Chapter 21

I shrugged off the hand that was insistently shaking my shoulder and pulled my comforter over my head. It was Sunday and after spending a week doing hard physical labour I needed my one day of rest, especially since I hadn’t gone to bed until after four in the morning. Well, that was my own fault since I had felt like I was full of helium ever since AJ had dropped me home. No amount of running around with Emily, shrieking over it with Missy or sore muscles could have calmed me down.

The shaking stopped and I snuggled deeper into my comforter, sure they’d gone away, when I felt a poke at the back of my head, I grunted, the hand withdrew and then I was being prodded repeatedly. I groaned, wondering if I ignored it, they’d stop but since neither of my parents would poke that meant it was Emily, and she wouldn’t leave until acknowledged.

“Emily, what?” I asked sleepily, pulling the blanket and rolling over so I was facing her. I rubbed a hand over my face in an attempt to keep my eyes open then squinted at her. She didn’t say anything, just stared at me forlornly, her hands gripping the bottom of her nightgown with her hair floating around her face, attempting to create its own force field.

Can I sleep with you? I rubbed my eyes as she painstakingly signed this out then glanced at my alarm clock, frowning as I realised it was just minutes before ten thirty. Emily was an early riser; she should’ve been monopolizing the television not asking to cuddle with me.

“What’s wrong?” She made a hushing motion with her hand, creeping closer to my bed as I shoved myself up on my elbow to look down at her.

“Are you--” I cut myself off as once again she shushed me and signed as best as I could realising that my parents were probably still sleeping and without my hearing aids I was probably speaking a lot louder than necessary.

Are you not feeling well? She paused for a moment then nodded as I reached over and placed the back of my hand against her forehead, then switched it to my palm. She felt fine to me, but I moved over, lifting the blanket as she scrambled up onto my bed, jabbing me as she tried to get comfortable since apparently in her mind, sleeping in my bed, meant sleeping sprawled on my chest.

I waited until she had stopped moving before repositioning the two of us so we were both comfortable then after smoothing her hair down so it wasn’t in my face I hugged her to me while making a mental note to comb her hair before drifting back to sleep.

I woke up two hours later hungry and slightly unnerved since Emily was in my personal space staring at me. I rubbed my eyes and started to ask her why she was staring then just shook my head and sat up.

I attempted to climb over her when she latched onto my arm. I pulled myself free of her and stood up.

“Emily, what is the matter with you?” She just stared, eyes huge as if she was trying not to cry. I raised my eyebrows at her and she might’ve said something but I couldn’t tell since she chose that moment to start playing with her lip.

“Did you do something? Emily, no, you have to look at me actually, wait.” I grabbed my hearing aids and put them in, which was a bit pointless since I’d have to take them out to shower.

“Now, did you do something?” She shook her head but didn’t lose the puppy dog eyes.

“Are you sure? Do you need me to do something?” Again she shook her head but when I tried to walk away she grabbed my hand. Frustrated now, since I really had to use the bathroom I grabbed my hand away from her and glared.

“What is it Emily?”

“I don’t want you to leave me.”

“I’m just going to use the bathroom and then come back. I’m not going far,” I said, my tone a lot gentler now that it occurred to me that she had probably had a nightmare and that was why she was currently clinging to me. She nodded, hugging my comforter to her.

“We’ll go to the park today or something alright?” I smiled at her and she nodded again, perking up slightly but not by much. Deciding I’d get her to tell me what was bothering her later I headed to the bathroom, wrinkling my nose at my reflection since I’d washed my hair the day before and had gone with a quick towel dry instead of my normal routine so I could dance around my room without my mom popping in.

Fifteen minutes later I was clean, wide awake and regretting my bright idea of going au natural. I finally decided to let it be since it wasn’t like I was going to be home for the majority of the day and if not, I’d get my mom to fix it up for me. Opening the bathroom door, I almost ended up at the hospital as I tripped over Emily who was lying across the threshold, apparently waiting for me to come out.

“Son of a --! Ems, come on! You can’t just lie anywhere! No, I won’t shush! Help me up.” I moved so I was no longer sprawled across the floor, glad that our set up was large enough that there had been no wall directly in front of the bathroom. Emily looked nervous, but grabbed both of my hands to ‘help’ me seeing as how she’d jumped to her feet after I had taken my graceful swine dive.

She tugged, leaning backwards as she tried to lift someone who had more than 100 pounds on her. I was going to lift myself up, really, I was but she looked so earnest that I decided to mess with her a bit, starting to get up then falling back on my bum.

“Judi! You have to help! I’m not an ant, I can’t lift heavy things.”

“Who are you calling heavy?” I asked her, pretending to be affronted. She paused, unsure for a moment just as I tugged my hands in towards my body before she realised what was happening. She let out a shriek as she practically flew towards me, going off balance easily.

She let out another shriek as I began to tickle her, gasping and then laughing before wriggling loose and attempting to tickle me. We ended up rolling around for a bit, me being careful not to actual put any weight on her since despite what had started all of this I was heavy compared to her.

