Say Goodbye

Stephanie Bell

Becky walked into the gym of her old high school. Ten years – could that much time have really passed? Still, it didn’t seem that much had changed in the school. The floors were a little more scuffed and the lockers more rustic, but aside from that, it was still so familiar. Three years of her life had been spent roaming these halls with her friends; running to classes or hesitating at the vending machines. She could still remember all of the good times they’d had together. It seemed they were always talking, whether complaining about part-times jobs and classes or fights they’d had with their parents the night before. She could still see her friends laughing at something stupid one of them had just said or done.

She scanned the room for a familiar face, hoping she’d still be able to recognize her friends after all this time. Someone smiled at her from across the floor and began to move toward her. Becky hadn’t been able to clearly see who it was, but she was soon about to find out.

“Becky! Is that you?” the girl exclaimed.

“Sam?” Becky asked. The girl nodded. Becky pulled her into a hug. “Oh my gosh! How’ve you been?” Becky and Sam hadn’t spoken since the last day of classes.

“Not bad, I guess. I’m a photographer now.” Samantha had always had a thing for cameras and taking photos. “What about you?”

Becky opened her mouth to speak, but at that moment they were joined by another of their old classmates, Ruby. They all exchanged their hellos and Ruby revealed that she was a doctor now, and was married, though she had no children. Becky remained unsurprised that Ruby had gone into medicine, since she’d always been obsessed with biology and anatomy. In high school, she’d diagnosed everyone with one terminal illness or another.

By the end of this conversation, they’d been joined by a few other friends, Candace, Sally, Jessica and Chandini. They had all been so close at one point, but the only one Becky had seen since graduation was Candace, and the only spoke a few times each year. They’d gone to university together and held late-night study sessions. They had even worked together for awhile – different positions within the same company.

There was only one person Becky really wanted to see that night, though. She kept looking anxiously around the room, but she had yet to spot the face she was searching for. She was becoming nervous that her friend wouldn’t show.

Her fears were soon proved empty as the face finally came into view. She could see the thick dark hair and sparkling brown eyes all the way across the room. Suddenly Becky’s fear that her friend wasn’t coming transformed into nerves. They hadn’t seen each other in such a long time, and they hadn’t exactly parted on the best of terms.

“Hey Becky,” her friend said nonchalantly as she walked up and stood beside her. “Hey everyone.”

“Bella,” Becky smiled. “How have you been? What have you been up to lately?” There was a noticeably strange tension in the air as they exchanged pleasantries.

In high school, Bella and Becky had been the best of friends – rarely ever were they apart. Through text messaging and all of the time they spent together in and out of classes, the only time they weren’t in constant communication was when one of them was asleep. They constantly made up inside jokes that no one else understood – even if they had been there when the joke was discovered. Everyone else must’ve thought them insane, how they were always laughing about something.

After graduation, Bella had moved across the country. It was hard on both of them, although they still spoke fairly often. They went to separate universities and led separate lives, and they weren’t near as close as before by any means.

Eventually, Becky’s job required her to move across the country as well. She was a journalist and all the opportunities were in the eastern part of the nation – and were very close to where Bella lived. By this time, Bella was engaged to a man named Maxwell Palmer. He was a rich and sophisticated guy. He was definitely a charmer – with a smile that could melt even the hardest of hearts – and within moments of meeting him, Becky could easily how Bella had been swept off her feet so quickly; they’d only known each other a few months. Bella couldn’t help that’s she’d always been a hopeless romantic.

Being closer in space seemed to fill the gap which had formed between them, and when Becky had a boyfriend, they became even tighter, since they were able to double date. Soon, Bella and Maxwell were married at a beautiful, almost heavenly, ceremony, where Becky immediately fell head-over-heels for the best man, Vincent Bauer.

Becky’s initial infatuation with Vincent quickly grew into something more. She never thought she’d ever even consider marriage, but in a quickie Vegas ceremony, it became clear her mind had been changed. At first, everyone had been angry that she’d excluded them from her wedding – since Bella and Maxwell had been the only witnesses. They all said she was moving too quickly; that they weren’t ready. Soon, however, it became old news. People moved on and Vincent and Becky were allowed to live in peace.

