The Deather Kids

deeneronikyu

In the afterlife, all spirits must stand in a line, not to get into Heaven or Hell, but to receive their Card from the Rule Book. This Card contains all the information of the spirit’s new life once they are reincarnated – ethnicity, gender, interests, social status, future spouse, etc… In the interest of equality, however, all cards are given to the spirit face-down, and should the spirit attempt to peek at the content of the card, they will see only the face of a normal card, such as a Three of Diamonds, or a Seven of Clubs, and no information about the Spirit’s new life will be revealed. These are the rules, as they have been, and as they will remain.

A Spirit approached the Rule Book with an air of boredom. How many times has the Spirit lived and died now? Sure, amnesia always sets in during life about the Cards and the Rule Book and such, but once you’re back, you remember. You remember everything, how monotonous it is, the stupid cards, and the pointless rules. The waiting.

“This is the hundred-and-sixth time I’ve done this.” The Spirit mumbled to itself. “Why do they make us stand in line to get a Card we never get to learn the contents of?” The Rule book flipped a page as the Spirit touched it. For each spirit, the Rule Book flipped a page, revealing the face-down card. The Rule Book itself never ran out of pages, no matter how many spirits touched it, no matter how many times it flipped to the next page. “Thanks.” The Spirit took the card and walked away, letting the next in line receive their card.

The Spirit’s favorite place to go before the Rule Book called it to be reborn was something of a social mall for Spirits waiting for their own call. It was best described as a circular courtyard with sixty gazebos outlining it outer boundaries, each an equidistance from each other. At the center of the courtyard, where a garden bloomed, was a peculiar chandelier that seemed to hang from thin air alone. Most of the gazebos were already filled with spirits, chatting it up, and the center garden never felt like a good place to relax for the Spirit (it was incredibly difficult to shake the paranoia that the chandelier would fall), so it instead made its way towards a gazebo that had only two other Spirits in it.

Entering the gazebo gently, the Spirit knocked politely and asked if he could join. The other Spirits quietly agreed.

“Why are you both so alone? The other gazebos seem pretty filled, except for this one.” The Spirit took a spot so it could see quite clearly the other two. “Do you know each other? I never seem to die when the Spirits I’ve known die, and I end up missing them all.”

One of the Spirits was gripping its newly acquired care quite firmly, looking nervous. It spoke fast. “No, no. I’m actually kind of new to this. I mean – this is the first time I’ve, you know, died.”

“Oh really!” The spirit that had just joined them was deeply touched by this spark of knowledge. New spirits were pretty rare. “That’s adorable! Why, I remember my first time through the system. It was confusing. Don’t worry too much, though, you’ll get the hang of it soon enough. Now, what about this one?” Addressing the third and so-far silent spirit directly, the spirit decided it was pleased with this particular gazebo enough to sit down.

The third spirit nodded back in recognition – there was something familiar about this spirit, as though they had crossed paths before. “I suppose it would be fair to consider me a seasoned veteran of this entire system. The resident expert. To be quite honest, I’ve lost count of the times I’ve been here. But I remember my first time coming through, humans hadn’t even evolved yet. I may have been a slug, I can’t remember.”

“You seem familiar, but I can’t really put my finger on it.”

The ancient spirit rubbed its hands together, nodded. “A lot of spirits say that about me. I think that’s why we’re mostly alone in here. I’m afraid my living self is rather good at being an asshole. I make people uneasy, I suppose.”

The original spirit shrugged. “You don’t make me uneasy.”

A small silence descended upon the trio. The amount of time is lasted was hard to determine – five minutes, maybe twenty minutes, maybe an hour. It was easy to get lost in memories as a spirit, often forgetting that you’re no longer alive, that you’re still waiting to be told what to do. Brought back to its current circumstances, the 106-cycle old spirit was briefly embarrassed by its sudden lapse in concentration. It figured the silence must have looked really strange for the new spirit, who really only had one life to reflect on. Speaking of the new spirit, it was spending the time of silence looking at its card, face down and face up.

“It’s not going to change, no matter how many times you’ve looked at it, you know.”

The new spirit shrugged. “Even if it’s not relevant to our understandings, you have to figure, the face shown to us must contain some clues about our next life. I don’t know about you seasoned spirits, but I’m really curious.” Its speech rested for a moment, or maybe a few hours, before it started again. The thought was continuous, however, and flowed perfectly well. “It’s an Ace of Clubs. What are both of your cards?”