Some way, it had turned from a tickling contest to ogre vs. princess knight, and I, the ogre, had finally gotten to my feet and was making a huge deal of biting her side as she thrashed around when I heard a knock . Spinning, I almost fell backward as I was greeted by the sight of my mother looking frustrated and of Hilda, my social worker, or more accurately, the bitch that just wouldn’t leave me alone with her hand raised to hit the wall again.

“And you said she was still sleeping. Hello, Judith.” She bared her teeth in what I’m sure she thought was a good imitation of a grin before dropping her eyes to Emily then back up again. I glanced at my mother before removing my mouth from Emily’s side, carefully maneuvering her so that she was sort of sitting on my hip, and looked from my mother back to Hilda.

At 5’7, Hilda was quite a bit taller than my mother was, and had the presence of a pitbull. She wasn’t an ugly woman but every time I saw her it was a nasty shock, as if I had stubbed my toe or something. Just a sharp pain that shot up from one part of your body straight to your heart.

“Why is sh--, um… hi? How are you?” I fumbled over my words as I started to ask why she was there, and then backtracked since that was rude and years of her hovering had me conditioned with an irrational fear of messing up in front of her.

“I’m good. Hello, Emily.” She turned her shark smile on Emily who responded by hiding her face in the crook of my neck. Her smile dimmed and she turned her attention back to me. “Shouldn’t you be putting her down? She’s a bit big to be holding in your hands isn’t she?”

I tightened my hold on her, and then pretended to brush hair out of my face so she wouldn’t notice that I was glaring at her.

“I see your mother still hasn’t figured out how to deal with your hair.”

“Not to be rude, but why are you here?” I asked, tired of listening to her already and not liking the anxiety that was building up in my stomach.

“Hmm, well, some things have been brought to my attention and I thought I should check in with you. Maybe Emily should go read a book or something while we talk.”

My heart skipped and I nodded, knowing my fear of her was irrational since I was legally adopted. I was no longer a foster child and she had no control over my situation anymore. Still, as I brought Emily to her room, my hands were trembling slightly. Making a tight fist I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down.

“Okay, I want you to read this and this okay? And then afterwards, um, change your clothes and we’ll go to the park okay?” I said setting her down and grabbing some books off her shelf. She nodded, not looking pleased.

“She won’t take you away will she? I ‘member one time, she came, and you were gone forever and ever.”

“I was gone for a week, and that was just because I had to see a doctor. I’m not going anywhere this time. So come, give me kisses and then do what I said alright?” I squatted so she could give me a quick kiss before getting up and going downstairs.

I was dragging my feet as I made my way to the living room where my parents were sitting tensely on the love seat and Hilda had taken control of the armchair. I looked around for a place to sit, but I really didn’t want to be by myself on the sofa so I perched on the arm of the love seat, and felt the muscles in my neck get even tighter when my mother didn’t tell me to move, just took a hold of my hand.

The silence seemed to get heavier once I had arrived though Hilda sipped at her coffee as if she hadn’t a care in the world.

“So, Hilda, how um, why um… what are you doing in this part of town?” I asked scrambling for something to ask that wouldn’t seem rude. She held up a finger as she took a bite out of one of the lady fingers my mother had brought out and I inhaled deeply and looked her over, trying to see if there was a way to guess why she had arrived by her appearance.

Her dirty blond hair, was pulled back into a smooth ponytail, which was a bit strange since at this time of day, she would’ve spent quite a few hours already poking her nose into some other child’s business, but since it was a Sunday maybe she was taking a break. However, that wouldn’t explain why she was in my house and dressed to the nines, her suit sitting a bit loosely on her frame but still very business like. Maybe she needed a lawyer and thought my dad would do it pro bono?

She cleared her throat and I refocused my attention on her face, hoping my expression was one of the polite interest instead of dread.

“Well, as you know, after you were adopted, my boss decided to leave your case file with your aunt even though I had taken over for her when it became apparent that there might be a conflict of interest. Now, due to her pregnancy I’ve been handed her cases and I glanced at yours, just because you never answer my follow up phone calls, and I noticed something extremely interesting a few weeks ago.” She took another sip of coffee and I tightened my hold on my mom’s hand, not liking how she was dragging it out.

“And what did you notice?”

She ignored my question and kept up her dialogue. Another reason I couldn’t stand her. She wouldn’t leave me alone and when you want to know why she’s harassing you, she answers with this huge pointless back story.

“And then, a just a little while ago, I get a call from your Vice Principal who wanted to let me know that you were being bullied at your school.”

“Why would she call you? It’s none of your business.”

“Apparently it’s become customary in regards to you, for the school to contact your social worker after you got bullied in middle school and your father got both the principal and VP fired.”

“She was being picked on and then stopped going to school. The office didn’t notify us because as a black foster child they figured it was to be expected and that she had run off. I think we handled it in the best way possible for that situation,” my mother said tersely.

