A/N: Irregular iambic quat and then pentameter. An assignment for Writing Poetic Forms, and perhaps the trippiest poem I’ve ever written.

Mad-Man’s Nursery Rhyme

They locked him up, that man and his night gown

who used to run mad through thetown

peeping through windows, peering through locks

at small children preparing for bed. They’ve laced

him up tight in a nice linen jacket

but each night from his room, he raises a racket

screaming: “Are the kids in bed!? Are they safe in their rooms?!

Didn’t you hear it!? They blew up the moon!

And that poor jumping cow has lost its place:

still up there, somewhere, sailin’ round in space!

The twinkle star got all confused, fell down

where china and cutl’ry chase Mrs. Sprat through town!

She went on a diet, ate only eggs and tofu,

but while she got small, her little husband got huge

on Ms. Muffet’s fattening curds and luscious whey,

of which he partook twice every day!

They were seen by Mary and Little Bo Peep,

who were slaughtering lambs for their snow-white fleece,

outside of town by an old Nike shoe

where lives old Ms. Tims and her children thirty-two!

Nasty little beasts, who screamed to be fed;

Ms. Tims got so fed up- she chopped off all their heads!

Their little dog laughed to see such diddle,

and the cat played a dirge on his old, screeching fiddle.”