The sweet silence and solitude of my suite couldn’t be more satisfying if I wanted it to be. My neighbor is always making a damned commotion these days; I swear he has animals in there. He can be so inconsiderate. To be fair I’ve never actually met him though, I always end up beating on the walls to shut him up. I do spend about sixty percent of my day at home when I’m not at school. Nonetheless I am guessing he has gone out tonight, and I couldn’t be happier.

My other “neighbor” is this obnoxious couple who are playing house. In other words they aren’t married but living together and I’m not judgmental about that sort of thing typically, but do they ever stop going at it? I don’t particularly care to hear the moans and giggles of their sex life twenty-four seven.

Stretching one last time I pick up my camcorder and kick my dirty socks of the day’s grim aside. I minimize my windows on my project on the laptop and almost gracefully slide my bare feet across the tile in my kitchen/computer room. I need a coffee or something. Glancing at my clock then at my picture collage on the wall adjacent I crack a small smile from the corner of my lip. Half past twelve and I almost finished my video. The weekend is just in sight and with my work finished I might actually be able have a social life.

“God, it’s like a fucking zoo,” I look through the curtain to the busy streets surrounding my apartment complex. Something abruptly caught my gaze a man in purple pants, a black tank top, sunglasses (regardless of the hour), and black boots. He looks to be drunk as two slutty girls seem to carry him into my building. I cross my arms around me and glance over my shoulder at the tea kettle. Finally I look back down to see they aren’t there anymore so I head for my cupboard.

I lay back in my La-Z-Boy and click the remote a few times rolling my eyes at the man on the street. Sighing at the crap TV programs I watch my kettle whistles for me to come get the water. My back cracks sickeningly as I get up.

The faint jingle of “I’m Watching American Television” echoes in the background. I shake my head in a soft chuckle at my countries pride in our smutty programs. Just as I start sip my tea and head back to my chair there is a loud holler and a constant bashing on either the door beside mine or my very own front door. This causes me to jump in shock spilling the hot tea on my bare foot.

“Shit!” I rub the tip of my foot against the back of my other calf. I almost slam the mug onto the counter but don’t for fear of spilling more.

I ready myself to yell and kick my neighbor’s ass as I stomp to the door. Yanking it open I see the man from outside purple pants and all lying on the floor in front of my door. Hiccupping and laughing insufferably as ever, he rolls over on his stomach and tries to lift himself.

Again I roll my eyes at his pathetic behavior.

“Do you need help?” I raise my eyebrow at him.

“What? What are you doing in my room?” he giggles.

“I’m not in your room. Your room is the next door. So kindly leave the hallway so we can all get some peace and quiet.” With that I shut my door and leave him to his business.

Just as I take but two steps away the same fumbling at my door knob clamors as it did before. It’s going to be a long night.

I pull open the door again with some resistance on the other end this time. He is still on the floor only now holding on to my door.

“What?” I raise my voice out of frustration.

He laughs and grabs my leg and almost automatically I kick him off. “I don’t know how to get into the- the room er…” he trialed off.

“Fine I’ll take you into your room then you have to promise to shut the hell up the rest o f the evening!” I bend down and grab his arms.

Almost crawling up my body with all his weight I feel ready to fall over. Finally with his arms awkwardly situated both arms around my neck and leaning his body against my back I lug him the few feet to his door. The smell of alcohol and sweat burns into my nostrils causing me to gag slightly.

I pull on the door handle of his room and it’s locked. “Do you have a key?” I ask gritting through my teeth.

“Key?” he reaches into his butt pocket of his purple pants and then his front pocket. “Uh…”

I close my eyes a moment and frustratingly yank the door. Nothing. Grand. What am I going to do with him? I can’t just leave him… I could…

With much reluctance I tell him, “…You should stay in my room for the night.”

“Kinky,” he giggles. Yuck.

So I pull him into my apartment and throw him into my guestroom. There isn’t anything in there besides an old computer, an air mattress, and a few pillows. He’ll live. Just incase I bring a garbage can in and decide it is best if I wait for him to fall asleep.

“Was yo’ name?” he groggily mumbles with his face in a pillow.

“Regan. And how about you?” I plop down next to him on the floor.

“James and the Giant Peach!” he snickers and rolls over to look at me. “Hey, I know you… You’re that chick who works at the video store…”

I can honestly claim I have no idea what he is talking about. I rarely rent movies.

“Do you ever think about what would happen if we all just walked on the ceiling? What would we do for like falling upward?”

Just then the ‘thump- thump’ of the love birds began and could this evening possibly kill me?