Before I type anything that relates to me and moi’s life, then I just want to say that this writing is meant to be read by all the people who aren’t haters, and aren’t trolls. Of course, if you’re just some random person that hates this, then I don’t care, I guess. I just don’t want you to bash me with a bunch of flames and then bash my friends and bash everything. That wouldn’t be very nice. So, basically, if you don’t want to read this all (and honestly, I don’t mind if you don’t want to) then just click on that red X button the corner, to bring you back to reality! The nice version of reality, I mean.

This is pretty much written to communicate to my Twilight family until I’m not banned anymore. But I’ll probably still write after that. And hey, if I get a few nice reviews along the way then that would be pretty nice, too. This pretty much substitutes as a journal…or a place just to keep my thoughts. . I’ve tried having blogs so many times, it’s depressing. So here it is, my fictionpress writing. Enjoy, yes? Yes.

Day Four! March-27-2008

Today’s Thursday! I’m doing much better than how I was on Monday. Several times today, though, I was left alone with my thoughts. That’s not good at all. I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts. Makes me stare off to space and worry. I’ve been worrying a lot this week. I shouldn’t be worrying, but I am. You know what? I SHOULD be worrying. I should be getting of the computer and controlling myself but I’m not. And I don’t want to. Ugh. I’m just confused right now. Or I’m just unstable. Probably both of them. I just have to….i…I don’t know what I have to do. And now to change the subject! My sister just won a Panic at the Disco contest (runner up number 1) , and people keep saying that hers was horrible. She’s acting as if that doesn’t bother her, but I’m pretty sure it does. Even if only for a bit. I don’t know why someone would do that. Insult her like that, I mean. It’s ridiculous. But I’m done replying angrily now. Which is good. But I don’t know why I did that in the first place. My sister is usually mean to me. I don’t know why I do the things I do. Heyyy you know what? I think I’m about ready to post what happened on Sunday!

So, it was 1:45 AM. I was typing furiously on the computer, downstairs. I would have gone to sleep earlier, had it not been for that troll who came on. I was also bored, so I went on to…a website that was made. I typed “1:45. I really miss you sighs” and a lot of other..personal things. Anyways, then I heard someone coming downstairs. I closed the laptop. I hid under the table. I was safe, until my dad noticed me. He got pissed, because he usually gets pissed. And it was on a Monday morning! And I had to go to school in about 4 hours! So then I ran upstairs after he was done yelling. But then…he told my mother.

Not good. Not good at all. My mother always overreacts. And is overdramatic. So anyways, she pulls me out of bed why as im about to sleep. Oh jesus, I don’t like remembering this; it scared me. A lot. Anyways, she gets me into her room. swallows they start asking me questions. About who I was talking to. And why I was doing that at 1:45 in the morning…they swear, of course. They ask me if the guy I’m talking to is trying to scratches head er….traumatize me. Yeah, you know what I mean. I just don’t like typing the word out. I was scrambling to think of new lies. They were all lame.

“No……just a friend of a friend. My friend Kelsi. She moved here from California…….he moved to ..they were best friends…and he reads Twilight…so we were introduced.”

Yes, lame. Terrible ideas. So, then they threatened me. They said if I didn’t start telling the truth, they would go to the police department. My dad: “it doesn’t matter if she tells the truth. We’re still going to the police department.” At this point , I was full out scared. But god dammit, if that was taken to the police department I would never forgive myself. So, I continued to lie. That doesn’t make sense, I know, but then again, I don’t make sense. My dad got sick of this, soon though. So he fell asleep. But I was still left with the storm fury, my mother.

It was difficult, really. I was crying the whole way through. Pathetic? Yes. Do I care? No. At the moment, I was just wanting to get away from that place, of course. She kept repeating things, though. Like…really bad things.

“You’re supposed to be smart…..how could you be so stupid?!...we don’t trust you anymore…I don’t trust you anymore….”I really miss you” is what unmarried women who want sex say to men in 1:45 in the morning…..you’re stupid…..you’re ridiculous….do you see your sister? SHES not saying “I really miss you” to people in 1:45 in the morning!”

I can’t remember how the whole thing ended. I remember going to bed though..and thinking of breaking my promise to my fellow twilighters. The one to not to hurt myself. I was too tired though, so that’s a good thing. I went to sleep at about 3:00 AM and woke up at 6:00 AM.

The whole morning was very bad. I was fighting to keep my eyes open, and it was difficult. It didn’t help that everytime I thought about something IMDb or Chatzy related, I would immediately feel sick. It was all terrible, really. I could not even handle thinking about Twilight. I was on edge the whole day after that. And the day after that. And the day after that. But I’m fine today!

So that’s everything that happened…I’m sorry if it wasn’t as interesting as you hoped, ahah.

I’ll post more things tomorrow, though. I promise!

Love you all!

Liza (SwissArmyRomance)