s Adrien Rainville and he is serious Daniel Henney’s rival. Don’t know Daniel Henney? Well think of a half-Asian young man with tan skin, a well trimmed goatee, dark black eyes that could make you melt with one stare, and a body of an athlete. Athlete not gym rat and not a guy with muscles that had muscles on top of muscles, seriously unsexy, but a nice fit and trim body, six feet tall and god I can’t continue because I think my heart just popped. Someone call 911. Ever had that feeling when your heart sinks and the hair on the back of your neck stands tall like little soldiers? Well every time I see Adrien, that’s the very feeling I get. A knee buckling oh my god he’s so handsome, so smart, and so darn rich and I’m so jealous of his girlfriend because I know he has a girlfriend dammit feeling.

Unfair.

Sometimes I wonder why my parents didn’t mess with my genetics, make me taller, and hotter, just like Doctor Rainville, but a female version. Okay that would be creepy because then it would be like me liking my twin. So fine, forget that. I’m fine with the way I look. I don’t have a perfect twenty four inch waist, thirty six inch boobies, and a J-Lo bum, but hey, I look pretty okay in my scrubs, my cute pink scrubs. So what if I don’t have a butt that guys want to grab on the streets-- though one time, someone did grab my butt and it was just not flattering because that’s sexual harassment and I beat the guy in the face until even his mother couldn’t recognize him. My boobies aren’t like bazookas, god who would want that except for Heidi Klum maybe during her Victoria Secret days. But whatever. I’m just your standard Asian girl, almond shaped eyes, boring black hair, boring brown eyes. Sometimes I really think it’s unfair I don’t have pretty colored eyes and that contact lenses give me pinkeye. UNFAIR!

But looks are so overrated right?

I guess. But if people weren’t superficial, then I wouldn’t have a whole story to write about my beloved doctors Adrien and his sexy friend Lex Kimbal. Lex has Clark Gable’s arrogance, a long aristocrat’s nose, piercing green eyes and stylishly unruly dirty blond hair. While Adrien has a darker look, black hair, brown eyes like me, but ten times hotter than me in dude format, Lex has lighter skin that is still tanned and lighter features, perfectly arched blond brows and darker blond eyelashes.

Let’s just say that even though I’m making zilch at the moment as a student therapist, my eyes are feasting everyday. Eye candy makes for great compensation.

Monday morning is like every morning, I’m late to work and I run to catch the 7:42 train, the 8:03 bus, the 8:16 elevator, leaving a few minutes for me to use the bathroom, grab some coffee, chit chat with the other therapists in our department. I feel like Rumpelstiltskin, not like an evil dwarf with a thing for first born baby boys, eew, all disorganized and rumpled like his name. So I’m not exactly miss Hottie myself, especially not with my barely opened eyes, my string of yawns. The caffeine I inhaled is just swimming around my system, not yet reaching my brain, but hey who needed coffee when Adrien and Lex walk toward me, their white coats drifted behind them, stethoscopes around their necks, medical jargon pouring from their lush lips. Agents should come to our hospital more often and turn our doctors into movie stars-- they are hot without layers of makeup, airbrushing, and special effects. One time I actually thought about approaching Adrien and Lex and lying to them about a calendar I was shooting for charity. Yes for charity and I wanted to shoot them naked from waist up, with their stethoscopes around their necks.

Oh god I think I my nose is bleeding.

I stick out my chest and my chin so that I seem confident. I beam at both Adrien and Lex. By now they should know my name, I’m hoping. I’m wearing an ID card and we’ve worked together with patients before. Well my instructor had worked on patients with them before, I just stood and watched. And drooled.

I tell myself to take deep breaths. I bite my bottom lip coyly. I walk smoothly pass them.

Right before I trip on my own fat feet and my arms flail in the air. I take a step forward to regain my step. Okay so I didn’t hit my face on the ground. But I just proved to my lover boys that I’m a klutz and I had the stamp of loser all over my body.

Adrien and Lex turn their heads to look at me. Lex chuckles and Adrien seems to look embarrassed for me. Fire burns my cheeks. I think I’m going to jump out a window.

“Be careful Mandi or you’ll be the one needing therapy,” Adrien says. He grins and gives me an amused look before walking away with Lex.

I know for sure now it’s not obsession, it’s not infatuation.

I’m in love.

With Doctor Adrien Rainville.

Who knows me by name and profession. Sorta. I think I’m going to jump out of that window anyway. Either way the happiness bubbling in me is enough to kill me.