A/N: Hi everybody, this is just a one-shot I wrote for an assignment and it’s meant to a piece that can be read aloud. After reading an informal yet funny book called Why Men Don’t Listen and Why Women Can’t Read Maps I was inspired to write this. After all it explained about how men and women drive (especially men), how women can’t read maps and why men get so pissed off while driving on the roads when they are constantly being distracted by his annoying passengers.

Oh, the Pleasures of Driving!

They were an hour late. Michael and Amanda were on their way to Michael’s annual Christmas party in Ipswich as his boss Jake invited them to the party. But so far Michael was speeding down the motorway, trying his damn best to get to the party as soon as he can. Amanda was singing along to a song by Amerie and as loud as he screeches were getting, the more Michael was losing his temper with her.

“Damn it Amanda!” Michael snapped. “Will you shut the hell up?”

“I can’t help it,” Amanda told him. “This is my favourite song.”

As soon as she started singing again Michael couldn’t stand it any longer so he turned the CD player off immediately.

“What did you do that for?” Amanda demanded, looking at him. He glanced at her before settling his eyes on the road before him.

“I can’t focus while hearing you being strangled like a cat,” Michael murmured flatly. “Now look out for the turn-off please.”

“Oh, there it is!” Amanda exclaimed, pointing to the turn-off at the last second. Michael couldn’t react quickly enough so he missed it completely. He frowned darkly, his eyes narrowing. Amanda pouted at him.

“You missed it,” she pointed out quietly.

“Well thank you Captain Obvious!” Michael drawled sarcastically. He sighed deeply to himself, knowing that it was going to be such a long time until they finally reach the damn party. He honked in frustration at a female driver cutting him up.

“Stupid female drivers!” he complained, snorting. “They can’t bloody drive to save their life!”

Michael carried on driving along the motorway until her turned left at a roundabout. If it weren’t for Amanda spotting the turn-off very late then they would have been on the correct easy way to Ipswich. He glanced briefly at the clock in the dashboard and cursed inwardly. By this time he wondered if they were going to reach the party at some later stage in time. Amanda was peering out the window, observing the night time surroundings along with the vibrant city life.

“Wow, I bet that’s an expensive hotel,” Amanda crooned in awe. Michael rolled his eyes up to the ceiling, taking his hand off the steering wheel and opening and closing his hand in a way of mocking her speaking. “You know, me and you haven’t had a weekend away in such a long time. We should-“

The car halted when Michael stopped at a red traffic light. He reached over to the glove compartment as Amanda stared at him in absolute silence.

“Honey, why are you-?” she started to question when Michael dropped a map directly into her lap. Amanda scratched her head, confused.

“Instead of you coming out with poxy things about hotels and other things like that you can help me,” he explained impatiently. “You’re going to read the map because I’m pretty sure we’re now lost.”

“Don’t be so stupid Michael,” she informed with a laugh. “We can always pull over and ask directions.”

“No,” Michael answered stubbornly. “We don’t need to ask anyone when we have a map already. It surprises me that an intelligent girl like you doesn’t have common sense.”

“I don’t understand why men don’t admit to things when they’re in the wrong,” Amanda said sadly, flicking her black hair over her shoulder. “That’s so-“

“Amanda, don’t say another word,” he growled as he put the car into gear when the lights turned green. “Just look at the map and tell me where to go.”

“Since when did you become Mr Grumpy Guts?” she muttered under her breath.

Michael decided to let that one go as he was this close to turning the car around and heading back home. He followed every direction that Amanda told him but soon enough they reached a dead end. Michael pulled up and turned the engine off. Michael punched the wheel in frustration and crossed his arms over his chest in annoyance. In an attempt to calm him down Amanda put a comforting hand on his arm. He pulled back with a scowl on his handsome face.

“Thanks a lot Amanda,” he barked. “You’ve really done it this time!”

“Oh, so you’re implying that this is all my fault?” she challenged angrily.

“Well if you didn’t spend a long time getting ready then this wouldn’t have happened,” Michael argued.

“Ha, it’s not my fault that you wanted sexy fun while we were sharing a shower together,” Amanda retorted, glaring at her boyfriend. “You weren’t complaining at the time when I was giving you head! Oh, Amanda, don’t stop! You remember that, huh?”

“You know, I have always said all along that you couldn’t give a shit about my work,” he explained, almost shouting. “And now you proved it!”

“That’s it!” Amanda cried out sharply. “I’ve fucking had enough!”

She unbuckled her seat belt, got out of the car and slammed the door harshly in the process.

“Typical!” he growled. “Absolutely typical!”

A/N: Personally I think that’s the main reason why men can’t stand women in the same car as them – as you can see all hell breaks loose! Anyway please a review and tell me what you think of it.