“Hmm, yes well, I guess she figures she handled it the best way she could. Now listen, I’m going to cut to the chase. I was against placing you with these people from the start. No, Judith listen. I am all for seeing my children placed and happy but this set up felt wrong, but then I watched you change from a girl who was afraid of everything to who you are now, and I thought, hmm, maybe I was wrong. But now… now it seems I had a good reason to be worried even if I wish I didn’t.”

I stared at her uncomprehending as my mother squeezed my hand.

“I don’t get it. I’m happy I’m adopted, And I’m sorry that I got into a fight with a girl that was harassing me but I don’t see you popping up every time someone called me a retard, deaf, or spit on me, and you didn’t help with the clean up so I don’t see why you’re here now.”

She looked at me then dropped her eyes to my hands, my mother’s hands and seemed uncomfortable for the first time since the conversation started.

“Judith, I’ve been here since nine o’clock going over your adoption papers with your parents. It has been brought to my attention, that it, some people believe that it was fixed.” She kept staring at me and just as it occurred to me that she was the reason Emily had probably crawled into bed with me, I stared at my parents not sure why they would need to be checking my adoption papers.

“Yeah, wasn’t there an issue with my birth certificate I think? But that got sorted out years ago.”

“Apparently, someone who is related to you, blood related, is saying that they were coerced into signing your adoption papers.”

“Coerced, what are you talking about? You think my parents threatened my birth parents? I was in a hospital for who knows how many months and aside from my aunt Lily, her best friend and her brother, no one outside of social services came to see me.” As soon as the words left my mouth I knew they were a lie, but I couldn’t take them back. I couldn’t. My mother got up, letting go of my hand and I swallowed wishing I had water or juice or something as my throat went dry.

Hilda, for her part sighed in obvious impatience.

“No one said anything about threats. And I’m not saying your parents don’t love you. But the person is claiming that someone in your family, and I’m not saying it was the Blakes, paid your mother to get her to let them take you.”

I opened my mouth then closed it resisting the urge to fan myself as I got hot all over, and my whole body, particularly my scalp, began to prickle.

“I still don’t understand why you’re here. It’s a lie. And even if it was true, any woman who would sell her kid to strangers doesn’t deserve to have them.”

“Judith, I know this is hard but you have to think of the repercussions…”

“No! You listen! My mother never visited me not once! And she didn’t do anything when someone beat me so bad I had to be hospitalized and she never stopped him from coming into my room so no! I don’t want to listen to you anymore!”

Her gaze sharpened as my words got more incoherent, slurring together as I started to lose control of myself. My mother appeared with a glass of water as my chest heaved and I scrubbed my hand over my face roughly before taking it and drinking it.

“Judith, I understand, but the fact that your aunt has hidden these accusations for so long makes it appear as if there is some truth to it. And your parents wouldn’t let you visit your father when he requested it. I don’t want to take you away, I don’t even know if I can but we need to uncover the truth here. If this is true, the Blakes have technically kidnapped you.”

I blinked back tears, feeling out of control as I struggled to make sense of everything. My mother however, seemed to be in full control of herself.

“We are her parents, not the Blakes, not those two. But her parents. And I do not like the fact that you have the audacity to come in here and make accusations you can’t back up in any way shape or form. I allowed you to come into our home and check the adoption papers, which, as you have said yourself are perfectly legit. We let you speak to Judith after you promised you wouldn’t upset her and then you come and say we bought her? Bitch, are you fucking serious?” I cringed, shocked as my mother swore, something she had never done before.

“Maybe I should go,” Hilda said, looking warily at my mother who was not only ten years younger than she was but also a lot shorter.

“No. Because you are keeping things from us and we’re not allowing you to speak to Judith until we know about it. You did not say anything about her father this morning. You didn’t say anything about the principal calling and you sure as hell never mentioned kidnapping. So, Judith, love, can you please go and bring your sister to the park? Because if she’s going to try and take you away, you better believe it’s going to be after she fully discloses everything she knows,” my father said in his lawyer voice. If I hadn’t known him I would’ve thought he was perfectly calm, but there was just something in how flat his voice was that let me know he was on the edge.

I nodded, standing up so quickly I felt dizzy. A part of me wondered if I shouldn’t insist on staying, to learn whatever they learned but that part was being drowned out by the voice of my younger self that was screaming and I ran, almost falling up the stairs as my brain tried to pull up memories that were better left forgotten.

“Emily! Emily! Let’s go.” I shoved open my sister’s door to see her sitting on the bed staring at her picture book.

“We’re going now? But I haven’t finished reading the first book.”

“That’s okay. We can bring it with us, okay? Just put on your coat and socks and, and… stay here, do not go downstairs, you understand? I’ll be right back, okay?” I spun around and ran to my room to grab my cell phone and wallet. As stopped as I caught sight of myself in my closet mirror as I reached for a sweater, my hair doing its attempt at an afro and my eyes wide and slightly red. I looked insane. I stopped myself and took a deep breath to calm myself.

I was taking my sister to the park, not running away; there was no reason for me to be so panicky. Calming down a bit I grabbed a scrunchie and a silk head scarf along with a hoodie then went back to Emily’s room.

