I used to sit at home
Sit home alone all night
I could not remember why I used to love this world
I would sit and think
And try to recall
Just what it was about life I loved so much
I used to cry for you
I'd cry for me, too
It was selfish but it felt so damn good
I would lock the door
And turn off the light
And I'd curl up and think about what I really am
What I must be

I called you once when the sun went down
I left a message with your mother
I wanted to know what you thought would happen
What would happen if I walked through the wall
Next to my window, two stories off the ground
I wanted to know
Would the fall be enough, I had to know
I couldn't leave it alone

I never was myself
Was always someone new
Somehow my identity kept slipping into shadow
I was afraid of me
And what I liked to do
I could not stand the pain of my phantom self-worth
I have this fantasy
In which I die for you
In which I sacrifice everything to save your soul
I know I have to choose
But I don't think I can
And I'll admit I'm afraid of what that might mean
What it might mean

I called her once when the clouds rolled in
I left a message with her father
I wanted to know if she ever thought about me
Thought about me when she was alone
Stuck at home with herself and the shape she's in
I wanted to know
Would she care if I fell, I had to know
I shouldn't leave her alone

I can't leave her alone, I can't leave you alone
Neither one of you will just get the hell out of my head
Don't leave me by myself, just pick up the phone
You have me wishing I was dead—would you care if I died?
I'm afraid of the answer
But I need to know