A/N: In my school, we have these things called Peer Guides, and they'rewho help the freshmen throughout their first year of high school. This is based on a conversation with my Peer Guide today. I know the grammar's not perfect, but I try. The italized words are a flashback. Like, this is happening in the future, and the conversation portion (what happened today) is in the flashback.

Dedicated to Ariel

Independence

“Can I ask you something?” Her tone surprised me a little. She seemed wary of me, as if it took all the courage in her body to ask me those four little words. I nodded warmly, and I could see the apprehension enter her sapphire eyes. “How’re you so independent?”

“What do you mean by independent?” I asked, not harshly but an inviting tone that plainly asked her to keep talking. She was shy, and never spoke much in Peer Guidance. I always wanted them to do well, to open up and be a bit more . . . talkative. To branch out. I hated to admit this, as a Peer Guide, but I slightly favored her over the rest, despite her quiet manner. She was the kind of girl you could tell would be extremely into conversations, if she’d only get over her fears of speaking in front of her classmates.

“Like . . .” She stopped for a moment, struggling to find the right words. “There’s this air about you. You always carry yourself in a way that says ‘Don’t fuck with me. I’ll own your ass in a fight’.” Despite the seriousness in her expression, I couldn't help but chuckle a bit at her words.

“Because that’s how I act in Peer Guidance?” I asked, the grin still on my face. I honestly hoped I wasn’t making her feel too bad that I was laughing like I was. I just found it funny that I’d never really heard her speak before, let alone curse. She nodded eagerly, and I suddenly remembered how I was when I was a little freshman in high school, having an almost identical conversation.

Her brown eyes pondered the question for a moment and she finally said, “It really depends on the person.” She finally said after a moment, her tone encouraging me a bit more to continue with my explanation.

“I’ve been trying so hard to really speak up more.” I told her, my own brown eyes flashing earnestly. “I really have, it’s just . . .”

“It’s just what?” She asked me, walking step for step alongside me. All of a sudden, I felt nervous and I didn’t want to tell her. “Hey, I’m your Peer Guide. No matter what you say to me, I’m not going to judge you, and I’m going to do the best I can to help you.”

“I’m always afraid. That someone will laugh at me, or tell me that’s a stupid thing to say.” I murmured, looking at the ground, noticing that my sneakers were extremely worn down and I would soon have to get new ones.

“There are some kids in our group who will laugh at you. But not because of you, because they think they’re big shots and that they’re cool. You know who they are, and they know who they are too.” She told me confidently, with a touch of sisterly air to her tone. It made me look up from my sneakers and I nodded slowly, still feeling nervous about the whole situation. “We’re not going to deal with that kind of crap. I know it’s hard being fourteen and thinking that the opinions of your peers are important. But the truth is, they’re not, and if they laugh at you, it’s not going to affect your future.” She told me as she opened the door to the building.

“I want to be a Peer Guide when I become a senior.” I told her quickly. “You, Gabe and Jordana have all inspired me so much. I want to inspire others! Because of you, I want to be someone these next four years of my life.” At these words, a huge grin spread onto her face.

“I’m glad.” She told me, and for once I felt accepted by her. “That’s what we try to do. We try to inspire you.”

For a moment, I felt too overwhelmed to speak, so I murmured, “Thanks.” That smile was still on her face, and I felt proud of myself that I did go talk to her.

“No problem.” She said, shaking her head. “If they give you any crap at all, I’ll be there for you.” She waved at me and headed towards her classroom as I entered mine.

I turned back to the kid in my Peer Guidance group, a smile still etched on my face. “I wasn’t always as independent as I was.” I finally said after a moment. A look of surprise entered her face and I continued, “I was just as nervous about speaking in front of my peers as you were.”

“How’d you overcome it?” She asked me, her eyes filled with wonder. Kids these days, not entirely respectful to those older than her. She was different. She was always kind, and always respectful to me, to Andy, and to Leigh. Still, she constantly followed me around, asking only me questions. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she was my reincarnate.

“I had a role model.” I told her. “My Peer Guide. She helped me get through high school, helped me out when I was lost for words, and ultimately became my friend.” I told her. She stopped suddenly, in front of the classroom door. She couldn’t speak, but her eyes brimmed with gratitude. “You’re welcome.” I told her quietly, and walked to my next class, thinking of thefriend who had helped me gained my independence.