“Are you okay, Judi? She’s not going to take you away is she?” I shook my head, hating that I had made her more afraid than she had been earlier.

“Are we leaving now?” I nodded, unable to talk since I had the scarf in my mouth as I tried to pull my hair into a pony tail. She watched fascinated as I struggled since she was used to my hair being down and as straight as I could get it.

“I want a scarf too, do my hair like that.” She said watching as I wrapped the head scarf around my temple, using it to hide the fly away strands as well as cover my ears, something I did almost automatically.

I bit back the urge to snap at her as the panic rose; sure that Hilda would just pull the social worker card as she had done once before and take me since I wasn’t at the age of majority. Shit, I wasn’t even sixteen.

“Fine. Just grab the comb and come here.” She did as I asked without arguing, and didn’t make a sound as I parted her hair and put it in two large bunches, twisting them instead of doing plaits and then putting a cloth head band on her.

“Happy?” She nodded, pulling on one of the pigtails as I checked to make sure she had put on all the clothes I had put on the bed and that she was wearing socks. I didn’t waste any time after that, not even bothering to grab snacks and drinks as I usually did when taking her to the park. Just threw her coat on, shoved her gloves in my pocket and after making her put her shoes on we were out the door. I didn’t slow down until our house was out of sight, and even then I only did so because she was running to keep up.

“I’m sorry babe, are you okay?” I asked as I realised she was breathing heavy. I forgot how small she was sometimes, and my fear had made me put myself over here.

“Yeah, I’m a big girl, you don’t have to worry”, she panted. I smiled down at her, and then frowned as I noticed how red her nose had gotten.

“Ems, where’s your hat?”

“Oh. I forgot it, you have my gloves though.” I nodded, biting my lip hard enough to feel pain because of how stupid I was acting. How could I forget her hat?

I made her stand still as I put on her gloves and made sure her jacket was zipped up all the way to her chin. Taking a hold of her hand again, we walked to the park, her skipping happily since once we had exited the house she no longer felt any pressure. I wish I could’ve said the same. Every car that passed had me looking over my shoulder and I had to hold my breath quite a few times in an attempt to control my breathing.

Once at the park, Emily sees someone she knows and after giving me a pleading look she runs off to play with her friend. I move to a swing where I can see her easily. Far enough away that she can do her own thing, but close enough that she can see me and show off, and more importantly, I could get to her if we needed to run.

Swinging absently, I pulled my phone out, needing to talk to someone about what I had just heard but snapping the phone closed as I automatically dialed Missy’s number letting it ring twice before I came to my senses. She didn’t know about my being adopted, and as nice as she had been about everything else, I don’t know how I felt about telling her about this. All my other friends had seemed nice enough at first and this, this was something I didn’t want to get out, I couldn’t handle this getting out.

I flipped the phone open and shut a few times, before I started to send Lisa a text message. Again I stopped because when was the last time I had spoken to her? Halloween? And now I’d call her when I was confused just to dump on her when I’d pretty much forgot about her when my life had been going great? That was something Bridget would do and I was not Bridget. I closed the phone, whimpering and reaching to tug on my hair only to remember too late that it was in a stupid ponytail. I tugged on my bottom lip hard enough to ache instead, needing something to settle me.

I started to dial AJ’s number, even going so far as to press the call button but I cancelled it before it even started to ring. I definitely couldn’t call him.

My fingers beat a nervous staccato on my thigh as I tried to think. I stared at the phone, feeling so damn lonely as I tried to think of someone I could call who I wouldn’t inconvenience. I couldn’t call any of my cousins because, well, they’d tell their parents and they didn’t need this, especially since I didn’t really know what this was. I moved my hand to rub at my chest, not liking the thought that tried to slip out. The one that said that maybe they would think it would be better to give me up without fighting. But no one was taking me away it was a misunderstanding.

I clenched my right hand and then suddenly I was dialing a number, pressing the call button and listening breathlessly then hanging up after the fourth ring. If I couldn’t call Missy, I sure as hell couldn’t call AJ. He was probably in worse shape than I was since he’d gone straight from my Grandma’s to work.

I rubbed at my eyes as they began to burn, hoping everything was alright at home. I heard a shriek and I glanced up, making sure Emily was still playing where I could see her when my phone rang, I checked the caller ID, pausing as Missy’s name flashed at me, before picking up.

“Hello?”

“Judi, hola, why’d you hang up before? Realise you had already talked my ear off about you and your novio?” She asked laughingly. My throat closed up as she reminded me that not even a full day ago I’d been beyond giddy because everything in my life had been looking up.

“Oh yeah, it was um, no reason, wrong number I guess.” There was silence on the other line for a moment and when she did speak she no longer sounded amused.

“Judi, Judith, are you okay? Que pasa?”

“Nothing.”

“It doesn’t sound like nothing. Hold on a sec,” she said, putting me on hold as a beep on the phone signified another call. I waited, keeping my gaze on Emily who was chasing another girl, putting her whole body into running.

