A picnic. Yes, we were on a picnic. Me and catboy here loaded up on the tradional sammiches, grapes, chips, sodas, potato salad, and all the other picnic crap. We rolled over to Mistletoe Lane and picked up Batt and Lucietta.

They were currently sprawled on their backs on the opposite side of the blanket from me and Leonidas. Batt was frantically hitting the buttons on her GameBoy Advance while Lucietta munched on the grapes.

Leo was sitting next to me, slowly eating a ham sandwich. I studied him, trying to come up with some mischief to enact on him. His eyes were closed, hiding their usual smoky green color. I decided to forgo subtlety and take advantage of this rare lapse in awareness.

I slowly, quietly slid the top of the picnic basket open, and wrapped my hand around the plastic container of potato salad. Keeping one eye on the girls to make sure they wouldn't notice and cry foul, I removed the lid from the potato salad. Then I leaned over to Leo, and grabbed his collar faster than lickety-split. His eyes shot open, and I poured potato salad down his nice blue button up shirt.

"FOUNTAIN!" he cried.

Yes, my name is Fountain. A merciful god would strike down my parents, but unfortunately, they are alive and well and in Arkansas. Though I suppose living there is punishment enough. I will be called Founie...or else. See the punishment I shall eke out on this foolish boy.

It was hilarious, Leo hastily unbuttoned his shirt, struggling to get the potato salad off his chest. Batt was laughing her ass off. Lucietta looked on with her usual blank serenity. I slapped Leo hard, but not to hard. Just enough to remind him of his place.

Well, maybe a little too hard, either way. Blood was pouring from his nose as he stood up, and staggered off down the hill.

"Hey! Where are you going?!" I called out.

He turned around. He looked furious.

"I should have known better! You're totally crazy! You can't get along with anyone...or behave decently!" he yelled, charging down the hill towards the truck.

Hey, my friends have to accept me for who I am.