Hey who sucks? Me! I haven't updated but I had to write this, Don't hate me! I'll update stuff soon.

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I couldn't get my hair to fall over my eyes in just the right way, so that it said 'I'm sexy and I didn't have to try too hard to be so heart stirringly orgasmic'. I looked at reflection in the mirror, I'm dead sexy, Fucking sexilicious. What? I am. I have no shame in saying I'm wonderfully beautiful cause damned if I don't bust my ass to look this way, an ass that looks fucking devastating in these jeans. If I could I would make love to my self. I'm so fucking beautiful.

Alas I've said enough about myself and my sexiness, (which is orgasmic). Now to tell you about my boyfreind and the non-existence of our sexlife, (which should be orgasmic). What is it that makes all my boyfriends not want to sex me up? I looked at my razor cut blond hair with honey highlights and my green eyes. I smiled. Totally fuck-able. I licked my full lips and pouted, almost smiling again at my own cuteness. My nose was straight and delicate, chin not too sharp, cheeks naturally flushed, coming together in a combo of adorable.

Well it's not like he never touched me, he just fell asleep when it came time for the actual fun stuff. Mainly after he exploded loudly and well explosively, I was left with a useless sleeping body and my own arousal problems. Gr, for no love! Well I refuse to let the bastard have fun without me anymore. I straightened my shirt and put on my belt with the glittery green skull on the front. I love green, it's sexy, like me.

"Fredrick! Get out of the bathroom!"

"Chill out Franchesca!"

I opened the bathroom door. Franchesca's my sister she's pretty too With her long blond hair and girly frame, My perfect opposite and together We were the sexilicious twins.

"You look nice." She's also sexy for her personality.

"Thank you love." I said thinking she looked composed for someone in need of the mirror.

"Wait your hair." She brushed at my bangs and fluffed them. I looked in the mirror again. Have I said how much I love her. A lot, but in a totally sisterly way. I looked so cute. I smiled at Franchesca and allowed her and her sexy sisterness past me with a bow.

"Are you gonna wear that?" I asked as she turned to me in her flowy pink dress.

"Yeah? What's wrong with it?" She sounded hurt. Crap. She doesn't look bad it's just . . .

"I wanted us to match ." Cause that would be cute for the first day of school.

"Oh," She said laughing. "I was going to but, we can match if you want." She ran back her room and came back with a light green shirt same as mine with Invader Zim on the front and a pair of not too tight flaring jeans, but her belt was a pink glittery heart. Aw, where gonna look so awesome, I hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. My sister is so cool.

I rode with Frachesca because my boyfriend ,the fucktard said he couldn't come get me. Bitch ass mother fucking donkey dribble! I really am not seeing the point of looking sexy when my boyfriend never gets to see. Wait. What am I saying? I look sexy because I just am, it's natural. We arrived on time despite the traffic of the student parking lot. Franchesca went to breakfast with her friends and I stopped quickly by the library to return a book, Boy Meets Boy. A book that GSA fought hard to get included in our school library for equality rights yada yada . . . I was just leaving when some one shouted.

"Well if that's not the gayest sight I've ever seen." Oh, the unsexiness of it all.

I forgot how big of a homophobe Westley is. Apparently he's gotten worst, with this stupid upgrade from hate filled glares to full out insults. It's painful to watch actually, he's not that witty.

"Go suck a dick, you closeted gay, your just soggy cause I turned you down already."

I was just trying to get to chem class. Fuck you and your secretly gay buddies, living in a freaking glass closet. Stop throwing stones.

"Fuck you Fredrick."

"That what I'm talking about, I don't want you like that." Well enough of this lameness. I'm not going to be late. I see Franchesca. We have AP together. Smart and sexy twins.

"Franny!"

"Freddy!"

I ran up to her squeaking as I hugged her Jumping up and down. Our new teacher, I'm assuming, gave me a quizzical glare like she doubted I was in the right class so I gave her my schedule to check. The glittery, pretty things I where tend to make people think I'm stupid. It's also partly because I'm so pretty they think I just ride around on my looks. Wrong I have brains and I use them regularly. After receiving my schedule and I doubtful glare I sat down next to Fanchesca near the back.

"So, what the hell is up your man?" She reads me so well.

"Oh, please let's not go there. I feel a headache coming on."

"He's such a jerk." She shook her head. She thought all my boyfriends were jerks. Well they kinda are. I like them like that, they argue with me which I find super sexy unlike a stupid passive person, but sometimes their just fucking disrespectful, and that is something I don't find so sexy. Whatever I just wish I had some Aleve or something.