“Alright, that was AJ and apparently you called him twice and hung up both times.” I frowned at that, and shook my head.

“What? I only called him once.” The first time didn’t count, I hadn’t even let it ring.

“Not what he says Judi. Where are you? I hear kids.”

“The park. My parents needed me out of the house, its okay. I’m sorry for bothering you, thanks for calling back though. I have to go.”

“Judith, don’t hang up on me. What’s wrong?”

“Seriously, nothing.”

“Then why do you sound like you’re about to bawl? Judith?”

“Bye, see you tomorrow.” I hung up before she could say anything, knowing she’d be irritated with me, especially when I didn’t answer her phone call the three times she tried to call me back.

Instead I shoved it in my pocket and went over to where Emily was taking her from the man who had been about to help her with the monkey bars. I smiled at him, since it was very nice of him to help her, but I didn’t feel comfortable until I saw one of the boys Emily had been playing with run to him and call him Dad.

After getting her across the bars, and then putting her on top, Emily wheedled me into a game of Billy Goats Gruff, with me being the Troll. I didn’t get caught up in it as I usually did, though I don’t think she or the other children noticed, as they were all busy running around.

It was only as the first set of kids I was playing with start to leave that I decided to check my phone, skimming through the missed calls display to check the time. It was past two and none of the numbers from the calls I had missed belonged to my parents.

I closed the phone then on impulse sent a quick text to Lisa, just to check in on her then sent one to Vince, because when we’d been younger when something big happened to one of us, the other two tended to have something going on as well and my mood dipped even lower as the full impact of my situation hit me.

I had absolutely no idea what was going on in Lisa’s life. And Vince, fully had a baby and was apparently part of a gang now. And this was all because I had ignored them to focus on people who I couldn’t trust at all, who I wasn’t even tempted to call when something like this hit me. Maybe that’s why things had to get rough when my life was beginning to look up. Karma had looked at my life and was punishing me for being a selfish bitch.

“Judi!”

“Oh, hey Ems, you want me to play with you?”

“No, well, yes, but your phone’s ringing and I’m hungry.” She looked at me expectantly and I answered it after checking the screen and it showed up as a number I didn’t know.

“Hello?”

“Judith? Why is it that after AJ has called me to find out where you are, and then Missy calls to yell at me for not telling her what’s wrong with you, I get some sad ass little message from you. You okay?” Vince asked, sounding a bit breathless as a child cried in the background. I took a deep breath and got ready to lie, then stopped myself.

“Hilda’s at my house right now.”

“Really? What for? She wants to scar you for life again, hit you with one of her special curses? Evil bitch.”

I smiled wryly, glad that my reaction to her was shared by someone else. “Yeah, actually.”

There was silence and for a moment all I could hear was a baby crying in the background.

“Wait? What? I thought she backed off after that dragging you out kicking and screaming thing.”

“Yes, well, hold on a second, Emily, go play on the swings okay? We’ll go get something to eat in a little while,” I said smiling at her though I had no idea what we could go get to eat. There was a small plaza near by, but what was walking distance for me would be a journey and a half for her.

“Judith? Why is Hilda at your house? Haven’t your parents realised every time she comes by something bad happens?”

“Apparently some asshole has decided they want to file a report or something against my parents. Supposedly the adoption wasn’t legit. So they’re going to ruin my life for some jerk who didn’t want me until now, and I get the feeling she wants to take me again. I called AJ and Missy to talk because, you know, I didn’t want to be one of those friends who only calls you when I need something but then I can’t talk to them about this sort of stuff you know?”

“Maybe the person doesn’t want to take you away, maybe they just want to meet you? Have you thought about that? Maybe they just want you to know that you have family,” Vince said cautiously. I snorted and shook my head.

“No, Vince, it’ll be like your mother trying to take you.” I was tempted to add ‘but worse’, but to be honest, there was nothing worse than his mother. It wasn’t even that she was abusive so much as she was clingy to the point of being emotionally destructive. She was one of those sad women who had a child to have someone to love her when she was too young to know how to care for it, so she smothered him when she was clean, and abused him when she was on something. Or used too, now he just had to visit her.

“Yeah, except if you meet this person you won’t have to try and explain to them that the reason you set off metal detectors is because when they were cracked out they broke your arm. Every single fucking time.”

“Has she seen your son?” I asked, wishing I hadn’t used his mother as an example, but not wanting to change the subject if he was willing to talk about it.

“No. I haven’t seen her since before he was born. Apparently she’s in Quebec now, her new boyfriend is a drug dealer or some shit. She sent him gifts though. Do you really not want to meet this person?”

“My life before I became Judith Blake was shit and doesn’t exist. Understood? And don’t tell Missy or AJ about this alright? Missy doesn’t know I’m adopted and AJ, he knows but I don’t think he knows and if I see him right now… just, I think I should be alone.”

“Oh, well, hmm, I guess I’ll just thank you for putting Missy in a position where she had to call me. I now have her number and the wooing shall begin. I think I’m going to call her and leave a message. Maybe sing some Maxwell, or even Trey Songz, you know LOL Smiley Face. I heard you female types like the smiley face.”