The last spirit to join the gazebo looked at its card, since it hadn’t really taken the time or care to memorize it the first time it looked at it. “Jack of Hearts. Sounds kind of romantic, doesn’t it?”

Both spirits looked towards the ancient spirit, expecting to hear its card. As it was, the final spirit’s card was still safely stored away in a pocket, and the spirit took its sweet time retrieving it. Finally, it read aloud: “Nine of Spades. How typical. I’ve gotten this one twice before, both lives were completely different. I don’t think they mean anything. It really is just a façade, this card.”

The youngest spirit looked disappointed, but seemed pleased at the conversation enough not willing to let it die. “If nothing else, may I call you both by your cards? You can be ‘Jack’ for ‘Jack of Hearts’ for example. I can be ‘Ace’ and the old fart back here can be ‘Nine.’ Is that ok with both of you?”

The spirit holding the Jack of Hearts nodded. “That’s a lovely idea, Ace.”

“My name is ‘Nine’ now? Well I suppose I’m OK with it. It’s not the worst name I’ve ever had. Sometimes, I didn’t even get a name. Slugs don’t have names, you know. Neither do peacocks or fleas. I wish I’ll be a peacock again. I was the best peacock ever, you know.”

The Jack of Hearts was perfectly satisfied with letting the Nine of Spades to mumble itself into oblivion. It felt almost sorry for the ancient spirit – it originated from a time before humans? That’s absurdly old! No wonder it mumbles, it must be having almost uncontrollable flashbacks. It was probably well past the spirit’s retirement, poor Nine.

Ace, however, wanted to learn more. “Is it common, not living as a human?”

Barely taking a break from its mumbling, Nine shrugged. “Well there’s not really much difference, is there? Maybe because you’re new, and maybe because your first life was as a human, but all living is a sort of a monotonous balance to sustain itself, no matter what you are. Of course, that energy eventually fails and you bounce back here. The first time I died as a human – well that was a kind of mindfuck, really. The come-down from an animal life is really much cleaner, you know, less confusion about identity and all that.”

Jack could tell that Ace still wanted Nine to continue on its little rant about the complications of humanity, but its interests wavered in a more intriguing direction. “The first time you came here then, Nine, did they still use these Cards? I mean, if humans didn’t really exist yet, were there still cards?”

“Of course! This place has not changed at all since I first died. Not at all… Some spirits you see, uh well, some spirits have a better memory. There’s usually a strong amnesia when you’re alive, but some of us remember quite well. I figure someone who remembered well brought the cards to the living, you know, and that’s why humans like them so much. It’s a metaphor for power over lives, of others, their own, blabla, like Chess only better. Chess is a great metaphor for just about anything, really, but it’s not a good a metaphor for the Cards. For Chess, there’s one set of pieces, one game board, one set of rules. But the cards, all you really need is the cards, and you can play with yourself, or any number of others, any number of games, any number of rules. You can even do magic tricks with them. Pick a card, any card from this deck, and I’ll find it for you, even levitate out of the deck if you want. Fuck all, if the Rule Book was half that amusing-”

“That’s right, the Rule Book!” Ace nearly jumped out of its seat. “Does it actually contain rules? I mean, one page is obviously giving a Card to a Spirit, but that’s only one page just turn over and over again, right? It was very strange. From a human perspective. There’s entire book left over. Does it all contain rules?”

Jack was largely silent throughout the exchange between Ace and Nine. While it did not know the answers to the questions Ace was asking, it also did not ever have the curiosity enough to ask them. It was almost humiliating in a way. To Jack, the topics at hand were happening to be very educational.

Not noticing Jack of Heart’s lack of involvement, Nine continued, very into the topic and rightfully pleased that it was considered an expert at something. ‘Being an expert’ at something was one thing that Nine recalled very affectionately from its times as a human. There were no experts amongst slugs. “Oh, it does contain rules. The best part of the book is that most of its content was written in by spirits much like us. There’s only a small part that’s always been there about the nature of spirits and the Cards and the Rule Book itself, mostly just saying that they exist, and the rest was just added in. I think it’s a rule that if it’s in the rulebook, it’s a rule.”

Jack’s interest was piqued. “Wait, so you really can just write rules in there you made up?”

