Perhaps that was the only way

Perhaps that was the only way.

The only way he could show me;

His large hands, calloused,

But they felt smooth to me,

Gliding over my body

Igniting flames from each molecule

Of his skin that connected

With mine.

He poured his soul into his fingertips

Praying that within his caress it would transfer

Into me.

See me

He begged.

Understand,

He pleaded.

His eyes were large and swimming

With unexpressed desires and dreams

Lurking with disappointment

Neglect

And rejection.

It can never be

They told him.

Poisoning his aspirations

You’ll fail

They chanted.

And in time, he believed them,

And soon, stopped trying.

But there, in his eyes

And tattooed on his flesh

Those dreams that dwelled

Still remained,

Tainted, but beautiful

Like a ship on an otherwise glassy ocean.

His hands moved over my body

Touching me lightly, lovingly,

Although he never said it.

He prayed that I could read him

He knew if anyone could

It could only be me.

He prayed that I could hear him

Through each touch his voice was amplified

And his heart was exposed

In those big, blue eyes.

He entered me.

Each thrust inside of me

He left a little part of his soul

His eyes were sad

As they stared into mine

Our bodies rocking to a melancholy

Song.

I could see that he was praying.

Praying to a God he wanted to forget.

Praying to a God he felt had abandoned him.

Praying to God that if he could only grant him

This one thing,

He would forgive Him.

I could see as his eyes closed,

And his passion grew

His thrusting becoming harder,

That he was cursing Him,

And pleading with Him

Begging Him,

And hating Him.

Just do this for me!

He was screaming at God.

Each time he pulled out

And pushed himself back

Into me

He was praying to leave

Everything he ever wanted

Everything he ever desired

His hopes, his dreams, his failures,

And success,

He was praying to leave himself

Within me

So that it could grow

And bloom

And become the beauty he knew it could be.

He was praying,

As he exerted himself

And spilled into me

That this would leave him empty.

He collapsed on me

His body heaving with

Divine conflict.

We lay there,

Our bodies sticking together

With the thin layer of adhesive

Sweat,

Our hearts pounding

Our breath labored.

He was thanking God

For finally granting his

Prayers.

He lifted his head,

His eyes smiling

In ecstasy,

Passionate ecstasy,

And internal peace.

This is all I have

His flesh whispered

This is all of me,

His eyes articulated,

And I gave it all, to you.

He never said it aloud,

I know he never could

And mean it

In the volume that it

Filled his heart.

He laid his head on my chest

Listening to my heart.

My heart, was now his heart,

He gave it to me then,

Knowing I would keep it safe

Allowing it to take root;

Knowing I would have the

Strength

He didn’t, so that those beautiful

Conquests he wanted to make

Would not slowly die within him

But could live

As he wanted

In me.

He left,

A vacant soul

And empty being,

Satisfied,

Having made amends

With God,

Both of them deciding to deny

The other

Forgetting this granted miracle

And move on,

As strangers, who once shared

An afternoon of understanding.

He felt nothing as I cried,

But I ached for the broken hearts

Of two.

He regretted nothing

Because he knew,

And his eloquent eyes told me,

That one day I would understand,

If anyone could

It could only be me,

That this was the only way

He could show me.