Tsukiyo no Monogatari

..--..

If there was one thing I remembered about her, it was the bright red ribbon she wound over her bun. Her dark hair was a haphazard mess, as if it hadn’t met a comb in years. She was sitting on her rolled up futon, clad in a lacy nightgown and smoking from a half-burnt cigarette. Her lips quivered under the weight of the stick and her eyes were dreary and rimmed by dark circles. She hadn’t slept for weeks ever since he came back.

“Nao...” she drawled in a low voice, so uncanny of the high-pitched screams I used to hear every night. She sounded tired and old. She might have been just thirty, twenty-five, maybe even younger. I never really knew.

“Yes, mama,” I answered her then, settling down next to her and wishing there was more I could do than just lighting up her cigarettes. To a nine year old, the flick of a lighter was one of the most extraordinary things in life... almost as interesting as the scars on a mother’s back. Before I could return the metallic object back to her, she drew me into her lap suddenly and held me close, burying her head into the crook of my shoulder. Her hand was shaking as she patted my small head in a pattern forever engraved in my memory.

“Run away. Go somewhere far. Never look back... “

I didn’t say anything. It wasn’t the first time she had asked me to leave.

“This place is not for you, Nao.”

“... Where will I go?” I asked her after a long pause.

“It doesn’t matter. Just board the 4:15. It will take you to Tokyo,” she murmured gently and I felt an odd sort of wetness on my shoulder.

She was crying. Her body shook silently, vulnerable to breaking down at any given moment. Under the dim light of the room, she looked indistinguishable from the shadows that lined the walls. I drew apart from her embrace and stared at her.

“No,” I stood my ground adamantly. “I can’t leave mama behind.”

“Nao, please... I have some money that I have been saving up for the past few weeks. It’s under your mattress. Take it and go!“

“But what about him?”

She didn’t reply. Her sober eyes wanted to leave the question unanswered.

She pushed me out of the tiny, cramped apartment that I once called home and shut the door. The sound of the latch closing felt like the last nail to a coffin. I stood staring at the tattered wooden door in a daze; unshed tears threatening to fall.

With the lighter still clutched tightly in my hand, I turned to the open street.

Run away.

Go somewhere far.

Never look back.

..--..

The lanes were narrow and the city towered so high that I felt like a small, insignificant dust particle in this abysmal world of chaos. Every once in a while, a plane would cross the sky, its red and yellow lights blinking in the darkness. I’d wonder how it flew, curious whether it was the God of Wind that carried it on his shoulders. The rain didn’t make me feel any better.

I stood outside his door, drenched from the torrential showers, my shoes becoming even more ugly than before. Some boy on the bus had made fun of them until I kicked him in the shin to shut him up. Somewhere along the journey, I had learnt that a fist was a better way of letting out pent-up emotions than tears. Even when I got down at Shinjuku, the boy was the one still crying.

It was a house much larger than the one I knew. Water poured in the form of rivulets, falling from the red tiled roof in a thin pearl-like stream. Freezing, I held on to my worn jacket and stood on my tiptoes to ring the doorbell. The sound of the bell echoed through the hollow emptiness of the house. I heard a rustle of footsteps on the other side and a head peeked through the dirty-brown curtains.

A grunt of annoyance.

“Why did that harlot have to send you here of all places...” came the gruff voice.

“Pfft! What’s your name?” the old man asked me, sliding the front door partly open.

“Nao...” I replied, bending low in respect.

“How old are you?” he spat out quickly.

“Nine.”

“What do you want? Why did she send you here?”

“Takeshi san, please take me in. I have nowhere else to go. I am ready to work to pay for my living.”

My uncle gave me a long look. He seemed surprised at the humble request and yet, frowned when he noticed how small I was. He sighed, crossing his arms over his chest and looked at the leaking heavens in thought.

“What a ruddy weather. Increases the humidity and spoils my warehouse. Not good, not good at all. I am going to lose business if this goes on... Anyway, you go back to where you came from, kid. Go back to that skank. I can’t employ you. You won’t last.”

“Please,” I murmured and bent low again. “Give me any work. I’ll do it without complaining.”

