sometimes i wear
your red knitted hat
and it makes me feel
closer to you,

sometimes i go down
to the drugstore
just so i can smell
your old perfume.

i heard you've stopped
wearing the cheap brands
since you packed up

and left a bottle of
sweet pea and alcohol
on the dresser.

sometimes i read
the books you read
and i wonder what
you thought of
this one character

and sometimes i sleep on
the wrong side of the bed

even though
it's not your side now.

no, it's not.

sometimes i wear
your red knitted hat
and i pull it
over my ears

and i walk out
into the winter
and i smoke my own cigarettes
and breathe my own air

and inside my head
parts of us
are together again.

i could shatter the sidewalk with all this love in my hands