Our mighty band of adventurers approached the FWL.

“That should be a C#, not a C,” said Harold.

“The wobble board isn’t what I signed up for,” replied Leander. “Anyway, I think someone is over there watching us. He’s dressed as a tree.”

“Why don’t you go and ask him to leaf us alone?”

The group decided to investigate and drew near the watcher.

“Drat! My lead’s snapped.”

As they got close, it became apparent that the man’s dress was fantastic. The rest of his costume wasn’t bad either.

Leander spoke first. “Who are you and watcha doing?”

“I am … The Gatekeeper.”

A roll of thunder washed over them.

“Are the capitals really necessary?”

“Yes. They act as political centres and trade hubs.”

“Why do they trade hubs?”

“I don’t wheely know. But that is not important. I am … The Gatekeeper.” Thunder rolled again, like it did last summer. “And to enter you must get past me.”

“How do we do that?”

“It’s a sovereign each. Pets included.”

“She’s not a pet.”

“I’m talking about the elephant you’re riding on.”

“Oh yes, I forgot. When I was told we were taking the Jumbo I got completely the wrong idea.”

After paying they entered the tunnel. It began as a nasty, dirty wet hole but after what seemed like miles it became a dry, bare, sandy hole. They travelled a through a couple more leagues (la Liga BBVA and Serie C1) before seeing a shaft of light coming from above. Leander, whose eyes were keener than most, observed that there was a window above them. They decided to rest here.

Harold got out some jars of food, but seemed to be having difficulty. Soon there was a large pile of discarded jars.

“What’s the problem?” asked Leander.

“They have these safety seals – they say you shouldn’t eat if it’s popped up, but whenever I open one, the seal pops up.”

There was a tap on the window above. Someone had turned it on: water started flooding into the cave.

“Soon we’ll need a different kind of seal,” remarked Leander.

“Well, we’ve already got a walrus.”

“You should stop talking about Annette like that.”

“Why do you always assume we’re insulting Annette? We got a walrus half price with the elephant.”

“And you felt the need to get one?”

“I thought we might get hungry.”

Soon they were all submerged because they’d neglected to run. Luckily, we can continue the conversation as all the characters know sign language.

How long do you think it’ll take to swim out? asked Dick, who wanted to be involved in the story again.

Well, don’t hold you breath, said Harold. Leander, bring Timmy with you.

They swam on, as they knew the path didn’t rise until a long way behind them.

Is this the end for our intrepid adventurers? Can Julian get to Uncle Quentin in time? Are the references getting too obscure? All will be revealed (though hopefully not Annette) when we return with A Fantasy Novel.

-- Author’s note –

Caves fill quickly with water, or so say some signs on a beach near where I live (although, alas, alliteration is absent). I assume taps can fill a large passage just as quickly as the moon. They may not be as big, but they’re much closer.

Knowledge of sign language (n.b. hand gestures, not the language the signs are in) will be explained in Chapter Nine and Three Quarters. To access it, run really fast into your screen between Chapter Nine and Chapter Ten. Say hi to Boudica for me.

-- Author’s second note –

If you know why I mentioned Boudica, I’m impressed/worried. Have a coconut.