Part 2

There is a blinding light. “Yes, Sarah, I’m coming,” I say. I reach out to feel my way to the other side but I can’t move my arms. “What?”

I struggle to move my arms but I am tied down. Oh, God, what’s happening?

I hear voices in the distance. My mom and a man’s voice – familiar yet I can’t place it. “Daddy, is that you?”

“No, Gwen, you’re in the hospital.” I hear the man’s voice say.

My eyes flutter open. There is a blinding yellow overhead light. I blink. “What?”

“You’re in the hospital,” the voice repeats.

The reality of the situation hits me. “No! No, I’m supposed to be dead.” I thrash about but the arm bands hold me captive.

“Calm down,” the voice says.

“No. I wanted to die!”

“Calm down, Gwen,” says my mother. “You’ll rip out your stitches.”

I scream in agony. “I wanted to die!” I turn on them. “How could you bring me back? I wanted to go to Sarah.”

“Gwen …” My mother’s voice trails off in a whisper. She whimpers.

I stare at her and feel no sympathy. How could she bring me to the hospital? How could she do this? How could she bring me back when she knew how much I wanted to be with my Sarah? I explained that in the letter. Didn’t she bother to read it?

“How could you do this to me, Mom?”

“Honey, you have to understand –“

“Well, I don’t!”

“Calm down, Mrs. Frasier, you’re getting yourself worked up and your blood pressure is climbing,” says the doctor. He is of medium height and build with a mop of dark hair.

“Who are you to tell me to calm down?” I demand.

“I’m your doctor. And we’ve met before, remember? I’m Paul Silas. I’m …. Ty’s friend.”

I shudder at the mention of that name. “Don’t ever say that name again around me!”

“I’m sorry. I know it upsets you.”

“You don’t know how much it upsets me or you wouldn’t have said it. Leave me alone.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t do that, Gwen. You tried to kill yourself and that’s very serious.”

“I wanted to die and you brought me back. You disgust me.”

“I understand how you feel. But I don’t think you really wanted to die. I think that this was a cry for help.”

“I did want to die. You don’t know me. You don’t know what hell I’ve been through in the last year.”

“I’m sure I don’t but you can tell me about it.”

“Never,” I say. “I have nothing to say to you.” I look at my mother. “Same goes for you, mom. I never want to speak to you again. You know how much I wanted to be with Sarah and you brought me here.”

“Gwen, I love you. I don’t think I could stand to lose you.”

“Then you’re the selfish one. Putting your own wants and desires ahead of mine.”

Dr. Silas cuts in. “This is counter-productive, Gwen. If you don’t want to speak to me then you can speak with my colleague Dr. Carver. He is an expert in his field.”

“ ‘In his field’? I assume you mean a psychiatrist. I don’t need one. I just need to be with my daughter.” I break down in tears. “I just want to be with my Sarah – can’t anyone understand that?”

“I understand what you’re saying, Gwen.” He pats me awkwardly on the shoulder. “I’ll be back in to check on you. I’ll send in Dr. Carver in the meantime.”