Author’s Note: This is part 1 of a continuing story. I apologize if it doesn’t make sense, it will by the end.

The Heart
By Thoth

Why did I do it? Why was I so stupid? ...This room is so small: only the chair and bed fit in here. The only safe place I have left is my mind, and even that is being broken into. They keep walking by, those pitiful insects, looking at me with pity. They used to be my friends, and they think I’m the crumpled mass. I used to be so powerful and confident, with friends, a life, even a love. But all that, everything that I worked so hard to build, came crashing down with a kiss. It seemed so small then, but you can see what it has become. Marlow…

Was the girl of my dreams. She was intellectual, an actress, a pianist, and my best friend. She knew me better than anyone else, but she did not know one thing: I was in love with her. Even though she was not extremely attractive, my heart raced every time I saw her. I’d been in love with her ever since we became friends, but that is just what she wanted to be: a friend. Nothing I did seemed to sway her otherwise.

We sat together on the bus, listening to her Ipod. “Wow. This is really good. Who is it?

“Me. You really think it’s good?”

“Oh yea. Best composition you’ve written in a while.” I wasn’t just saying that because I was attracted to her. It really was a good composition. “So, you ready for 10 days at the retreat center?” The center, about 50 square acres, was filled with industrial buildings, a park, even a scenic trail called Sunset Point. Our entire religious studies class was going to the retreat, with a melancholy of cliques coming together to this one confined space. Although we were expected to “resolve our differences,” we all knew that the chaperones didn’t really give a shit. As long as nobody died, they wouldn’t intervene.

As the bus slowed to a stop, we got up and walked out the door. We followed the crowd until the chaperones yelled, “Hey Kids! We don’t care where you go, but be back by supper!”

“Hmm. How about that?”

“It’s actually kinda nice. I’m heading up to Sunset Point. See ya later Marlow.”

“Alright. See ya Kurtz.”

I walked along the gravel path, thinking about Marlow and how I would probably never get her to see how much I really care about her. She was my best friends, but she was so blind to the truth.

The gravel trail ended, so I sat down on the cool, metal bench. The light glistened on the rippling water. Wow, this is really nice. Ah, a nice break from a long walk. Hey, is it really bright, or is it just me? It’s as bright as it is at noon, but it’s 4 o’ clock. In fact, it seemed really bright as I looked up…

“Kfanv. Kjlsz. Kurtz! Are you alright?”

“Hmm. Huh? …Marlow?”

“Thank God you’re alright. Everyone’s freaking out.”

“Why?”

“There was a Solar Flare. The chaperones don’t know what to do. No one was expecting this.”

“A solar wha?”

“Flare. Basically, an explosion on the Sun’s surface caused every type of radiation imaginable to be produced. And you've been exposed to all of them.”

“Great. That explains why I lost consciousness.”

“I’m just glad to see that you’re all right.” She stood me up and we started walking along the path. “You up for a race?”

“Are you serious, Marlow?” I just got up, and you want me to race you. Let’s just walk."

We got back to the center, but no one was concerned. The chaperones were mingling in a conference room, and the kids were huddled up into their respective cliques. Start paying attention to me. Then, for no reason, people started walking towards me, asking “Are you alright?”

“Um…yea…”

“Cool. Let me know if anything’s up.” This continued for 10 minutes or so, with each person asking if I was alright. As the last person walked away, I said, “Whoa. That was really weird.

“I’ll say. What the hell happened?”

“Why do you think I know!”

“Sorry. Don’t get so uppity.”

“Look. I’m just gonna go back to my room.” Please follow me.

“Hey, do you want me to go with you?”

“Um…Yea…Sure.” What the hell is going on?

Once I got back to my room, I sat on my bed. My hands clasped my face, in a feeble attempt to remove all of the outside disturbances out. Just leave me alone.

“Fine. You don’t have to be so moody.”

“What?”

“You just told me to leave you alone. So I’m leaving you alone.”

I didn’t really know what was happening, but I was about to have fun…