Eeep.. I think I need to stop writing love letters that shall remain forever unsent during my english class. Is this a love letter? I don't know what it is, but I spelled it right, and for me, that's something.

Give me all the constructive crit you want. I'm not exactly a first time writer, but I guess on fictionpress I am.

I was being slightly facetious with the title, this poem is to one person and one person only, but it's just as well that the title is so formal and out of place. I like it, though. I've felt something like this for a long time, and now I can finally pin my feelings down long enough to write something.

To Whom it May Concern...

You know,
I'd live for the smile of you
I’d die for the love of you
to see your face, I’d let it all crumble
and burn
to ashes
to dust
for a single feeling
I’d give it all
You hold my soul in your hand
without even realizing it.
Your flame
is melting the aesthetic wax
of my perfect world
distorting and blurring it
slurring and softening it
into a malleable paste
where anything is possible.

I’ve got me right where I want me
because I’m sure
if you knew
you’d agree.
that I want to be here.
with the chaos.
and that would be something
some kind of contact
under the pretense of you actually knowing anything
I can’t blame you for that, though
being clueless
I only reap what I sow
and I’ve been destroying all the evidence
burning the fields
orthe small shoots that can grow in two months,
anyway.

I’d love to scream it out at you
whenever I pass
I’d love to get a sign and paint it neon red
and let it say it all until there’s nothing left to be said.
I’d love to be spent in that way
knowing that you knew
that even if it killed everything
that you knew
that I don’t hate you.
quite the contrary, I might say
I find myself jumping at the mere mention of your name
I can’t walk past certain rooms
without feeling warmth, and suddenly crushing anguish
or the conflicting feelings
of somethingI can’t stifle
with a mere hello and goodbye.

“Good Morning...”
and yet, I torture myself on purpose
by forcing myself to walk by you
but taking the long way around,
late to class again, for that.
by finding ways to see you if I can
but pointedly ignoring you
unless directly addressed
by starving myself of the oxygen my soul craves most
so that when I get that splitsecond breath,
it’s all the sweeter.

And I wonder if you’re really worth it.
you notice me no further than the most polite of greetings
which I think you give everyone.
How could I be enamored by and infatuated with this?
I can ask myself that all morning.
and I’ll be no closer to solving anything
but I’ll be a hell of a lot more uncomfortable.
And I’ll be ticking down the minutes left until 4th
so I can take the long way around
again.
this could be my schedule,
one hour at a time.