“You’re being naive. You won’t last, girl-“

“Onegaishimasu, Takeshi-san. Just give me a chance.”

He was silent for a long moment, staring at me with his old, thoughtful eyes before he sighed again.

“You will have to carry ten kilo cement bags everyday and we don’t need slackers. I can’t pay you wages but you will be fed twice a day. That’d be more than enough for a skank’s child.”

He stopped tapping his feet and waited for an answer.

I lifted my head and gave him a grim smile. “Arigato Gozaimasu, Takeshi-san. That would be enough.”

He shook his head, looking at the dark skies solemnly. “Never mind you. Get in quickly. You’re making the mat dirty.”

..--..

There is an old fable about a duckling that lost its identity. Abandoned by her kin, she was taken in by the hens and taught to be one among them. One day, the duck came across a flock of wandering ducks. She looked at their little webbed feet, their beaks and their feathers. They told her that she was a duck. But she insisted on being a chicken.

I was that duck. The girl Nao Yokoyama died the day I started working in my uncle’s cement factory. From an estranged niece I became the estranged nephew. No one remembered the drenched girl who had come to work there. All everyone knew was this friendly, free-spirited effeminate boy who couldn’t help smile even during the bleakest of times. He never talked much to anyone and rather enjoyed the solitude. But Nao had this terrible habit of getting into fights with the kids in the neighborhood.

The Fist of Buddha. That’s what they called him.

Months churned into six years, the only proof of it being the wrinkled hands of mine that had hardened with time.

I lived under my uncle’s roof for more than five years. And every time I returned home from work, exhausted and spent of all energy after hours of carrying cement in his construction plant, he’d always scold me for spoiling his front mat. I didn’t hate him and neither did he. I kept my word and so did he... Like he once said, two meals a day was more than enough for a skank’s child.

One day, the old man died of a heart attack.

Apparently, he didn’t have any children and left me his inheritance. After half a decade’s worth of hard labor, the overcast sky cleared and I could finally see the sun sparkling through in colors of red and gold.

Was I really free?

..--..

I had promised her that I would never look back.

But promises were meant to be broken, weren’t they?

I visited the old apartment only to find it in crumbling ruins. It was deserted, the paint running thin. Every crack in the wall felt like a scar waiting to tell its story. The old lady next door didn’t know much about the couple who had lived there... except that the woman committed suicide a few years ago. Her daughter had gone missing not long before she died. Maybe she couldn’t bear the loss. Maybe... The man hurried on to marry another woman and they moved to Hokkaido, it seemed.

The old woman looked at me searchingly. “Were you a relative of theirs, son?” she asked me in a thoughtful tone.

Tipping my beret over my head, I gave one last look to the house that I had once called home. I turned to her and gave a bleak smile.

In the end, it didn’t matter.

I left the place to catch the next Shinkansen to Tokyo. The train was half-empty on that chilly winter night. Even with an overcoat wrapped around me, I felt cold and lonesome. The passing cities felt like early christmas lights. Amidst the noise, there was a family in the far distance. A mother and a father covering their two children with blankets protectively. The example of a perfect family flaunted right in my face.

No tears shed.

I’d long lost the ability to feel remorse.

Maybe she was right.

I should have never looked back.

..--..

It was closeted on the outskirts of Tokyo, an elegant okiya spread over a large estate and cocooned amidst a thick green cover. Shrouded from the outside world by tall, grill gates that kept away prying eyes, it opened to only those who could afford to come. The home of the geisha. Mysterious, seductive, entrancing and a multitude of flamboyant colors of spring. No intruder had ever gotten past the front lawn. It is said that a drunkard had tried to cross those gates once upon a long time. A fool, that's what people later said. But no one knew what really became of him. No one knew whom he had tried to meet. One of the women perhaps.

It wasn't really surprising. The geisha met numerous men every day and each one of them fell in love with their deadly beauty. They were the illustration of a flower that could only be smelled but not touched. They were the solitary residents of the Karyokai, the flower and willow world where no one else could enter. But even then, many men sought their company in teahouses, parties and other festive occasions. The geisha in return never fell in love with any of their benefactors. They weren't allowed to and nobody dared to cross that line either.

