|The Jerk Next Door
Author: fallsauce PM
He cursed me a vile name as he walked down the drive way, stumbling as his foot caught an unnoticed pebble. Just for that, I sprayed him again, soaking the entire back of his shirt and pants. Hey, since he said I was one, I might as well act the part.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,183 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 05-15-08 - Published: 03-19-08 - id: 2491584
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
If there was one word that described Karyn Cambrey's life, "uneventful" would be it. At age 17, nearly 18, she has never been kissed, never done drugs, never partied until dawn or any of the things high schoolers nowadays are portrayed to do in movies. Maybe comparing one's life with a movie is a bit unrealistic, but nevertheless, it still doesn't take away from the fact that her life was bo-oring. She has never been bullied, nor been a bully. Her parents were healthy and whole – mentally and physically, she was not in any sort of way an outstanding athlete, debater, actress… In fact, name any one activity and she would be average at it.
It was midnight. I was lying in bed, having a self-pity party by my lonesome. The only sounds came from occasional cars speeding past, undoubtedly on their way to some wild, crazy party out of my world. It was Friday night after all.
A voice swore loudly beneath my window. My hand leapt to my chest. I pulled the covers more tightly around me. Scared, alone, in the dark, I debated whether to check it out or to remain in my room until the person went away. I've seen horror movies. The beautiful blonde always get butchered in her dressing gown when she goes out to investigate. Of course, I'm not blonde, or, for that matter, beautiful. But I am a girl and that's close enough. I suppose my bunny pyjamas with matching slippers will have to do in the absence of any sexy lacy lingerie.
I heard someone trip over the garbage can. Then I heard him shooting all sorts of colourful language at the bin. I waited about five minutes and the man was still mumbling something outside. I retrieved my flashlight and opened the window.
"Who's there?" I called out into the darkness. I pointed the flashlight until it caught a figure lying on the ground a few feet beside the recently toppled garbage cans.
A drunkard. That'll be a peach to deal with.
"Get up!" I yelled and shone the light in his face. The figure raised his head slightly before lying down again. I could hear him moaning as he clutched his head. "Get up! Or I'm calling the cops!" I said again, not entirely sure if he was conscious enough to understand me.
God, but I hated these rich playboy types who did nothing but get drunk or laid. Oftentimes concurrently. I swear, the moment I graduate, I'm moving out of this retarded neighbourhood. Until then… I thought with a frustrated sigh. I pulled on a coat and walked outside to where the garden hose was. This would serve him right.
I turned on the hose, not to full strength, but enough that he would feel a considerable force.
"Arrgh!" he screamed and wiped his face with a hand. I turned off the hose and looked down at him. He brushed a hand through his wet hair and looked up to see me towering over him. He seemed to be about my age and sort of familiar looking. Perhaps he was from my school? But then again, everyone around here had the same hairstyle and wore the same brands that I could mistake him for any one of the hundreds of boys at my school.
"Get up," I said. "And get out."
He glared at me, but managed to pull himself into a standing position after much grumbling.
"Bitch," he muttered as he walked down the drive way, stumbling as his foot caught an unnoticed pebble.
Just for that, I sprayed him again, soaking the entire back of his shirt and pants. Hey, since he said I was one, I might as well act the part.
"…And then I found out he was my neighbour and my parents had invited their family over for dinner." I grimaced at the thought of dinner tonight. "I doubt it's going to be pleasant."
"So you're going to do what? Sit through dinner without opening your mouth except to eat? That's gotta be a challenge for you," Aubrey said with a smirk.
Aubrey. As in Captain Jack Aubrey. Her parents were very much fans. Personally, if we're talking sea stories, I'd pick Hornblower over Aubrey. I told her once and all she said was: "Huh, I actually don't mind my name now." Aubrey used to beg her parents to change her name, she still brings it up every once in a while, but so far they seemed to think that a music loving sea captain's name suited their little girl perfectly.
"Hopefully he won't bring up yesterday. Touch wood." I surveyed the room for a bit of wood and finding it to be the coffee table legs.
"Are you sure he even remembers you?"
"Pretty sure. He gave me a look… Anyway, I did wake him up with a jet of water. I'm thinking he won't forget that in a hurry."
Aubrey thought for a moment. "Well, maybe if you explained yourself…"
"Explain myself? Explain myself. "
"Moving on…" Aubrey said and picked up the TV guide. She always changed the subject whenever I looked about ready to start ranting. "Oh look! Spongebob is on!" She said, and clicked the remote to the right channel.
"Please act your age and not your shoe size," I said, grabbing the remote from her, I channel-surfed for a while. "Do we really need to know how many different pills can make a guy get an erection?"
"Spongebob might need some. His whole body is soft and spongey." Aubrey wiggled one of her eyebrows suggestively.
"You're disgusting." I made a face at her and changed the topic. "What's up with you and Andrew these days? I haven't seen you with him in ages."
"I don't know, I'm thinking of calling it off," Aubrey mumbled, turning back to the screen.
"How come?" As far as I knew, they haven't had a major argument since they started dating a month ago. Although… doesn't Seventeen always say that was a problem in itself?
"He's way too boring. And much too cute. You should see the queue of girls drooling every time we go out on a date." Aubrey made a gagging noise. "I think I'll grant at least one of them their wish."
"How thoughtful of you."
"Yeah well, I've got the best years of my life to think about."
I scoffed at her. "Best years of your life? You can't even consume alcohol legally yet." I checked my watch. "Ugh. It's time."
"Don't say it like you're going to your execution."
"No, I shouldn't…" I agreed. "This is ten thousand times worse!" I cried dramatically and pretended to faint on the couch as Aubrey laughed. I picked up my bag and got into my car. I rolled down the window so Aubrey could lean in.
"Hey, if he's cute and you don't want him, feel free to send him my way." She grinned. "I'll see you tomorrow then?"
"If I survive till the morrow," I lifted a distressed hand to my forehead and swooned.
Aubrey snorted and patted the top to see me off.
So this story has been sitting in my computer for years and so far I've written about 10,000 words and no where near finished. Hopefully by posting it on FP I have an incentive to complete it, especially since I have a spin-off story that I'm also working on, which I can't post until this is up. (OK, long sentence, let's take a breath.)
I guess this story is pretty cliched - fiesty girl, brooding male, high school romance - but I hope you'll like it anyway. I started this story just after I finished high school and it's my fourth year in uni now, so if the tone suddenly changes in the middle of the story, that's why. ;;
I appreciate feedback and criticisms. So if you've got an opinion, I'm happy to hear it! I'll definitely respond to questions or comments, unless you're just saying "I love/hate your story! Write more/DIE!" In which case, duly noted!