so here I chill in my dorm room; another night and another breath of relief that I can continue onward

that friend I thought was gone is close again; a sigh of amazement to reveal in

a bittersweet ciggarette that I exhale

another page in my novel is written; this time longer than the last and less angst filled

my family and my friends are at arms length and I've changed now

slowly but I now know myself (who that is shifts from day to day

but you can't change a person's basic nature...)

and that Kanji is learned one character at a time; that future is now slightly more attainable

i wipe that dirt away from my face; brush off the skinned knees

and let the paint flow from my fingers on a pallet that's any medium I choose

i'm like a glow-in-the-dark fantasy; a hallucination that won't give way

and I'll tilt my head and sing along to the music; it's sweet and loud and all my own

and I'll wake up only to discover this wasnt some dream

this is were I want to be; sitting in the morning of summer

rocking back and forth with you in my arms; "Thank you."