It was only a few short months before Becky discovered that she was pregnant. She hesitated awhile before telling anyone – especially Bella, who had been trying to have a child unsuccessfully for almost a year. Becky had been surprised, actually, when Bella had squealed and jumped for job, immediately insisting upon taking her shopping for maternity clothes after hearing the news. Still, Becky could tell that Bella was a little jealous – though she hid it well.

The nine months seemed to fly quickly by and Becky gave birth to a daughter, Isabella Tina Rose, named after her best friend. She named Bella the godmother and together they continuously fawned over the baby. Vincent, however, seemed to distance himself from his wife. He hardly showed interest in Becky’s life or in spending time with their infant daughter.

Although by the time it happened, most onlookers would have seen it coming, Becky was still devastated when, after two years of marriage, Vincent asked her for a divorce. Apparently, it turned out, he’d had a girlfriend on the side for quite awhile. She was barely of legal drinking age and had an IQ even lower.

It was at times like those when having such an awesome best friend made everything so much easier. Immediately after Becky and Vincent split, Bella offered her home to Becky and Isabella. “Max shouldn’t mind,” she’d explained, “since he was always away on business; and it’d be nice to have some company.” Becky moved in almost right away.

A few weeks later, the night which Becky came to regard as one of the worst in her life came. Bella was at night school, taking a creative writing course, and then she was headed out with some friends, so it seemed Becky was in for a quiet night. She’d already put Isabella to bed and was curled up in the third floor library re-reading one of her favourite books – Confessions of a Shopaholic. She was just about to doze off when she heard the front door slam.

Becky looked at the clock. It was only nine-fifteen, Bella shouldn’t be home yet. She poked her head out the library door and looked from the balcony into the foyer. It was just Max – probably returning early from his trip to surprise Bella. She sighed in relief, but before she could yell “hello”, he was joined by a girl with tragically fake blond hair, and skin that was overly tanned. She grabbed Max’s face and pulled him into a passionate kiss. They stumbled down the hall and out of sight.

For a moment, Becky was frozen in place, hardly able to comprehend what she’d just witnessed. What should she do? She was too shocked to think properly. She never would have pegged Maxwell as the type of guy to cheat on his wife – if she had, she never would’ve let him marry her best friend – but then, she also hadn’t suspected Vincent of it either, so perhaps she wasn’t the best judge.

Should she go in there and break it up? She sure didn’t want to, but she thought it was probably best if she did, otherwise she knew she’d feel guilty. She couldn’t just let it go on and pretend she hadn’t seen anything... She tried to prepare herself as she timidly went down the stairs. She was so angry for Bella that she felt physically nauseous. She took a deep breath as she approached her friend’s bedroom.

The door was cracked open and she could hear the disturbing squeaking of the mattress. She shuddered in disgust and tried to figure out what the hell she was supposed to say in a situation like that. She cautiously pushed open the wooden door and tried her damnedest not to see anything that would scar her too badly.

“Stop!” she exclaimed as loudly as she could manage.

Max rolled over to face Becky, covering himself with the white sheets. She vaguely recognized the girl in bed with him from a few of the parties Bella had hosted, but couldn’t quite remember her name – Sharon or Shannon or something, maybe?

“Rebecca?” he said in a tight voice. “What are you doing here?”

“I was invited to stay here by Bella – you remember her, right? Your wife?”

“Don’t be stupid; of course I remember.”

Becky rolled her eyes and left dramatically – at least she hoped it was dramatic, she was really just too uncomfortable to stay in there any longer. She bounded up the stairs and huddled up on her bed, biting right through her bottom lip. She tried with all of her energy to focus on something else; she was starting to hyperventilate. It was hours before she finally fell asleep.

She didn’t see Bella the next morning, she’d left early for work and was gone by the time Becky came down the stairs. Max wasn’t around either, thank goodness. He was still playing the role of the good husband who was just away on business. Becky was thankful for the extra time. She dropped Isabella off at daycare and headed off to work herself. She tried to tame the butterflies which fluttered through her stomach, but burying herself in her work did not seem to help anything this time.