I snorted, unsure whether to laugh at him or try and figure out what was with the abrupt change of subject.

“Yeah, you do that, hope your ex is fully capable of handling that baby by herself when you piss Missy off and she decides to end you.” It was his turn to snort.

“Hey, I know what I’m doing, I’ll just hit her with my panty dropping play list. And it’ll be on.”

I rolled my eyes, then froze as I realised I had lost track of my sister. I let out a sigh of relief as I saw her, then frowned as I realised she was talking so some tall man.

“Vince, I think I’m about to get arrested because some dude is trying to talk to Emily and he doesn’t …” I trailed off as said ‘dude’ pulled his hat off and put it on Emily’s head, before straightening up and staring at me.

“Vince, want to explain why AJ’s at the park?” I asked, my voice dropping to a whisper as I slowed down and giving AJ an experimental wave. He just stared back. I could practically hear the shrug in Vince’s voice as he answered.

“Well, he wouldn’t stop calling me, and then Missy called me, and since I can’t come see you, I figured it would be best to let him comfort you in person, because he might be a dumb shit, but I mean, he’s your dumb shit.”

“Traitor.”

“Hey, you’re sleeping with him, how was I supposed to know you didn’t trust him?” I stopped walking and turned around so that my back was to AJ. I knew he probably couldn’t read lips but you can never be too careful.

“I am not sleeping with him! And I do trust him! I just don’t want to be a burden, ugh, forget it. I’ll talk to you later, text Lisa and make sure she’s okay. She still hasn’t responded to my text.” I didn’t wait for his response, just hung up before turning around to deal with AJ.

“Hey.”

“Hey, who was that just now?”

“Oh, um, just Vince, calling to let me know you guys were worried, when you didn’t have to be. I’m fine, sorry I made you leave work,” I said as I took in the fact that he was indeed still in his Pizza uniform.

AJ stared at me his eyes once again super unnerving if only for the fact that they seemed even lighter than usual, something I knew was a trick of the light but was no less unsettling. He didn’t seem ready to say anything so Emily ended up speaking, reaching over to grab AJ’s hand as she stared up at him.

“I’m hungry, did you bring pizza with you today?”

“Emily, don’t beg!” I reached over to take her hand, or pinch her, but AJ tugged her away, before crouching down and smiling at her.

“No, it’s okay. If you want, when we go back to your house I’ll order us pizza there, how about it?”

She nodded rapidly, then stopped, her hand reaching up to clutch his hat before it slid off of her head and frowned.

“Oh, we can’t go back home.”

“No? Why?” AJ asked, sliding a glance my way as I took a step forward.

“Because we have to hide Judi from the witch, daddy’s going to go call when we can come back home.”

“Emily”, I started not sure what to say to her but at the same time knowing I shouldn’t let her keep talking.

“The witch huh, hmm, that’s no good, I guess we’ll have to go find Marina and do something else then.” Emily grinned, her hand clutched to the fitted he had placed on her head and I started to protest, wanting to point out that I was grounded but unable to use that as an excuse since I was already out of the house.

“And anyway, I already left work two hours before my shift ended to come see you, might as well spend time together. Emily, didn’t you want to show me something cool?” AJ asked indicating the park. She nodded and ran off, making sure to scream that we should watch her. I didn’t move as AJ walked over to me, not sure whether to be pleased he had left to look for me, or irritated that he had manipulated me into a situation of his choosing.

“Witch?” I shrugged, not wanting to get into it, not after I had finally calmed down.

“Juels, Judith, hablar conmigo, por favor. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.” I started to shrug again, but as he pulled me into a hug, the denial couldn’t leave my lips, and instead of responding I just ended up wrapping my arms around his waist and taking deep breaths to prevent myself from crying again.

“It’s just, I’m overreacting. My ex social worker stopped by and stirred things up. She’s, I don’t know, she’s supposedly passionate about her job but I think she just hates my aunt.”

“Why’d she stop by?”

I shrugged, untangling myself from him and walking a bit closer to where Emily was currently staring at the monkey bars.

“You need help, Ems?” She shook her head, clutching to one of the poles and watched as another child, who was obviously older than her do, it with ease before climbing down herself and moving to another part of the gym equipment.

“Juels”, AJ began than stopped and looked at me grabbing my hand and holding it in his not saying anything for a moment.

“I really suck at this coercing thing, so this time I’ll leave it alone, but for future reference, if something is bothering you, short of idiot shit like you feeling fat, you are not being a burden or bothering me, alright?”

I nodded, and gave his hand a squeeze, the heaviness I had been feeling even after speaking to Vince letting up quite a bit.

“AJ! Are you watching!? Lookit!” I pulled away as Emily called out to AJ and watched amused as she proceeded to hang upside down from one of the small little gymnast type poles, which was actually quite an accomplishment since I had no idea how she got up there.

My smile dropped however as she scrambled up higher balancing unsteadily on the thing bit of metal in a slight crouch as she did so.