Except for her. She broke that rule but it was nothing compared to the thousand social taboos that she'd broken at the same time. Hikari belonged to this prosperous okiya. A maiko, she was an apprentice in training.

I remember the first time I met her. We were invited as the guests of the 'Mother', the head mistress of the okiya. I wasn't that fond of socializing and my colleagues seemed to have noticed it. When whispers started behind my back, it became apparent that accepting this invitation would be necessary to protect my secret.

Dressed in a suit and accompanying a group of men, we arrived at the grandeur house that it was. It was an eventful night as the geisha entertained us with tea, shamisen and even dancing. But as the hours progressed and as the green tea began to churn in my stomach, I felt an odd sort of dizziness. The colors of their kimonos swiveled in my mind, their uchiwa throwing me into an exotic whirlpool of no return.

I found myself seeking the outside air, groveling for a chance to clear my mind of the mess it had become. I loosened my tie and staggered out of the wooden doors, unnoticed by others. I walked to the end of the corridor and lurched over the wooden railing, my stomach threatening to spill. But I found my breath taken away when I saw the view ahead. I had somehow managed to stumble into the scenic landscape of the hanamachi. It was a beauty beyond comparison. The waters of the lake glimmered against the moon that hung in the sky like an ornament of a pastel painting. The sakura trees were in full blossom and the pink flowers were reflected against the waters under a white bridge running across the narrow lake.

There were stairs leading to the beautiful scenery and I descended them step by step. The wooden stairs creaked and moaned in protest, almost waking me from the daze that I was in. I trailed a slow path on the garden, my feet flattening the grass on its way. I finally arrived at the edge of the glistening lake. I was breathless... not from the journey I had made but from the view.

My knees gave away and I found myself sprawled on the grass that was still wet with dew. I had come to realize that it wasn't just green tea that I had drunk. Perhaps they had mixed sakè with the refreshments. Whatever the case be, the alcohol had heightened my senses and left me in an inebriated state.

I didn't know how much time passed as I just lay there, staring at the sky and silently communicating with the stars embedded in it. I should have been worried whether everybody else had left. But I wasn't. Moments of nothingness were hard to come by and I reveled in it now that I had got the chance. It was so peaceful that I wouldn't have minded living there forever.

That was before my stomach felt queasy. That was before I could taste the bile in my throat. Before I hunched over and started vomiting, staining the paradise I had stumbled into.

A gentle breeze billowed and for some strange reason, it made me feel small, insignificant and a stray that all gods had forsaken.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps out of the blue and someone knelt beside me. A hand clasped my head and pulled my hair away from my eyes. I turned sideways to glance at the stranger and found myself staring into the amber eyes of a maiko.

“Are you feeling better now?" she asked, her voice a careless whisper in the shifting shadows of the clouds.

I nodded, backing away to take a better look at my helper.

“I am sorry. Did I surprise you?” she enquired politely.

"No...” I said, rubbing my mouth with the back of my hand. “I am the one who should be sorry. It wasn't my right to venture out here.”

"Are you one of the visitors, sir?" she asked in a demure voice.

"Yes and don't call me 'sir'... please," I said, feeling wretched all of a sudden.

"Oh,” was her single worded reply.

Dressed in a simple white yukata with a floral print, she was crouched on the grass, looking at me with an expression that even my own mother had never blessed me with. She was young, perhaps a few years younger than me but that's where the similarities ended. There lay a vast difference in the worlds that the two of us had seen. I wore a mask of scars while she was as lively and innocent as a sakura in spring.

The beauty of the landscape had indeed found itself a worthy competitor.

..--..

A week went by, unasked, unintervened and in restlessness. I hadn’t been to work since then, dwelling in my own lethargy and dreams. I lay in bed, thinking about that maiko. She had a beautiful name, Hikari, meaning Light. Even though I knew it was utterly impossible, I wanted to meet her again and thank her for helping me that night.