“Becky,” her secretary’s voice came through the intercom. “You have a call on line one.”

“Okay; thank you Millie.” Becky pushed the glowing button on her phone. “Hello?”

“Rebecca,” a familiar voice replied. Becky contemplated hanging up on him, but Max spoke before she could. “Don’t you dare tell Bella what you think you saw last night.”

Becky rubbed her temples. “I will do and say what I please,” she answered.

“If you want to go on living at my house, eating my food and using my things, then I suggest you don’t even consider breathing even a single word of it to her.”

Becky took a deep breath. “I understand.”

“Good.”

She heard Maxwell slam down the phone and sighed. She pushed the end call button on the speaker phone and picked up the receiver to start a new call.

“Hello?” said the distracted voice on the other end of the line.

“Bella?”

“Becky?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, hey hun, what’s up?”

“I need to talk to you about something, but now’s not a good time. Can we chat after work?”

“Of course sweetie. I’ll do my best to be home at a decent hour tonight, ‘kay?”

“Thanks darling.”

Becky waited in the kitchen of Bella’s mansion, waiting for her friend to return. Bella walked in the door, exhausted from work. Becky felt ill having to break this news to her best friend, but she knew if she didn’t say anything, Bella would continue living a lie, and guilt would eventually consume her.

“Hey Bex,” Bella said, dropping files onto the table. “What’s wrong sweetie?”

“Look, um, I have something, uh, important to tell you,” Becky said, her voice breaking.

“ ‘Kay, what is it?”

“Um okay, well, just, it’s really not going to make you happy.”

“Just tell me what it is,” Bella sighed. Her expression made it clear that she was not in the mood to beat around the bush.

“Last night, while you were out,” she paused. “Um, well, Max came home.”

“What?” Bella chuckled. “Bex, hun, he’s out of the country. Are you sure you weren’t dreaming?”

Becky ignored Bella’s comment and continued with her story. “He wasn’t alone, either.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He was with another girl; some fake blond with a hideous tan. They were kissing and when I got downstairs...” she trailed off.

“Becky, what are you trying to tell me?” Bella’s tone was serious now. Her eyes narrowed.

“Maxwell is having an affair.”

“Becky, this isn’t funny.”

“Oh, believe me, I know; especially after what I saw last night.”

“You’re lying.”

“No, honey, I wish I were. But they were...doing stuff...that definitely went against your marriage vows.”

“Stop it.”

“Bella, I’m sorry, but this isn’t a joke.”

“Stop! Just stop!” Bella snapped. She sat down and buried her head in her hands. “I know what you’re going through with Vincent is hard, but –”

“That’s not what this is about!” Becky interrupted. “Vincent has nothing to do with this! I’m just trying to be a loyal friend and let you know about your husband’s...indiscretions.”

“Max wouldn’t do that to me! I know he wouldn’t! So stop lying. Just because you’re miserable doesn’t mean I have to be as well. You’re just jealous that I have a loving husband while yours traded you in for a newer model.”

“No, Bella, that’s not it,” Becky grumbled through clenched teeth.

“Just because you failed at your marriage doesn’t give you the right to break up mine. God, Becky! You’re so selfish. I always have to look after you and pick up the pieces when something goes wrong in your life. I’m so sick of it!”

“So, what? I’m the only one who can possibly screw up? Because you’re always so perfect. Perfect house, perfect job, perfect husband? Don’t try to pull that with me; I’ve seen you at your worst. You’re far from perfect.”

“I never said I was perfect, but at least I don’t pass all of my problems onto the nearest person.”

“That’s not what I’m doing, and I think you know that. Your husband’s having an affair and you’re just too scared to admit that you know it. Do you really think all those trips were for business?”

“Get out.”

“What?”

“I mean it. I don’t want you here anymore. I want a best friend who will support my happiness – not one who’ll just try to ruin it.”

“Fine. But one day you’ll have to accept that I’m right.”

Bella rolled her eyes and glared. “Just go.”

Becky stormed out of the kitchen and up to her room to pack all of her stuff. Thankfully it wasn’t a very time-consuming task since she’d been there less than a month; most of her stuff was still in a box or a suitcase.

