My head hurt, and there were pieces of me flying everywhere. I couldn’t breathe. I was underwater and the air was barely streaming into my lungs, my veins, my soul. The sky was a dull blue, and my body’s joints creaked painfully. I always sat in the back of the classroom. I did. But I was sure everyone was watching me. They were watching me, like hissing crows on a power line, their hateful thoughts were streaming through their small minds like bright ribbons that were only shades of grey and black.

Sentences poured out of my mind and out of my lips, and every time I’d mutter something, I slapped my hands over my mouth, and tried not to cry out of embarrassment. Breathe, Ophelia, breathe. I looked around the classroom, and nobody was staring at me.

Nobody… was…

A red siren exploded in the distance, and everyone got up to leave. My whole body froze. Nobody paid attention to me, and they were all laughing and talking to each other. My eyes widened, as I put my hands over my ears. I wished feverishly that I could have someone to talk to like that.

Friends?

Am I even worth it?

December 5th, 2004…

A young girl was in a small town surrounded by a forest. She looked up to the sky and saw bright blue and purple streams leading to the forest. Captivated by the colors, she walked into the path that led to the forest despite how her grandfather had just warned her not to, “it was easy to get lost” he said.

But children are stupid.

And she went in.

And she was lost.

But then she saw him.

He was a tall boy, and his skin was pale yet somehow fluorescent. He was skinny but not too skinny. His hair was a cloud white, lined by a silver silhouette. He was dressed in a plain blue men’s kimono, but the sash was loosely tied so you could see the upper part of his chest and some of his waist.

She asked him for help.

And he looked at her and he said…

“What are you doing here? You can’t belong here. You’ll be cursed forever.”

But she didn’t care.

A ray of light gently hit my vision as I exited from the main building. I found an isolated spot and sat there, buried in my own thoughts- which I could barely keep together. I wanted to cry. I wanted to feel sad. I wanted to reach for help. But I couldn’t. The few close friends that I had were friends that had been here for years…

Before I fell apart.

And they were slowly floating away from me. I could do nothing but grasp helplessly like some sort of baby. I hated myself. Why couldn’t I be more social? Why can’t my mouth open?!

“Who’s that?” I heard someone ask. It was a distant voice, and I looked up to see two girls passing me. They were whispering to each other about me, their eyes squinted and their words dripped like acid into my ears.

“I don’t know. She’s such a freak.”

“That’s mean!”

“It’s true. She never talks…”

“Oh… well…”

I hated them.

But I hated myself for not being what they wanted.

“You don’t have to be anything,” a voice whispered, and I jumped. I looked around quickly. There was no one there, and I quickly got up and left.

Was I finally going crazy?

Drip. Drip. Drip. The girl watched as water fell in sweet drops from the boy’s streams of hair. He was much older than her. She was only ten and he looked to be sixteen. But she liked him a lot. “Do you want some too?” He asked. They were by a pond. “It’s alright.” She replied, as she watched him. “I like watching you.” She said.

There was something misty in his eyes, as he turned and said “Maybe someday I’ll like watching you too.” There was silence until she stood up and reached out to hug him. He fell backwards into the pond, and she burst out laughing. “Why did you do that?!” She asked.

He stood up, and she realized that his clothes weren’t wet at all!

“Because,” he said as he walked towards her, “If you touch me, I’ll disappear into a cloud of butterflies.”

But the girl did not believe him. “That’s stupid. You’re lying!” She cried.

“Of course not!” He shouted back.

She ran after him, and the two disappeared into the distance.

After school, it was pouring rain but it appeared that most people read the forecast. Umbrellas of all shades were opened up, and if you looked at it from an upper angle, it looked really beautiful. I was on top of the school building, and my hair was already far from wet. But it was beautiful.

“Aren’t you cold?” Someone asked, and I turned to see a boy who looked very familiar. But I couldn’t really remember exactly who he was. “Do I know you?” I asked him. He smiled. He looked to be my age, sixteen, and the scariest thing was that he had white hair… but not white like an old person’s. It was a Heavenly sort of white, and his skin was beyond white. It was a ghostly complexion.

He literally glowed in the rain.

That was scary, but somehow, I felt calm around him.

Like I did know who he was.

“Well, if I’m gone from here, will I ever see you again?” The girl asked the boy. He smiled at her, and suddenly, a harsh wind hit the both of them. The girl cried and stumbled forwards, but the boy didn’t waver at all. Droplets of rain began to populate the floor.

“Why would you ever want to see me?” He asked.

“Because you’re my only friend.” She told him. He frowned, and he asked “Oh really?” She smiled and replied “Yes… thank you.” He laughed, and he told her “Then I, Hikaru, promise that whenever you need help in life, I will be there!”

“Really?!” She asked.

“Yes! Of course!” He laughed.

“But…” She said.

“But what?” He replied.

“But when I do get out of this forest, will I still remember you?” She asked. It was a strange question for a child to consider, but he shook his head.

“You won’t remember. Because you never belonged here.” He told her. “I do too! I’m human, just like you!” She shouted. “Oh, Ophelia… you’ll understand someday…” He said.

