I found myself waking up on the floor again.
Second time this week.
He's been visiting me more frequently lately.
He calls himself 'Gareth'.
Sometimes, he would sneak in my room late at
night, and keep me company whenever
my insomnia was especially bad.
Things were okay, he was nice.
Until he started talking to me about things
that he wanted me to do.
I really did enjoy his visits, but not lately.
I can't believe I used to miss him
during the days.

I've been sleeping on the couch more often these days.
The upstairs is his domain, where he rests.
Or used to, that is. Until last night.
What happend last night, anyway?
Oh, nevermind.
I remember, and now that I do, I want to forget it.
You see, Gareth has been getting impatient with me.
When he gets like that, he can get...violent.
It's my fault, though.
If I did what he wanted, he wouldn't have to get like that.
I've been pleading with him lately.
Last night, he had me cowering in the corner again.
Like some lost, lonely child in the street.
Gareth always did know how to invoke emotion in me.
I can't refuse him.
I've done enough shameful things for him.
Do you think I would have pierced my cock of my own accord?
I really did try to tell him 'no', but he always
was very persuasive.

Yes, when Gareth came around, I felt like a prisoner.
He always made me feel like a prisoner to myself, though.
The first time he made me do something,
I knew this was going to get worse.
And it did.
That's the first time he hit me, I think.
Only, he didn't hit me, he made me hit myself.
The violence got progressively worse from there.
And it's still escalating.
One night, he made me burn myself with my
own cigarettes.
I thank him for that one, though, because
that was also the night I quit smoking.

I'm getting more and more frightened of him.
I know things only get worse with each of his visits.
I really don't want to have to do this.
He always makes me do things to myself.
I can handle a lot of things, but definitely not this.
Last night, Gareth asked me if one could rape themself.
He always got his answers.
(Yes.)

I tried to convince Megan last week.
She always was my favorite sister.
She at least came around.
Or, used to.
Gareth was shy around other people.
Like anyone actually came by the visit, though.
Except Megan.
She was the great.
Gareth liked to hide upstairs when she came.
Except last week was different, somehow.
He came down when I was trying to convince her
what was happening.
He didn't like that I was trying to stop his fun, though.
He whispered something in my ear.
His voice was torturously sweet.
Obnoxiously intoxicating, though.
Kind of like a sweet stickiness that gets caught in your throat.
It was overwhelming that night, and things got fuzzy...
And that was the last time I saw Megan.
I wish I could remember what happend that night.
He won't let me though.
I think it's Gareth's nice way of protecting me.

I honestly don't know why Gareth chose to come in,
and invade my life.
He says it's all in my head.
The answers are all there, if I would just look sometime.
But, I'm afraid to look.
I think he's setting up a trap, or something.
Nine times out of ten, Gareth just does things to hurt me.
It was a blissfully hurtful relationship.
I just can't believe he wants me to do this.
He wants me to rid myself of everything extraneous.
What he thinks is extraneous, that is.
He says I don't use my left arm...much.
Like, he said I didn't need hair anymore.
He told me to finish evolution's work.
So, I find myself shaving my whole body every night, now.
There is no doubt in my mind that he'll show up again tonight.
I think his appearances are going to become
every night occurences.
He promised me things are going to happen tonight.
He acts as if he's in my mind, sometimes.