(OHMYGOD, AN UPDATE)

this is my style.

→warning: another 15 minute thing, similar to "want you bad".
there'll be like, three to five chapters? idk, depends
on how i decide to divide all of it up.

→song credit: eve 6, "anytime"

→NOTE TO ALL REVIEW GAMERS: i want to know how to improve my WRITING. i know my writing isn't horrible and i know that i don't write like a fifteen year old girl (though there are few amazing ones out there), which means that i obviously choose not to capitalize. so use your brain and think of something other than capitalization to nitpick about.

gonna get in the car with a smile and the burn that i put on my arm the day you went away, girl, and i probably won't come back around again.

"i don't have to go, you know."

"i know."

"tell me to stay, and i will."

"i know."

"do you want me to stay?"

"i don't know."

gonna get in the car with a smile and the burn that i put on my arm the day you went away, girl, and i probably won't come back around again.

"then i guess i'm going. i don't take an "i don't know" when i ask if someone wants me around."

she had big eyes. they were so bright and so clear that i always forgot the fact that i didn't know what color they were and could only drown. i'd never known what color they were. somedays, i was sure they were grey and could see right through me, and other days, i thought they were green and could tell me all the world secrets in just a few words. and then, sometimes, i thought they were blue, so blue, i thought she would cry. i saw those colors more often than not, but i could never tell.

her hair was just as sporadically vivant. with blue and green and blonde and purple, she was originally a brunette. when i first met her, her hair was chin length and black. i never saw her natural color.

gonna get in the car with a smile and the burn that i put on my arm the day you went away, girl, and i probably won't come back around again.

i was afraid to tell her to stay. she always hated the guys who clung to her, followed her and suffocated her. like they couldn't be without her for one second, or somethin'. the first time we went out, that's the type of guy i was. i met her after every class, sometimes getting there before the bell even rang. i'd stay until the warning bell rang and then run to class after she went inside her classroom. i wrote her notes - tons of notes. walked her home or gave her a ride. bought her food. spent a lot of time with her outside of school, just us. i was so nervous. i tickled her - i tickled her to the point where she wouldn't even smile when i ran my fingers against her side because i'd broken her.

i was afraid to tell her, "i don't want you to go." because i was afraid she would, anyways, and would forget me. i was afraid she would forget me and never remember me because i never mattered enough. and that's what always made a difference to me. it wasn't horrible until i came across the idea that i didn't mean to her what she meant to me, and that i wouldn't be enough...

i was afraid she'd leave and never come back.

→i miss you. just so you know.

a/n: it's been awhile (since i put something up). i'm sorry.