Outside of the Karyokai, a dull life existed among the towers that hovered over Tokyo’s skyline. The city’s artificiality was so suffocating that I’d seek refuge by taking a simple walk in the merchant markets. They were close to my empty one bedroom apartment and the hustle-bustle of local life strangely felt just like the place I had once belonged to.

But I never stopped to reminisce. I never looked back.

Mama would have been proud, wouldn’t she?

It was on a dull moonless night that I found a familiar face among the tide of people present... one, which I would have least expected to find in a place like this. Amidst the ossans and obaasans who were bargaining for the catfish on special discount, she stood silently, gazing at the sky with the most serene expression I’d seen on any human’s face.

She was dressed in an extravagant purple kimono and a colorful obi. Standing in the middle of a busy market, she caught a lot of attention, needless to say. And a few wolf-whistles from the local hoodlums too.

I brushed past the people in my way and even when I got to her, she still hadn’t noticed me.

“You... “ I panted. “What’re you doing here?” I asked her.

Her eyes drifted down to meet mine. A faint flicker and a sign of recognition.

“It’s Nao-san,” was all she said and she broke out into a bright smile. Just like a child.

“What’re you doing here?” I asked again, my eyes shifting sideways wondering whether she was with someone.

She didn’t answer me. “Can you help me?” she asked in a troubled, low voice. “I think I am lost. I was with Naomi onee san but I lost her in the crowd...”

“Oh?”

She nodded enthusiastically.

“Well...” I trailed, scratching my head in deep thought. “My home is not that far away. You’re welcome to stay until someone comes to pick you up.”

“Nao san’s h-home?”

“Yeah.”

Her eyes widened and I suspected she didn’t trust me.

“Don’t worry. You’ll be safe there. I will be the perfect err-gentleman,” I assured her.

Her amber eyes lit up. “Nao san,” she said bowing her head a little. “You’re too kind. Arigatou Gozaimasu.”

I shrunk back and nodded in embarrassment. “No need to thank me. It’s nothing.“

She smiled. Just like a child again.

..--..

It was an empty one-bedroom apartment. Atleast that’s the way it used to be. Now it wasn’t so empty, sheltering two people from two different kinds of worlds, consumed by silence and unable to break its spell.

She sat quietly by the fireplace, staring into the deep red embers of burning wood, which reflected in her soft eyes. What was she thinking; I’d like to have known. The girl fascinated me ever since the first time I had met her. Even after I had left the okiya weeks ago, memories of that night under the moonlit sky stayed with me, nibbling away at my conscience.

It was like staring at my mirror image. She was everything I wasn’t. Pure and gentle, trusting and carefree. While she had the geisha as her family, I had none.

I envied her.

And I hated myself for it.

“Why do you live alone?” she asked after the long silence.

“I like being alone,” came the swift answer. A blatant lie.

She smiled ruefully, looking at me like a see-through glass.

“Nao san...” she dawdled after a long moment.

“Yes?”

“Please smile more often.”

My heart skipped a beat and I nodded awkwardly.

She spent the night next to the fire place. Sleeping against the red embers, she looked so peaceful that I spent the whole night watching her. I was curious like a kid who had just found a puppy on the road and taken it home. And just like that child, I was afraid to return it to its rightful owner... no matter what the tag said. The puppy was, after all, his only friend.

The next morning, they came to take her away. Naomi onee san was a tough woman with an ice-cold expression lined beneath her wrinkled eyebrows. Somewhere in her mid thirties, it quickly became apparent that she didn’t approve of me. Giving me the stiff upper lip, the geisha whisked Hikari away, without letting me bid even goodbye to her.

..--..

What started out as an accidental meeting turned into a series of coincidences, atleast that’s what she made me believe. Hikari might have been a lot of things. But naivety wasn’t one of them. She always knew how to bend circumstances to her wish and made it seem all so effortless as if the whole universe conspired with her. Like the time I met her again in the market or when I met her in a tea party or when she just happened to be in the neighborhood or when she dropped in my office with onigiri as a thank you gift. From mere acquaintances, we’d become confidantes of each other. She told me all about her secluded life and I told her about my non-existent one.