Once her stuff was together, she proceeded into Isabella’s room and began to place all of her toys and clothes into a box. Isabella could sense that her mother was upset; she stopped playing and began to cry.

“Oh sweetie,” Becky began as she kneeled by the baby. She picked up her daughter and whispered “It’ll be okay” as she walked around the room.

Once Izzie was quieted down, Becky forced herself to pack in a calmer manner. She choked back a few tears. Bella had always been there for her and she’d always done her best to do the same. They were like a pair of twins; their bond so strong that they could feel each other’s pain. She’d been the one who understood all of Becky’s references to pop culture or her nerdy jokes, which usually had something to do with Doctor Who or The Big Bang Theory. They’d been able to talk about everything and it was hard for Becky to think that their friendship could end like this. Even as she moved all of her things out of the house, a faint hope remained that Bella would change her mind.

As Becky moved the last few boxes out of the house, Bella came to sit in the den, which was adjacent to the foyer. She read one of her King Arthur books, looking up at her former best friend every once in awhile, but saying nothing.

Becky noticed this, and as she carried Isabella out of the mansion, she waved goodbye. Reluctantly, Bella waved back and Becky left, closing the door softly behind her.

Two years had passed and Becky and Bella hadn’t spoken. The exchanged glances a few times, but both remained relatively silent as the others caught up, which was unusual for them.

“Bella,” she said as soon as everyone was quiet for a moment. “Can I speak with you alone for a moment, please?”

Bella didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”

They moved toward a vacant table silently, neither one knowing exactly what to say. They sat down and stared at each other for a moment.

“You look good,” Becky stated.

“Thanks, so do you.”

Becky forced a smile. She missed their easy conversations. “Um, so...” she trailed off. “I don’t really know what to say here.”

“Listen Bex, I’m, um, I’m sorry. I should’ve known you wouldn’t lie about something like that. Maxwell’s just an ass.”

“It’s okay; I understand. Believe me, I know the feeling.”

“I know.”

They sat in silence for a moment. “I missed you Bella.”

“I missed you too, Bex.”

“So,” Becky began, “what have you been up to?”

“Well, when I realized you were right about Maxwell, I asked him for a divorce. I got a killer lawyer who landed me a huge divorce settlement.”

“That’s good,” Becky smiled.

“Yeah.” Bella stared into space for a moment, but quickly snapped back to reality. “I wanted to call you, but I was in a really bad place and I just couldn’t face you, and by the time I could, I thought it might be too late.”

“It’s never too late, hun.”

Bella smiled. “But I’ve met a new guy; we’ve been dating nearly a year.”

“That’s great Bella!”

“And do you want to know one of the coolest parts?”

“Sure.”

“His name is Edward! So we’re Edward and Bella! Although neither of us is a vampire.”

“Ha-ha, sweet! And it’s made only funnier by the fact that I met someone as well, and his name is Luke!”

“Oh my God! Are you serious?”

“Yes!”

“Awesome! That’s amazing! We both literally got our dream guys!”

“I know!”

“So how long have you been seeing Luke?”

“I met him shortly after I moved out. Actually, we just got married two months ago.” Becky held up her left hand to show off her ring to Bella. “Barely got home from the honeymoon before I had to fly out for this thing.”

“Wow; congratulations!”

“Thanks.”

“Oh, how’s Isabella?”

“She’s awesome. She’s getting so big now! She was a flower girl at the wedding. She was absolutely adorable in her little white dress. And Luke has a son, too, named Austin. He was our ring bearer. He’s four; absolutely precious. Izzie gets along fabulously with him, which is awesome.”

“That’s great!”

Becky and Bella spent the next few hours catching up and were eventually joined by their other friends. As they both sat in the gymnasium of the school which had brought them together, Becky noticed how different Bella looked – how different everyone looked; some better, some worse. She felt bad for letting so much time go by without speaking to them; so many good friendships faded away, though she had made new friends to take their place. She looked at all their aged faces, and despite how great her life was going, for a moment, she missed high school. She missed hanging out in the office of the school newspaper and hosting movie nights. She knew they’d drift apart again, but for the moment, she allowed herself to just be seventeen again.