( Work II )

"...and they're both sitting down eating," said Alec, laughing his trademark laugh.

Diane and I turned to face the front of the pizzeria. Alec walked in, followed by another man, shorter but with a similar, impressive beer belly.

"You're both fired!" The man cried, his voice strangely lisping. I chuckled a bit.

"Get the hell out of my store!" he screamed. My chuckled trailed off and I glanced at Diane, but she didn't seem disturbed. The man moved closer and I noticed that he bore a strong resemblance to Robin Williams, but with Elijah Wood's eyes. He leaned over and put his arms around Diane's neck, pressing his head against hers in a way both childish and sweet. "Hi Diane," he said.

"Hi Billy," she replied.

Billy said something to me I didn't quite catch. His speech impediment enhances his Lost Boy persona, and it also makes him pretty difficult to understand. I looked at Alec desperately, who was lounging against the counter across the way, but he wasn't paying attention. I smiled at Billy for a moment, but he continued to stare at me wide-eyed, and it was clear my lack of response wouldn't do. "Pardon?" I finally asked timidly.

"You work with Francis?"

I nodded, relieved to have understood him. "He's related to Francis," Eric added helpfully. "His uncle." I chewed on this information for a moment while Billy continued to goggle at me. "Have you met Billy?" Alec asked.

I shook my head. Alec wrinkled his face up and laughed his infectious, pg-13 Santa Claus laugh. "Well, you'll be seeing a lot of him," he said, and laughed again.

"When I go in I'm hard, when I come out I'm soft. You blow me hard."

"Bubble gum," I said promptly.

Billy removed his arm from around me and checked his answer sheet. "Cocksucker!" he exclaimed. After working with Francis I knew that this was not a personal insult, but a general expression of disgust, so I laughed. Alec, who had also been laughing, said "Hey!" warningly at Billy.

A man walked into the pizzeria, staggering horribly. He stepped backward, windmilling his arms for a moment, then fell heavily into a chair. We went quiet, eyeing him.

"I want a pizza," he slurred loudly, swaying in his seat.

"What size?" asked Alec.

The man got to his feet again and slowly made his way to the counter. A few times I was sure he was going to fall backwards, and he ran into a wall at one point, but he somehow kept his balance.

"I've got cash," he mumbled, and begin digging in his pockets. He pulled out his wallet, looked inside it, and then put it away and continued searching.

"You've had a few, I guess," said Alec, chuckling. "I saw you at Taps and then I saw you again at the Flag."

"I fuckin'...hurt people," the man said, a touch of defiance or triumph in his voice. He swayed for a moment and his eyes rolled back in his head. "I fuckin'...hurt people," he repeated.

I stared at him, fascinated. I had never seen anyone so drunk before, never realized anyone could be THAT drunk. He looked like death. I wondered if alcohol was the only thing in his system.

"There you go!" Alec said encouragingly, as the man pulled a crumpled wad of cash out of his back pocket.

"I have cash," the man repeated.

"You still haven't said what size you want," Alec told him.

His eyes rolled in my direction. "Is that your daughter?" he asked Alec, staring at me blearily.

"No, she's my...brother-in-law's stepdaughter," Alec said, chuckling a bit at this mouthful.

The man shuffled from side to side. "'That yer daughter?" he mumbled.

"No," said Alec, sounding slightly impatient. I was surprised it had taken him this long to get annoyed, as he has a very short temper.

"How is...yer daughter," he mumbled tonelessly.

Alec leaned one beefy arm against the counter. "Which one?" he asked brusquely. "I have three." His laugh was a short bark.

"'She your daughter?"

Alec charged him for a 12-inch pizza with the works. Billy, who had been serene and Buddha-like throughout this exchange, attempted to chat briefly with the man and came off looking quite sober in comparison. I began to stretch the dough for the 12-inch.

"Oh, you're going to make the pizza?" scoffed Billy. "Let's see you do it." He stared at me. "Impress me."

"I'll try not to screw it up," I said modestly.

"Throw it up in the air."

"I can't. And we're not allowed; Alec says the ceilings are too low." Alec was still at the front counter, attempting to explain to the super-drunk man that he had already paid. I leaned towards Billy. "Francis can do it. But we're not allowed." He continued to stare at me innocently.

While the pizza was cooking, the super drunk weaved his way out of the pizzeria. I stepped out the front door and looked both ways, but he had disappeared.

"Doesn't matter," said Alec, and shrugged. "He paid."

I took the pizza out of the oven. "That's a pretty good pizza," Billy conceded. I taped up the box and put it on top of the oven. Alec and Diane took it home with them at the end of the night.