It was during one of those coincidental meetings, when she dropped by my apartment. We stood under the balcony, lit only by the half-moon. She was talking about something. I wasn’t paying attention to her words but to the way her lips moved in forming those words. Hikari was not just pretty. She was beautiful because she was elegant in all the things she did. Even if she’d just woken up from sleep, eyes puffy and hair dissheveled, she’d still be enchanting.

Half-way through my observations, I realized that she’d stopped talking.

“Nao? Are you listening to me?” she asked, waving one hand in front of my eyes. Strange enough, she stopped calling me Nao san some time ago.

I blinked, clearing my throat loudly. “Oh, sorry. I was just distracted by, um, something.”

“You seem a lot distracted these days, Nao kun.”

She leaned across to straighten my collar. Surprised by her sudden movement, I shrunk back.

“I-I am sorry,” she apologized, hurt showing through her eyes.

“It’s alright. Just don’t do something abrupt like that again.”

“But why?”

“Its-Its...”

She broke into a playful smile.

“If you’re afraid that your secret will be found, it doesn’t matter,” she confided. Leaning across forcefully, she snaked her arms around my neck and drew me into a long winded kiss. She stood on the tip of her toes, her colorful kimono fluttering a little with the breeze. It took my a long while to gather my courage. It took me a long while to actually enjoy what she was doing to me. She laughed into the kiss when I finally winded my arms around her waist and lifted her a little off the ground.

She was amused. “About time...” was all she said with a big grin.

..--..

“What’s your favorite fairytale, Nao?” she asked me one day, while trying to feed me onigiri.

I sighed. “I don’t believe in fairytales.”

Hikari frowned at me. “Well, one of our patrons gave me a children’s book from the west.”

“Was it good?” I asked absent-mindedly.

“Yes. I loved that story Sleeping Beauty. There’s a princess who was cursed by a witch to remain asleep for centuries. The only way to lift the curse was if her prince charming came to wake her up.”

“Oh,” I mumbled, disinterested.

“I feel like her sometimes,” Hikari confided. I couldn’t read the look in her eyes. The melancholy of solitude, perhaps.

“You do?” I asked.

“Yes and you know who my Prince Charming is?”

“I’d rather not ask.”

“It’s Nao kun!” she announced with a childlike relish, throwing her arms around my neck.

..--..

“A present?” she mumbled out, looking at the little box in her hand.

“Yes. Nothing spectacular,” I confided in embarrasment. “It belonged to my mother and I want you to have it.”

She tipped the box open delicately and pulled out the faded red ribbon from inside. Rolling it open, she gazed at it in wonder.

“But Nao... why are you giving your mom’s only memento to me?”

“Well, uh, I can’t wear it so I thought it’d suit you... “ I trailed, threading my fingers through my short hair awkwardly. “I know it’s nothing special compared to the accessories the okiya gives you but-“

She silenced me by placing a finger against my lips.

“It’s the most beautiful gift anyone has ever given me. Arigatou.”

..--..

One night, I was rudely awoken by the buzz of the doorbell. A quick glance at the alarm clock told me it was a little after one. A traumatic childhood always makes a person wary of midnight visitors. Grabbing a baseball bat, I walked to the front door gingerly and opened it.

Much to my surprise, I found Hikari standing there. She was dressed in the whole attire of a maiko, covered in depths of vibrant fabrics and powdered make up and mascara. Perhaps, she had been invited to a late party. I didn’t want to ask.

“Wah! Why are you holding that?” she said, jumping backwards and pointing frantically to the bat I held.

“This?” I mumbled out, lowering my weapon of choice. “Uh, I don’t know. But what’re you doing here?”

“Well, no one was at the okiya so I decided to sneak out.”

“What?”

“Mother was invited by a dignitary. Naomi onee san is in Kyoto for the weekend. So, I came to visit you.”

“But...”

“But!” she emphasized childishly. “Didn’t you hear me, Nao! I thought you’d be happy to see me,” she pouted.

I gaped at her, wide-eyed. “What if someone finds out?”

In a way that was so entirely un-maiko like, she glared at me and stormed past me into my apartment. It didn’t strike me until then that Hikari knew my home well... too much for my liking. It was as if she lived there and considering the amount of time, we spent together, she almost did.