"Advil?" See sexy twin mindreading powers.

"Yes, please." I let her sneak them to me under the table so we didn't get busted for drug possession. Stupid school rules.

I pulled out my water bottle and slipped the pills into my mouth in a move I perfect due to constant headaches in math classes. I put my head down on the desk, creating a dark fortress around myself. I got a strange cold feeling, like someone was staring at me and lifted my head to look around. Okay not someone, everyone, and it's uncomfortably silent. I hate silent classrooms.

"Does anyone care to repeat what I just said." The teacher was talking to the class, and they were all staring at me. Some kid raised their hand. You sir are un-sexy.

"You said there will be no time for sleeping in this class, to do so will result in an immediate detention." Aw, skittles.

I rolled my eyes, I swear it's a conspiracy to keep me form seeing Jordan, Who by the way is my fucktard of a boyfriend. I usually could care less if I was being written up, detention's not that horrible, you just do nothing for a couple hours after school. But those couple hours could be put to use doing more fun things, like, I don't know, sex maybe? I hate you evil teacher lady, that was not sexy at all.

All classes until lunch time suck! I have no friends in my stupid health and science classes. Damn my aspirations to become a doctor. Which means all College level classes of Anatomy and Physiology , Two periods of Health, and chemistry( which is okay because Franny's in there with me). But seriously I hate this crap, not the classes but, the aloneness. I need people and chaos to function. I work better when someone is trying to distract me, which is strange. Right?

I slammed my locker with undue force. I have to calm down, anger makes you ugly. let me tell you why I'm angry. I got detention, yeah I know, I saw that coming like a three hundred pound man in neon orange spandex. Both are highly un-sexy. Whatever I have friends to find, I straightened my messenger bag( which was bright green with random pictures Grr and Zim, Jack the Skeleton, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, and Good luck Carebear, that I sewed on myself. Crafty? I know.)

It didn't take long of me to find my group of awesome companions. Because they had the best seats near the front of the court yard, far away from the trash cans. I walked over to them. Notice I didn't go in to the lunch line? That's because I don't do school lunch, and since we can't go off campus . . . junk food and Luchables! I sat on my friend Conner's lap.

"Miss me?" I asked sweetly

"Oh absolutely who else was I gonna grope?" Flatterer.

"Your girl friend maybe." My friend Melinda and Conner's girlfriend chimed.

"Your not as sexy as Fredrick."

" Well we can't all look like adorable Angels." Aw better flatterer.

She patted her lap and I ditched Conner and climbed on Melinda.

"That's not even right," George chimed in. " My lap needs love too." I would sit on his lap but he may actually like it.

Conner get up and sits on George, who takes the liberty of groping Conner's ass. That's exactly why I'm fine over here. Conner squeaks and moves back over to Melinda's side. Rubing his ass.

"Stop traumatizing my boyfriend." Melinda scolded as she laughed. which caught her a glare from Conner

"Oh, he liked it." George purred.

"No, I really didn't. I think you gave me ass bruises." Conner whined still rubbing his bum as George chuckled.

"Aw, man up."

"Man down. You horny beast."

"Make me."

"I would if I wasn't so sure you'd rape me."

"Shut up you two." That was Katrin, she's been here all along but she was kinda sleeping. So now that she's awake introductions.

At my table are, Conner and Melinda the 'cutest couple eva', George the 'super suave Ladies man', He's not really gay just comfortable with his sexuality, (whatever I still think he's gay), Katrin and her brother Darrin (who is still sleeping), and of course, ME!

"Get off my legs now Fredrick their numb."

"Sorry." I switched back over to Conner who despite his complaints about ass bruises rested his face against my back.

"What'd you bring for lunch?" Katrin said yawning.

" What? I have no idea what your talking about." Never give Katrin food. She'll eat it all.

"Listen Gay boy, don't make me break you." I pushed my messenger bag behind me.

"I have no food!" I lie so badly.

"He has Poptarts!" Conner! Die a deadly death!

"You are such a bastard! Stay out of my bag!"

" That hurts Freddy, truly it does." Then you shouldn't be laughing bitch.

"Give em."

"No!" Their fighting over my food.

"Gimme!"

"Un-Uh!" Conner mumbled mouth full of my cinnamon bun Poptart.

"Gimme-gimme-gimme-gimme!"