“Yes, you really can. And it’ll be a rule until someone erases it. Anyone can erase this shit, too. It’s anarchic really. I have no idea who says it is the way it is or why it is how they say it, but you if know, I suppose-”

Without giving any notice, Ace suddenly just hopped out of the gazebo and ran towards the rule book. After a brief, confusion-filled hesitation, Jack and Nine ran after the young spirit, enlivened by its energy. By the time they reached Ace, it was already flipping through the pages eagerly, admiring and barely reading the rules hand-written in by spirits.

“This is wonderful!” Ace stopped its flipping on a random page and began to read from it. “’The Rule Book is to be immediately free for any Spirit who wishes to read the rules within.’ Is that why there’s not a line here right now? Oh, this is excellent. ‘It is against the rules to erase this rule.’ Haha, such redundancy! And this one: ‘This rule was written by a Spirit awaiting its retirement, only to realize that there are no rules on retirement. The rule is it has to stay that way: No rules on retirement allowed.’ Very nice, very nice. Say, what happens if you break a rule?”

Jack looked at Nine and both Spirits shrugged. Neither knew.

Nine brainstormed. “Well, look in the beginning, at the rules that precede spirits. Maybe it has it in there.”

Nodding, Ace flipped to the very beginning. “Let’s see… Here’s a part about the Rule Book… and here is where they talk about the Cards… And the next page is when spirits started added their own rules in. No, no it doesn’t look like it says anything about what happens when you break the rules.”

“Give it to me,” Nine pushed Ace out of the way so get a better look. “Not… not in the original text it looks like, but see this here? The first rule written in is ‘It is not against the rules for Spirits to add to the Rule Book.’ The second rule is ‘The Rule Book is not responsible for its contents.’ The third rule is ‘All content within the Rule Book, except for the original content, may be added to, edited, or deleted by any Spirit.’ Doesn’t seem anyone really cares about break the rules, as long as they can write in their own rules and loopholes to cover their asses. I bet no one has even tried to break one of the original rules. This groundwork they set down here in the beginning is superb…”

Jack stood around, wondering how long it would have to wait to be reincarnated. It was always a waiting game, it felt like. The interval of time was always different, but by what standard the spirit could not tell. Ace approached Jack, feeling a bit dejected that Nine had pushed it away from the Rule Book, where the ancient spirit was still examining the contents and making random notes on its genius.

“Now here’s a question: if we switch up cards with someone else, do we still get the details of the life supposedly inscribed on our original card, or the card we’re in possession of at the time of reincarnation?”

“Honestly, I have no idea. You’re too curious, Acey. Just go with the flow, it’s been working out just fine for me for ages. Just hold on to your card and wait. That’s all we have to do to not screw it up, you know?”

Ace ignored Jack and continued its musings. “That’s makes sense. Otherwise, what’s the point of these cards at all?” A brief pause. “Oh dear! What happens when you get reincarnated with absolutely no card in your possession? Nine, is there a rule about that?”

Nine heard its name and looked at Ace blankly. “This book is huge. And I don’t know all the rules. I suppose we could add one in if you’d like. Here…” Nine picked up and uncapped a pen that was next to the book. “What shall I put down for you?”

“Whoa, whoa, wait a minute here!” Jack was suddenly very concerned at the way things were going. “You can’t just make a rule to make your fancy like that. What if you put in the same rule twice, or put in a rule that contradicts another rule? It’s unfair to just meddle with things like that, why can’t you both just leave it alone?”

Ace rolled its eyes. “You worry too much. It’s not against the rules to add rules, we just read that. Alright, Nine, are you ready?”

“As ever.”

“Here it goes, then.” Clearing its throat, Ace nodded as it worded the new rule in its head. “’It is now a rule that whatever Card a spirit is in possession of when it un-dies, the spirit will take on the properties of that card. ’ That should, indirectly, cover a case with a spirit living without a card.” Ace took a moment to look at its card. “See, now all I want to do is switch my card with someone.”

Nine nodded. “I’ll switch with you. Six lives, half doz’ the other. Really, it makes no difference to me. I’ve been around long enough to thoroughly not care. Here, let me get it out…” As Nine reached into its pocket to get the Card, however, the edge of it must have caught on something, and all three spirits stood in shock as Nine managed to rip its card in half. “Oh, fuck me!”

“Oh, well look what you did. See there?” Jack shook its head in a strange satisfaction.

Jack’s satisfaction didn’t last for long, however, as Nine hastily reached out and grabbed Jack’s Card and ripped it cleanly in half before returning it to its owner, a smug look on its face. “Oops, look what I did. Misery loves company, see there? See there? What are you going to do about it, huh? Are you going to cry?”

