I’m terribly jealous of my best friend, but I can’t tell her how I feel. She constantly tells me how beautiful and funny I am, but she has no idea how inept I am beside her.

She isn’t a classic beauty, or a trendy beauty, she is an eternal beauty. No one can deny how lovely and angelic her face is. But, besides that, she has always been thin yet curvaceous, a body that you only see after airbrushing in magazines. Smooth and flawless skin. Long soft hair. She is everything I want to be. The one ever girl envies and every boy covets.

I’ve never been thin, or even proportionate. I have never known a day when I could admire myself. Never even just my skin, my hair, my nails, or anything at all. I am the girl that disappears behind the others and struggles to find acceptance.

And even given all this, I feel for my best friend.

Perhaps because of her angelic beauty, or just because that’s the way life is, her step father molests her. And because of that she doesn’t comprehend boundaries. She devalues her body while at the same time concentrating all her energy into refining it, because it’s the only thing she finds self worth in.

Still, I’m jealous. I would give anything to be her, to be molested. To be worth molesting.