“Hey... Don’t barge in like that. Now, go back home. What if someone-“ I grumbled, letting the words bellow like a tantrum.

But she gave me the cold shoulder and settled unasked into my futon.

“Hikari!” I growled, grabbing hold of her arm.

Turning her head sideways, she squinted at me through droopy eyelids. “I am tired. Switch off the lights, Nao. I am staying for the night. Hope you don’t mind.”

This was asking too much. “You can’t just barge in and steal a man’s bed.”

“A man? But Nao isn’t one,” she corrected me with a wry smile.

“That wasn’t the point. The point is it’s my bed.”

“And you’re welcome to claim it,” she said with a wink.

“Hikari!” I reproached her.

“What!” she pouted again.

And I knew the battle was lost then.

..--..

Morning drew close, neither of us wanted to wake up or even make an attempt at it. It was like an eternity could have passed us by and I wouldn’t have minded staying that way. The way she slept with her nose just inches from mine. The way her one hand clutched tightly into my shirt, afraid I’d leave her. Little did she know that she didn’t have anything to be afraid about. I was the one who feared losing her.

The light of dawn had starting creeping through the glazed windows. Hikari drew in closer, breathing next to my ear. “Is it morning already?” she asked me in a sleepy voice.

“Yeah,” I replied, my eyes glued to the ceiling. “You should start for home.”

“Or I could stay a bit longer and fix you breakfast,” she whispered gently into my ear and added with a smile,” since you’re such a poor cook.”

“Shut up,” I said, trying my best to frown.

“You’re so cute, Yoko chan.”

“I’m not cute... and don’t give me stupid nicknames.”

She wrapped her arms over my shoulder and kissed me soundly. I was a little surprised and pleased at the same time. Even when her lips left mine, I could feel her sweet taste lingering in my mouth.

“What was that for?” I asked her.

“For being Nao Yokoyama, the person I love so dearly.”

I blushed, unable to look her in the eye. It was at that moment when I realized it. While society was caught in the deceit of appearances, she was the only one who saw right through me. She was the only one who looked through my cheat and dared to love me as Nao. Even if this love was taboo and forbidden, given the choice, I wouldn’t mind doing it all over again... as long as it was Hikari.

..--..

Another tea party. Another meeting. But this time, she was with a man from the government. The secretary to the minister for foreign affairs, I believed. She had given me the invitation saying she wanted me to come and if I didn’t, she’d camp out at my home for another night. She enjoyed blackmailing me and the funny thing was... I let her. I spoiled her and in a way, she made me break out of the cocoon I was so enwrapped in.

She was dressed in an expensive kimono with silk threading the borders and held a rose bouquet in her hand. She was sitting quietly in a corner, answering in soft tones to the questions the man asked. Their shoulders almost touched and he said something to amuse her. She smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes. Her amber eyes shifted across the room restlessly and finally found mine. And she seemed comforted at my presence.

I nodded painfully like I always did.

It was funny how two glasses of wine could bring out the beast in a man. He lingered around her like a parasite and his touches became increasingly frivolous. He even cupped her cheeks and tried to kiss her forcefully. Tried to, being the key phrase there.

But the Fist of Buddha made a guest appearance. I hadn’t seen it ever since the time, I worked as a labourer in my uncle’s factory.

I rushed forward, pushing his men out of my way. My right fist connected with his jaw and left a line of blood trickling down his neck. I was left standing, fuming and my eyes flashing dangerously to the people surrounding us. My burst of anger hadn’t gone unnoticed.

Everyone was shocked. Hikari looked at me, awe-struck. Her eyes silently communicated to me that I ought to leave before security arrived. I took the cue.

..--..

I realized that the best way to spend more time with her was to make her spend more time with me. I began to visit the okiya more often. Walking in to the garden of the Karyokai world, I’d find her sitting on a swing pensively. When she saw me, a soft, knowing smile would break out on her lips. Something that the other maiko of the okiya never really understood. They never doubted our courtship. To them, I was just another man. Another benefactor. Little did they know of our taboo love.