Just as I was about to call to her she jumped, hands out in front of her aiming for big kids monkey bars. I let out a shriek, sprinting even before the sound had left my mouth. Her fingers caught the side of the monkey bar and her momentum kept her body moving so that her legs were almost horizontal with the bars, almost like a gymnast than she was falling and it was her turn to scream.

I dove for her, catching her before she hit the ground and bit back a swear as my shoulder and head slammed into one of those huge metal poles used on the park equipment. I sat up, terrified, irritated, but happy that I’d walked closer earlier because I wouldn’t have made it otherwise.

I sat up, keeping my arms around Emily who was bawling loudly and then drew her away from me to make sure she was alright.

“Emily, did you hurt anything? Are you bleeding?” I asked as I checked her over, running my hands lightly over her torso to make sure I hadn’t squeezed her too tight or landed on her when I’d grabbed her.

She didn’t answer but her tears seemed more a result of shock than of pain, and when I did my quick check she didn’t make any sounds of protest. I grabbed her face between my hands as I brushed away her tears pulling her to me for a quick kiss before I began to yell at her.

“What were you think?! Have you lost your ever loving mind?!” She shook her head, still crying. I started to say more but AJ interrupted, turning my head sharply to look at him, his face a mixture of worry and annoyance. He wiped his hand across my temple and held it up for me to see.

“You can yell at her later, you’re bleeding.” I stared at him blankly then at the red on his fingers and my head was suddenly pounding.

“Can you stand?” I nodded as he helped me up, taking what looked like a child’s face cloth from a woman with a baby and pressing it to my wound.

“I’m bleeding? I didn’t even feel it,” I said reaching up to press my heel against my face, holding the handkerchief in place as AJ released me and picked up Emily who was still crying. Taking my hand, he began to walk, towing me after him as if I were a piece of luggage.

“AJ, slow down, I’m fine, I just need to sit down.” My shoulder was hurting, I think I might have hurt my knee since it was throbbing, and sand was beginning to get into my eyes, I just needed to stop and think, and not get pulled along like a trolley on a toy train.

“You can sit in the car, I have a first aid kit in the back.” I didn’t bother to protest since Emily had moved so she was staring at me, and though she had stopped wailing she looked ready to start at the slightest provocation.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened, does it hurt?” She asked tearfully and I shook my head, closing my eyes briefly as my brain seemed to rattle at the movement. I didn’t speak for a second and we were suddenly at the car. I frowned at that but chose to answer Emily’s question instead of the fact that I had apparently entered a time warp since his car had still been a fair distance a way when she had spoken.

“This is what happens when you act like you have no sense. Why would you jump?” I asked watching as AJ buckled her in, before helping me into the car though I didn’t need help and it was more awkward than anything. I twisted around in the seat to look at her,

“Because, I saw the boy do it and he wasn’t that bigger than me, so I thought I could do the monkey bars without help. It hurts doesn’t it? It looks really hurtful.”

I straightened up and sighed as pain shot through my shoulder.

“Yes, actually it does hurt just a little. And the term is painful in this context Emily, not hurtful.” She didn’t say anything and I was getting ready to look back at her when AJ opened my car door and made me turn to look at him, his mouth tightening as he did so.

Placing a white box on my lap, he removed a handkerchief and made a sound that seemed suspiciously close to the clucking noise my grandma would make in this situation before wetting it and wiping my forehead.

“Open that for me please. Okay, I’m going to ask you some questions and I want you to answer them as quickly as possible, alright?”

“Okay.” I opened the kit not really paying attention as I stared at him, mainly caught up in the way the light was glinting off of his hair. I had a thing for curly hair, and even though his were short I wanted to tug on it. Not hard, you know, but just to see the curl of it.

“Judi!” I blinked and realised that while I was admiring his hair, he’d been asking me something.

“Sorry, what did you say?” He looked a bit worried, his hand no longer cleaning my face.

“I asked you what’s one plus one.”

“Two”.

“Four and six?”

“Ow, why do you have disinfectant? That actually stings,” I said as he sprayed something on my face.

“Because there’s no point in a first aid kit if you just let the germs fester, answer the question.”

“Ten.”

“Five times five?”

“Twenty five.” He seemed satisfied with my answers, and moved the wet cloth to look at the cut and then moving with a sureness that I thought came from having done it before, placed gauze over it and then taped it down using butterfly bandages.

“How many fingers am I holding up?” He held up two fingers, than three moving them as I answered each and asked me a few other questions.

“Okay, you just seem a bit disoriented so I’m almost positive you don’t have a concussion.”

“Why are you almost positive?”

“Because I’ve given and received enough concussions in my life to be able to check the signs, the swelling should be down by tomorrow though,” he said, still in the crouching position as he stroked my cheek.

“It’s swollen?”

“It’s getting there.”

“Are you serious? If it doesn’t go down then this will be the second week in a row I’ll be going to school looking like I close doors with my face.” He didn’t say anything as I reached up to pull at my lip, just grabbed my hand and held it, his right hand still stroking the side of my face.