I got off of Conner's lap because it looked like Katirn was going to kill him. I moved over to Darrin. Who by chance makes a very comfy pillow. A pillow that smells really good. Darrin mumbled something as I put my head on his shoulder. I hid my bag behind him and pulled out a Caprisun. I drank as I watched Conner clutch his shin where Katrin kicked him, she victoriously bit into my food. I'd starve if I didn't pack extra.

The bell rang and I didn't even get to eat my Nacho lunchable. Wait I have detention, I'll just eat it in there. Un-sexy detention. Oh well. I made it to my next class. Drama. Funtastic! I walked with Darrin since he's my pillow and we have this class together. I sat with him up front because if he sat near the back he'd be asleep and no fun to talk to.

"Darriiiiiin?"

"What?" He sounds annoyed wonder why, hehe.

"Do you have any gum?"

"No." I narrowed my eyes.

"Where'd you get yours from?"

"The spearmint fairy." He blew a crappy bubble

"Give me the gum bitch." I popped his bubble and stretched it so I could stick the destroyed remains to his forehead.

"Fine." Victory!

I chewed my gum as Darren used a wad of his own gum to un-stick the gum I put on his face. I laughed to myself. He's so cute.

"Hey can I borrow a pencil?" I looked at my arm then the person who tapped it. Some dark haired girl.

"Sure," I said digging in my bag and handing her on of my kick ass glittery pencils. "I need it back though."

"Okay, Hey, My name's Harmony, what's your's?" Harmony?

"Uh Fredrick."

"Cool, nice to meet you."

"Yeah, you too."

She turned back to her own desk, Using my pencil to sketch in a notebook. You think she'd have her own pencils if she's an artist. Strange.

Drama wasn't very dramatic. Irony. Anyway, I got my pencil back from Harmony who is actually very nice, once you get past her lack of preparing skills. I sat next to her in chorus and she didn't have any paper, not that she needed it, I mean it's chorus. I gave her about ten sheets and watched her fold them into origami turtles. I would be angry if she hadn't given me one. Wasting my paper like that. Some one killed a tree just so it could become adorable origami animals.

I wonder if that tree ever thought to itself, hot damn it would be so naturetastic if someone just cut me down, ground me to pulp, and pumped me out in little rectangular bits so I could be folded into a flippin turtle. I bet it did. Nature is crazy.

And so is the detention counselor. He says to call him counselor because he's not teaching. I think it's because he's still on an acid trip. Anyways, he has forced me to help him complete a puzzle. I hate puzzles, their boring and lame and un-sexy as it possibly gets. Especially when it's a puzzle of fuzzy kittens, cats, give me the creeps, Kittens are okay, but cats are evil. I had cat once and it was called Francine though it was really an Frank. It killed my neighbor's bunny and dragged it into my bed, I had nightmares until I was in middle school. Then I had a hamster called Jezebel she was evil too, she ate her babies, I still have nightmares about that.

So for two hours I was tortured with this stupid man in detention all by myself, with a fricking Kitty puzzle. Christ I hate cats, and middle aged men, and puzzles! Now more than ever before!

I was going to walk home, but I got this text and it made my day.

Hey it's Jase. Where R U? I want 2 C U? I come bearing gifts.

I called him back because I was walking and I'm not good at texting and walking.

"Hello."

"Come pick me up, I'm down the street from my school."

"Excellent."

"Isn't it?"

"See you in five minutes."

"Kay, Hurry I have frustration to let out in the form of sexual games."

"Like what?"

"Hurry up and find out."

I Think where actually going to do it. It's going to happen. I prepared my self for the pain as Jason smiled down at me. He lowered him self down so he could lay against my collar bone, he pressed a kiss there and wrapped his arms around me. Sighing and making himself comfortable. I was naked, he was naked. He was happy,I was pissed. He let out a snore. Oh fuck no! I couldn't move my arms. He did it again! Fucking fucked up bastard. I'm still hard! You can't even get me off? It hurts. I rolled onto my side trying to push Jason off, this time it worked.

I fucking can't believe this shit. I looked down. I was so hard and this is so unfair. I can't take it anymore.

"Jason! Wake the fuck up!"

He groaned and rolled over. I swear to god I almost punched him. Instead I wrapped my hand around myself. I hate you Jason. You can die in your sleep. I couldn't help that my body was still annoyingly attracted to the useless log of person, at least he's good for one thing. I watched him sleep as I brought my own release. I feel like a peeping Tom. Jason snored next to me, and I shoved a pillow in his face.

Jason If you won't fuck me, someone else will.