I’d take a seat on the grass and watch the sky. Just being with her, sharing a moment of tranquility seemed like a treasure.

“Do you want to remain here?” I asked her when we were out of earshot.

“No... But they’re my family.”

“A family that sells you out to entertain men?”

“Please don’t say that,” she replied.

I looked away disconcerted at the way she was blinded by tradition and belief. She placed her warm hand on mine, trying to placate me.

“Hikari... I don’t want you to get hurt,” was all I said.

She smiled. That soft, rueful smile. “Let’s run away then. Go somewhere far. Never look back.”

Those words again.

..--..

I waited for her that night near the lake. Hidden in the shadows of an oak tree, I watched as the lights of the Hanamachi went out one by one and the guard with the lantern stopped making rounds. The moon rose high in the sky until I heard footsteps. I turned around in anticipation. Hikari was dressed in a familiar looking yukata, the one I’d seen her wearing on the first night we met.

“You came,” she observed with a relieved smile.

“And so did you,“ I assured her.

Holding her hand, I started leading her out of the maze of thick shrubbery. Our footsteps rustled the dry leaves on the ground, twigs snapping under the soles of our feet. The okiya’s estate was large and couldn’t be crossed on a whim. It needed deliberate planning. We had put some distance between the house and ourselves, when Hikari insisted that we stop. She was panting, the walking turning out to be strenuous for the noble blood bred in her. She sat down next to me and let her head rest on the crook of my shoulder.

“How long will it take?” she asked, breathless.

“Another twenty minutes and we’d be long gone without a trace.”

She smiled upon hearing that and let out a long sigh. “I wonder what kind of a life it’d be. You and me living together under the same roof. You’d go out to work and I’ll be home cooking. When you return in the evening, I’d be ready with a proper home cooked meal just for you. We could go watch the fireworks during the festival. It would be nice-“ she stopped, her body falling limp against mine.

“Hikari?”

She didn’t respond. I caught hold of her arm in shock. Her skin was sickeningly cold and clammy.

“Hikari! What’s wrong? Are you tired? Please say something...”

She didn’t answer. The only sound I heard was a gasp from her quivering lips.

A figure emerged out of the shadows. I couldn’t recognize her until the clouds hovering in the sky passed and moonlight streamed on her face. It was the geisha Naomi. She remained half-hidden in the darkness with a pensive expression. From the pale look on her face, I knew it had all gone terribly wrong.

She came closer and threw something at my feet. My head lowered and I picked it up. The faded red ribbon rolled out to the grass and fluttered with the night’s breeze as I held it out in my hand.

“You two were so foolish. Did you think we wouldn’t find out?” she trailed, her eyes downcast and her tone painful. She looked at the girl that lay in my arms and let out a sigh of pity.

“The geisha are proud of their name... and anything that tarnishes it will be punished. She should have known that. Hikari of all people should have known that.”

After one final glance at Hikari, she turned to leave, her white furisode billowing with the wind.

“Wait!” I yelled in anger. “What have you done to her?”

“Hikari was my imouto. I would never hurt her, ” she stated.

“Was?” I echoed in horror, the wrestle on my emotions starting to break apart.

“The Mother mixed poison in her drink. She is dying a painless death.”

I looked down at the figure that lay in my arms. Her hair had come undone and she looked just like the maiden in the fairytale Sleeping Beauty. It was such an irony. I should have known that by saving her, I couldn’t save the memory I once lost. Yet she lay in my arms like a dream... A never-ending dream of a love so taboo and a love unrequited. Promises of red roses, silk satin and a night under the moon were all left undone. Her pearl-like mask of beauty marred with red lines was all that was left. I had tried to be her knight in shining armor, when she didn’t need saving at all...

“Hikari...” I let out a strangled cry, tears spilling out.

Her amber eyes fluttered open, her vision faltering as she struggled to see me. With a smile, she reached out to cup my cheek.

“Smile more often...” was all she said before closing her eyes and drifting off to eternal sleep.

Run away.

Go somewhere far.

Never look back.

She beat me to it.

..--..