alienation sticking grimy to my hair, my mouth
tasting like shattered silence and how badly
i've disappointed you, disillusioned you, shell-shocked you.
your face across the table looks like heartbreak seasoned
with pretending, (pretending) it's not as bad as it is (pretending)
you can still love me like you did.

you hold me like you'll never let go, like
you're still holding on to who you thought i was
when all i am is all i can be, born a freak live a freak
and die, die, die unloved.

and (please) take my hand in yours again
like you did when i was young before i lost
my innocence, 'cause all i need from you is all
i cannot bring myself to ask. mother will you
give me back my childhood; you wanted
to protect me and didn't protect me (could you)
give me back my hope, give me back
my sugared illusions.

twirl, jump, spin across the room, headphones
on my ears & bracelets of scars around my wrists oh anything
to try to forget when i know i can't
anything to drown the thought that i
will never be like i should be
will never laugh the way they can

and you say, i can never fake a smile
not for you you'll always see through to just how
poorly i feign at the concept of i'm okay;
this tear-stained little make-believe girl is fooling
no one, head lodged in the clouds but these ones are
a storm front (lighting thunder & golf-ball sized hail) and
there's no way out but down, down, down.

a/n: you'd catch me as i fall, if only you knew how.