“Someday,” The girl, Ophelia, whispered as she looked at the outside world from the gate of the forest, “Someday, I’ll be Hikaru’s bride and he’ll be my groom.”

“No. You don’t.” He said. “Well, alright…” I replied. I did want to talk to him. The first thing I needed right now was a friend. Someone to talk to. Someone to share ice cream with and smile with. Even if it was a boy.

“Ermm….” I said “Well, what’s your name?!”

Crap. That sounded more rude than I wanted it to.

He looked at me, and there was something so familiar in his eyes as he replied “Hikaru.”

“Oh, so you’re Japanese then?”

“I suppose you could say that.”

“I’m Ophelia Pan.”

“I know.”

My eyes widened in surprise. “You know?” I asked. Was he a stalker?!

He smiled, and he said “I know.” We left that alone for awhile. The two of us became good friends and we never talked about how he ‘knew’ my name. He never dressed in the school’s uniform but the teachers never seemed to notice.

Then one day, I was sitting at lunch with him, eating. Or well, I was. He just sat there, staring out to space. “Where do you live?” I asked him. “Far away.” He said quietly. “Oh. Cool. House, apartment or condo?” I said. “Neither.” He said. Then someone approached us. It was a girl who I could tell was new to the school.

She had round glasses and black hair that was tied into braids.

“Hi…” She said shyly, “My name is Mindy, can I sit and eat with you?”

I nodded eagerly. “Y-yeah!” I said. She sat down next to me, and we talked for so long. It was as if we were destined to be friends, you know? And then I turned to say something to Hikaru.

But he was gone.

I stood up and shouted his name. “Hikaru?!” I shouted. “What’s wrong, Ophelia?” Mindy asked concernedly. “Hikaru’s gone.” I said to her. “Who is Hikaru?” She asked me, as she frowned behind her glasses. “That boy who was sitting next to me… he’s gone.” I told her.

And suddenly, something swelled up in my throat and I started crying. Mindy comforted me. To my surprise, she wasn’t scared at all. She told me that when she saw me, there was no one next to me.

But how could that be?

The tears fell like a monsoon, and for the rest of lunch, I walked around asking my teachers if they remembered him. They said that there was no Hikaru on the role sheet, and that the seat that he sat in was always empty.

One teacher even decided to recommend me to some therapy. I politely refused.

“It’s alright. You’re not crazy.” Mindy said to me. “Are you sure?” I asked. “Yes, because my mom told me that there are many times when spirits try to help people who are in danger.” She told me. “Really?” I told her. Hikaru was fading fast from my memory. I could only barely remember his face.

The darkness in my mind was blinded by light, and he disappeared into it.

For many years to pass, Mindy was not my only friend. I had more and more friends that streamed into my life, and we grew very close. It was a happy ending, and in my last year of high school, mixed up in drama and problems, I forgot about Hikaru.

At graduation, blue balloons were strung up into the sky, and the principal was on the stage, talking about the new and exciting entrance into the world for these “prominent students.” I sighed and looked at Mindy, who was actually listening. I laughed when I saw tears swell in her eyes. She glared at me and punched me playfully.

The two of us poked each other until a teacher hushed for us to stop.

“So, I present to you all, the Class of 2011!” He shouted.

When it was my turn to walk on the stage, I suddenly tripped off the stage. But I hit something soft, and suddenly, I was in the middle of a haze of butterflies. They were butterflies of all color, their wings reflected beautifully and clearly in the sun.

My eyes widened, and suddenly…

Tears fell from my eyes.

“Because if you touch me, I’ll disappear into a cloud of butterflies.”

I hit the floor, and it was all dark. I heard people shout my name. But it was all so blurry.

“Goodbye, Ophelia.” He said as he watched the small girl walk away from the forest. He smiled, and disappeared into the distance.

I woke up in a green hospital room. There was a siren outside, but there was a wide and open window in front of me, showing me a great view of the city. The white windows of the buildings glittered in the night like a rainbow of jewels. “Are you alright??” Mindy asked. I could tell she had been crying. My other friends, Benny, Mindy, Victoria and Kurt also looked concerned. “You’re such an idiot,” Kurt sighed. I glared at him. “Come here so I can kill you!” I tried to shout, but it came out as a groan.

Blagh.

“The doctor says that you’re lucky, because you could’ve broke your skull in the fall and suffered extreme brain damage, but somehow, you’re okay.” My mother told me. “It’s a miracle!” Mindy said. “I’m just glad you’re alright.” Victoria said. “Of course she’s alright,” Benny nodded.

“Yeah. I’m alright.” I said, but I squinted. What happened before the fall?

“What happened before the fall?” I asked.

“Something amazing! You, being a clumsy idiot, tripped and fell, but then, when you were falling, there were freaking butterflies all around you. It was so pretty that everyone almost forgot to take you to the hospital.” Kurt chuckled. I threw my cup of pudding at him. “Hey! Ow!” He said.

For the rest of the time we waited to see the doctor, I was laughing and chatting with my friends. But I really couldn’t remember…