My stomach began to tighten, but not in the bad way it had when I’d been around Hilda, this time it actually felt nice and I started to lean into his palm when his fingers graze the bandage and something else occurred to me.

“So another reason for people to call me Scarface, and this time it’s self inflicted. Stupid Hilda, I am not cute enough to keep taking all this damage!”

“Don’t say that. Don’t, if you’re going to complain do it but don’t put yourself down alright? Low self esteem is not cute, you are. Very cute, if I say so.” I snorted at that, though I was beginning to get sort of tingly.

“Smooth, insult me but compliment me at the same time.”

“It’s not an insult if it’s true.” I started to deny his words when a high pitched giggle reminded me that we had company and I didn’t bother to turn around as Emily spoke, her voice sounding suspiciously close to me for someone who was supposed to be buckled up in the back.

“Are you going to kiss? Because you know, boy kisses cause cooties, but, kisses can heal booboos too, Mommy’s kisses are magic.”

“Emily, shut up and buckle up. AJ, where are we going?” I asked as he pulled another one of those ninja moves, moving from my side of the car to his in what felt like seconds.

“To your house.” I shook my head before the words had left his mouth, not feeling that suggestion at all.

“We can’t, she’s still there, my parents will call us when she’s gone. Just drop me off at, um… my grandma’s. She can take care of me.”

“She’s at Mama Maki’s family thing today isn’t she?” He asked and I wrinkled my nose at his reminder. I’d forgotten about it though she’d informed both of us about it yesterday.

“Oh, right. Um… then I guess you could, um…’ I trailed off as I came up with nothing. Tiffany probably wouldn’t mind having us over for a little while, especially if AJ was the one doing the asking but I didn’t want to owe her anything.

AJ started up the car and pulled away from the curb as I mulled over my options, dismissing almost everyone who popped up.

“Wait, where are you going? Wouldn’t it be better for you to wait until I have a place?”

“Don’t worry, I have somewhere in mind.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, my house.” I stiffened and I could feel him giving me a sidelong glance as Emily squealed happily.

“Is Marina there?! Can she play with me?!”

“Yeah, Mari should be there, all of my sisters are home today.” I tried to smile but I’m sure it came out looking constipated. Great, I was going to meet girls who hated my life and didn’t think I was good enough for their brother in my house clothes, with hair that was probably full of sand and my face all busted.

“That’s not a problem is it?” I waved the question away as if it was unimportant though I really wanted to know if he had lost his mind. His sisters were his family, the most important women in his life and they were going to see me when I looked liked Hellboy.

“No, not a problem at all.” I sunk a bit lower in my seat and closed my eyes hoping fervently that Emily’s acrobatic attempt would be the worst consequence of Hilda’s appearance. Silvia liked and Marina liked me, everything would be fine.

I managed to fall asleep in the car ride down, waking up only when Emily palmed my face attempting to crawl over me to get out since AJ’s seat didn’t move. Blinking I looked around, taking note that his house was one the edge of the government housing complexes, if not actually one of them. When he came to open my door he had his poker face on and it occurred to me that after seeing my home, he expected me to judge him.

I just smiled at him, taking his hand and then grabbing Emily who was keen to run ahead so she could surprise Mari.

“Okay, let’s do this.”

“You sound as if you’re preparing to enter hell.”

“That depends on your sisters. Hopefully they’ll be over Carmen and I won’t have to worry about them trying to beat me.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment and I faltered.

“They won’t try to beat me, will they?”

“No, they’ll be nice, promise, you’ll be fine.” I didn’t really believe him but I allowed him to lead me to the front door, wishing I’d had the sense to pick up Emily so I had something to hug when we entered and I was overpowered by noise.

“I thought you said just your sisters would be here.”

“No, I said they’d all be here for sure. People tend to drop by our house a lot, don’t worry, they’re harmless.” I loosened my grip on his hand when Mari came running out giving him a hug and surprising me by giving me one too before grabbing Emily and taking her away to play. Of course, my ease disappeared when Anita came out from one room to the side, apparently to see who had come in and upon seeing me curled her lip, spat out something to AJ in Spanish and then turned back into the room without even acknowledging me.

“I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“You’re my girlfriend, and she’ll accept it if I have to shove it down her throat. Come on you need to change, you have blood on your jeans.”

I glanced down only to notice he was right, and sighed. Yesterday was on the list of being one of the best days of my life, hard physical labour excluded and it seemed today was going to be my most mortifying. Joy.

Sorry for the long wait. School has been eating my life/free time, and on top of it this chapter was difficult to write and I'm still not sure what's wrong with it. I've rewritten it so many times and yet it's lacking something. Maybe I should've dropped more hints or something but I can't think of any other way to fix it at the moment.

Thanks for the patience, and enjoy. And if you can see, or think you see, why it feels off please point it out. I should be studying/working on assignments right now so review replies may be a while coming.

Thank you all for reviewing as well as people who have added me or the story to their faves/alerts list.