Damn it. Why did you have to be such a good friend? I almost wish you weren't so I wouldn't miss you so much when you're gone. But no, you just had to always be caring and fun. You had to make it impossible for meto let go of you. Who's going to fill the hole you left in my heart now?

Why'd you have to make everything fun, orat the very least, interesting? You couldn't just leave me to my boring schedule - school and work - day after day. You just had to invite me to sleepovers and movies. You just had to constantly come up with the most random things to say at the weirdest times that always made me crack up. Who's going to make me laugh now?

Why'd you have to share all of my interests? You loved almost everything I did and made me love things you enjoyed - even when I used to hate them. You've ruined al of my favorite things, because now they just remind me of you. Who's going to watch nerdy movies with me now?

Why'd you have to understand all of my weird jokes or the references to some book or television show? You'd quote them back to me, or laugh, knowing exactly what I meant. Others would've just shaken their heads, or given me weird looks. Who's going to understand me now?

Why'd you have to be so easy to talk to? You had to listen to my rants and cheer me up whenever I was upset about something. You couldn't just ignore me like everyone else. Who's going to listen to me now?

And another thing: why'd you have to hold my hand whenever I was scared or lonely? Everyone else would tell me that my fear was irrational or that being lonely was stupid. Anyone else would just tell me to get over it. Who's going to hold my hand now?

Why'd you have to be such a good friend that you became like my sister? Why'd you have to do all of these awesome things for me? Why'd you have to make me so happy? I hate that you've made my life so much better, because when you're gone, it's so much worse than ever before. Why'd you promise to always be there for me, when you knew that was a promise you couldn't keep? Why'd you have to be such an amazing best friend? Who's going to do all of these things now? Who's going to be there to keep me sane? Who's going to be my best friend now?