“What the fuck is this?!” The second spirit to have its Card halved stood there, confused, with each half in each hand, looking at them mournfully. “This is bullshit. I don’t want half a personality!” Still in disbelief, Jack reunited the cards back together, pausing for a moment as if hoping the memory of the cards would magically turn back time and bring the pieces together. As it turns out, the two pieces of Jack’s card did suddenly reattach themselves, making it appear as though no tear had happened at all. Jack was pleased. “It fixed itself!”

Ace was impressed “Perfect! Do you suppose it’s a rule?”

“Let me try,” Nine retrieved the other half of its card and let them touch in the same manner Jack had done just previously. Sure enough, the Card became whole again. “All better, all better.”

“Pause, both of you, pause!” Ace was almost exploding in excitement. “I think we should all tear our cards up, and then put the pieces on the ground, mix them up, and see if they attach like that. Either they just attach only to itself, in which case we’ll have our cards back, or completely new cards will form. What do you say?”

Nine looked as though it was considering it, but Jack had had just about enough. “No, absolutely not. All I want is a nice quiet afterlife before I drag my ass back into tangibility, ok? Understand? I don’t want to make, break or test the rules. Am I repeating myself? I feel like I’m repeating myself. Why are you both so - HEY! Give that back!”

Somewhere in the middle of Jack’s rant, Nine had grabbed both Jack’s and Ace’s Cards, put them in a pile with its own, and began to rip them to shreds. By the time Jack’s reflexes allowed it to reach out for its lost Card, it was already in three pieces, falling to the ground. Nine grunted at Jack’s expression of pure sorrow. “All your whining made me want to do it. Stop acting like a sissy. This here is Ace’s first time through the system and the spirit has got more sense than a seasoned veteran such as yourself. What are you so afraid of? Come, look, they’re all torn up now. Let’s see if they reattach.”

Jack was still pretty shocked at the Card now lay on the ground in multiple pieces. “If?”

Just as Jack was speaking, however, the Cards were already starting to move and reattach themselves to the card pieces nearby. First, all the pieces turned upside down, and then began to move about the pile, finding pieces that seemed to fit best, weaving inside and over other pieces that were similarly trying to fix itself. After a few moments, the pieces were all gone, and all that remained were three face-down cards. Shyly, Ace reached down to the card closest it and looked at it.

Ace looked at its Card in confusion for a moment before turning it around to let the other spirits look at it. “It’s a Nine of Spades. Only it’s red.”

Simultaneously, both Jack and Nine reached down and picked up the Cards closest to them. Jack held its Card up for both spirits to see. It was black Ace of Hearts. Nine’s new card was just a regular Jack of Clubs.

“Peculiar.”

The three spirits stood there for a while like that, just looking at their new cards and wondering what it all meant. Jack supposed that its black Ace of Hearts felt foreboding, but mostly in romantic way, so it was probably acceptable. One thing that the spirits could not test was whether the actual contents of the cards had jumbled as well, not just the façade.

Jack looked at the other two spirits. “Now what?”

Nine shrugged. “Wait to be called, I guess. Hey, what are you doing…?”

Not bothering to answer the confusion of the Senior Spirit, Ace had pushed its way in front of the rule book and had begun to add a new rule. “’In the case that a Spirits should mix up the Cards, all the Spirits involved will cross paths in the relevant life switched.’ See there? I’m always thinking, always formulated… Always wanting one thing to build upon the other. This way, we can continue this experiment in life!”

“Not that we’ll remember any of this, you know.” Jack was complaining, but in the end, it was really alright with the situation. Granted, the jumbled cards could mean some sort of extraordinarily weird and out-of-sorts life. Or it could mean absolutely nothing.

Ace nodded. “I know. Just something as a follow-up, you know? Something to look forward to when we die again.”

“To be honest, I was planning on retiring after this life or so.” Nine’s face held a peaceful smile. “This will be an excellent way to go out, don’t you think? I’ve been wanting to jump out of this cycle for a while now, just never got around to see the point. But I’m feeling it. I think this is the last life I want.”

Despite the strange sadness of the words, both Ace and Jack acknowledged the words with a sense of dignity and contentedness. Nothing else was said on the subject.

“Now all we have to do,” Jack began, tucking the new Card safely away until it was time to live again. “Is figure out what we want to do as we wait.”