Never once was she asked if she would be OK. Never once did anyone show one slither of compassion for her. Never once did anyone go any deeper than the surface to see what was bothering her. All she ever wanted was for someone to know what causes her pain. She never wanted much, just someone that wouldn't be afraid to see the lost little girl she has become.

Every guy just seemed to care, but not as much as a true love would. They all dated her for a while, then found some lame excuse to break it off with her. The only time she truly felt that one cared more than any other guy was when she went out with this one guy. She never had to pretend to be happy...she just was happy.

All of her friends cared, but they didn't seem to notice that she was lost. They all were concerned for her, but they didn't discover something that she had hidden. They never discovered the reason why she was a lost little girl...they never even tried to understand...

Her mom never knew of how sad she truly was. How much pain she would be in every now and again. The hurt that she had to endure. How much she despised life. Just how much certain things would hurt her. Her mom just didn't notice, but then again how would she? She never paid any real attention to her facial expressions, or at least thats how she felt.

Her dad has been out of the picture. He never once called to see how she was doing. She could still feel his hand in hers, and feel his hugs. Every evening she hopes for him to come home, but her hopes and dreams are smashed every time. She still holds on to that bear that he gave her when she was but a child. It may remind her of him, but...she treasures it because it came from his heart...The only gift he ever got from him that actually came from the heart. She misses him so, but she doesn't let that on. She just let them to continue to think that she hates her dad, when in reality she loves and hates him...After all that he did how could she still love him? She guesses it was because she loved him with all of her heart, and always looked forward to a future that never came. She still dreams of that future. Even though she knows it will never come her way she still dreams...

She believes shes foolish. Maybe she is, or maybe hes not...Whose to know? She thinks shes foolish because he let him get away. She let him slip threw her fingers, and never looked back until now. She really liked him, and she knows that he liked her to...He even said “You really like me, and you want to be my girlfriend right?” All she did was smile and say “I don't care.” Ever since then she has kicked her self over and over for that stupid mistake...

Sometimes she finds herself thinking about what one of her friends said. “I wish that I could of dated you.” he had said. She agreed with him. She wishes that she could of dated him because maybe she could of shielded him from some of the hurt, but also because she might like him a little bit. Which she knows is not right because she already has someone whom she holds very dear to her. He has made her happy, and has taken her heart hostage. She really cares for him, and he cares for her, but she still finds herself wondering what would of happened if she were to of dated her friend...

She sometimes finds herself remembering some thing that would make her sad. Of course it would always be when no one was around so she could cry with out anyone asking why. She did cry, and always in secret so no one would see her...

She stopped crying in front of her family. She doesn't believe she ever really did. She hated crying in front of people because she was afraid of being a burden on everyone. Though shes been told that shes not, she still believes that she is.

She wonders how she can deal with the drama, but some how she manages to deal. She knows that every time shes dragged into drama it probably brings her a step closer to insanity, but she deals and tries to help who ever dragged her into it the bet way he can. To her its amazing how she deals with the drama with out breaking down when theres to much to handle.

She wishes she could take all the pain away from her friends, but she can't. She wants to take the hidden pain from them and let them know nothing but happiness. It would be to much to bear she knows, but she still wants to do it...She just wants some way to show her friends that shes always there no matter what. She wants them all to know that they can come to her when they are having a problem. She wants to help them in the best way she knows how. She wants them to know that she will take there burden as her own. That she will let them live in happiness for as long as there aloud to. She hates feeling useless. She doesn't want her friends to think that they can't come to her when they need someone. She wants them to know that they can come to her no matter what. That no matter what it is she will be there to help them. That she will take the burden from them, and let them live their lives the way they want to live it.

She may hate it, but she needs someone. Though she would never admit to it. She doesn't admit to herself that she needs someone to go to and talk to. That she needs a strong central pillar, but also one that knows they can talk to her when she is needed. If she wants to talk to someone, but they need her, then she will forget about her own problem and take it upon herself to listen, and take this problem from them. She just wants then to know that no matter what she will put them before her own self.

Thats all she wanted people to know. She just wanted them to try and understand her, and she believes that threw this story they will understand at least a little more about her.